You've heard of girl math, what about s*x math

Transcript

0 zero so that is basically a pound every day i'm using that bag is worth a pound right so every day for a year this is a year's worth right that bag every day that i use it is a pound so technically it's free another example is if i put money on my starbucks card right if i put 10 pounds that's free that's an investment basically starbucks paid for my drink that was a free drink another type of girl math is if i'm at the airport that doesn't count i'm not spending money i don't know who's paying for that but it is not me because airports are not even real think about it if i'm spending money in there it's free another form of girl math is if i bought a pair of shoes that were really expensive that were 200 yeah that's fucking expensive right but if i wear them 200 times it's free that is installments that does not count because i'm gonna get my money's worth that is girl maths i am making a profit so like those slippers i'm making a profit if i wear them 95 times you know i've made a profit that's an installment i'm happy with my installment when i bought those slippers i didn't feel like you know what they were really expensive i'm gonna feel bad about myself what i thought was i just saved a lot of fucking money okay the airport thing is a travel expense i don't know who is paying but someone's paid i've paid but i'm not really because who just goes it's not like i'm going to the airport to buy stuff every single day it's like an investment in my travel do you get me if i return something right i've made a profit i'm an entrepreneur i'm basically a salesperson think about what you need to think that those slippers were on sale if i didn't get them i would have missed an opportunity i would have missed like a bargain once the market prices were down think about that if i didn't have i would have right let's no no you're not getting it the sale was on right you don't need to know what the original price was okay it doesn't matter if it was two pound off 50 off friggin 10 off i think it was 10 off right if i did not get those slippers i would have got other slippers but they would have worn they would have been wrecked in like what a few months these are thick okay they're nice colour they're classy they're expensive but i'm presuming assuming that they're a good quality i've read the reviews they were good if i didn't get that that would have been a mistake i would have been a fool do you understand me a fucking fool if i didn't get that because i'm not taking advantage when the market prices are down okay if i put money on my starbucks card right think about this if i put like 10 pound on there that's a brand deal that's a profit because i didn't pay for that starbucks paid for that drink because it doesn't show on my balance and that babes is a profit so you just don't understand no no no i don't want to hear about biomass because as far as i can see i'd rather be dilulu in this scenario i don't want to hear how you made a profit i don't care you know i when i look at biomass i think that isn't a profit this is not a profit compared to my profit that ain't a profit babe you know what we should talk about i just filmed this and i think it's a fucking great idea you're getting on at me about my this is my purchase fuck off that is an investment that is a great deal that you can't get a better deal than that maybe you could but like how long would i have to wait i'm not taking advantage of that great deal i'm missing out i would have been probably miserable but now look at me in my slippers you see these they put like an extra inch on my height that is it's a bargain right but you know what we should talk about yes i am deflecting the fact that i'm mid-purchase that you're not happy with but you know what i'm happy i'm flourishing i'm taller what can i say babe we should take advantage of boom math okay let's say hypothetically there is a painting that is a grand do you understand like a thousand pounds yeah if we steal that painting they're not gonna miss out they're not gonna lose the money because they're gonna get that money back if we steal we steal from the rich i know stealing's bad at all but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do they're not gonna be like in the negatives and financial we're gonna get a profit we're gonna get a gain from that so if i steal a freaking photo from like a rich person just think you could make that 95 pound back and then so think about that no i haven't worked out all the ideas yet but they're in there they're cooking so one day if i steal a painting that's worth a grand you'll thank me because then you've made a profit you haven't lost your 95 but really you've not really anyway that was on my card but you know it doesn't matter i'll think of a better solution okay we're gonna steal a painting yeah we're gonna do it but anything could be maths really i mean have you heard about girl measuring well that's when you don't use a measuring tape you just use your hands unlike the width of whatever you're measuring with your hands that's um that's the measurement so for example if i measured my desk i would put one hand on one corner the other on the other and then that would be my measurement and then when i lift up or i move backwards that is my measurement i mean i haven't tested that theory out recently but it's i don't think it's failed me before um well so yeah i stand by my statement that anything could be maths and not the typical johnny has five apples and estabantics free no no no not that and like what do i mean like well sex can be maths yes it can and i know i don't mean in the sense of like add the bed subtract the clothes the clothes divide the legs and hope you don't multiply no no no that is not what i'm on about um i don't have a name for it yet but we could test a theory we could measure the distance of how far you can come i'm being serious this think of it as a challenge um let's say let me put my notebook down if you can come on me or like a body part like my pubic bone or something i would let you come inside me but to make it more of a challenge i so let me get up let me sit on the edge of the bed so if i'm sat on the edge of the bed like like this what about three feet it's not too hard but it might not be too easy it's precisely one meter meter if you can come on my pubic bone and i'll let you come inside this pussy oh what do you think i mean it's testing my my maths theory this is my maths theory anything can be maths oh you can't do it so you don't want to come inside my pussy you do well well i'll you know i wasn't just gonna leave you all by yourself i can't let you have all the fun i'm going to help you so let me get a bit more comfortable if i lean back and i spread my legs i know i'm in your t-shirt it's so big on me um and if i just spread my legs for you you no panties oh i know i'm so naughty so what i want you to do is push those boxes down and i want you to start by teasing the tip in little circles with two fingers and then you can pretend that it's my hand i know my hands are so small i know my hands are so small oh you're just so big and then i want you to go up and down the shaft does that feel good good boy and teasing the tip of your dick when you go up and you tease it for just a little bit and then you go back to stroking yeah good boy and you can pretend that it's my hand or maybe you want to pretend that it's my mouth yeah as you go up and down and you can pretend that my lips my lips close tight around it and i look up at you because you're too big big teary eyes and i trace my tongue along your veins and then i'll circle the tip of my tongue and i'll taste your.