Your New Coworker Himbo has a Familiar Voice... - Part 1 (SFW)

Transcript

Hey, uh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, um, I hope it's not a bother, but, oh god, I'm sorry, can you remind me what your name is again? Yes, that's right, thank you, I'm sorry, I'm great with faces, but I'll probably have to ask you that again, and, one more time after that, I really suck at like, remembering names and numbers, ugh, okay, thanks, yeah, I know, I know, it's a lot of new people all at once, yeah, but like, I work with you, I should remember that, sorry, um, right, sorry, uh, yeah, so, the boss asked me to take a look at this spreadsheet so that I can familiarize myself with the, uh, ooh, the, um, problem project, I can't remember the name for it, the big one, I think it's like all you guys have been working on, yes, that's it, thank you, god, you guys have so many acronyms, um, anyways, you mentioned that if I get stuck, uh, I could ask you for some help, is, uh, is that okay, did, did he mention that to you? Okay, awesome, thank you, thank you, uh, god, uh, yeah, so, I've poked around a little bit, and, um, well, I guess I am stuck, if you, uh, if you have like, you know, a minute or two, okay, thank you, thank you, yeah, man, I always feel so bad for interrupting people, I feel like I'm breaking the usual silence in the office every half hour, oh, thank you, that's very nice, um, yeah, it is quiet in here, yeah, well, it might be a nice change now, but, uh, just you wait, I know I talk way too much, if I'm ever too loud, you can always, like, tell me to shut up, or whatever, you say that now, but, um, I am pretty sure my voice will get under your skin eventually, with my head poking over the cubicle wall every five minutes, anyways, yes, um, yeah, I am a bit stuck, uh, oh, god, okay, with all of it, yeah, yeah, um, I don't really know what I'm looking at, like, uh, like, like, at all, um, I know, you know, I know we went, we all went to school, right, um, we probably have the same degree, uh, I think I recognize some of the equations used in there, but, uh, I just gotta be honest, um, the most I've ever used Excel, like, in my whole life has been, uh, the sum equation, that's, uh, that's kind of it, and there are a lot of spooky words in there, and, um, like, a shitload of numbers, you know, I did, I did say at the interview before I started, I was totally honest, because I, you know, fucking hate lying, I probably shouldn't swear that much in the office, oh, god, I'm sorry, so I didn't lie, and, uh, they said that was fine, and that I would catch on quickly, but I, I literally don't even know where to begin, and what to look at, and I feel like an idiot, okay, yeah, sorry, sorry, a little too loud, yeah, my bad, um, right, okay, are you, are you sure that's okay, I don't, I don't want it to feel like you're holding my hand through all of this, but you're sure, I feel like, okay, okay, thank you, look, I'll take notes, um, so hopefully, you know, I'll learn, maybe, maybe don't go too quick, okay, uh, right, um, what do you mean it starts here, and why, that's like halfway down the sheet, uh, okay, hmm, you have a question for me, well, this isn't like a quiz, is it, right, I'm, I'm gonna fail if this is a quiz, I don't know anything that I'm looking at, huh, uh, well, hey, I don't think so, um, I'm pretty bad with names, but I, I actually am pretty good at recognizing faces, unless it was like a really long time ago, if you totally changed your look or something, I don't think we've met before, I would have definitely recognized you if we did, no, no, I don't, I don't mean that in a bad way, um, trust me, no, I just, yeah, yeah, no, I just remember if you, if we met, fuck, um, um, my voice, uh, I mean, like, yeah, like, online, um, I guess I do kind of do some, like, some voice acting, if you could call it that, it's like, it's like a hobby of sorts, um, mostly for YouTube and stuff like that, it's not a, I'm not, like, popular or anything, it really is like a small little hobby that I have, um, maybe you heard, like, maybe, I don't know, maybe you heard, like, one of the channels I narrated for something, I've jumped around, I've done a lot of different projects, uh, none of them are very big, but, you know, the internet's the sea of unknown, maybe, yeah, yeah, I guess, um, a few years ago, I did something for one of those, like, I don't know, one of those really clickbait, wow, that sounds bad, doesn't it, but, I mean, I guess it was, uh, I got out of that as soon as I realized how shitty it was, and honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if they were just using AI for everything now, but that's a rant for another time, um, yeah, sorry, one of those, like, really shitty clickbait top 10 spooky videos that will keep you up at night, that's the kind of bullshit, uh, god, I'm sorry, I shouldn't swear that much, my bad, um, you don't mind, okay, good, oh, it's been a while since I've worked in an office, I feel like I need to relearn the, uh, the whole etiquette, the audiobook, um, I mean, I've done, uh, like, narration before for, uh, other YouTube channels, what, uh, what website do you, no, yeah, maybe it was YouTube, you know, small, small world and all that, um, do you, I'm sorry, this is, like, a really, god, really fucking awkward question to ask, um, do you know where the bathroom is?

I was shown, like, once this morning, and, um, as soon as I leave, like, this main office room, it is a maze, I know you're probably used to it, I'm sure I will be, but, uh, I don't even know how to, like, leave to go home, um, which will be a question for, like, four hours from now, but, uh, yeah, is that okay? Okay, thanks, sorry, I feel like I've already taken you away from so much of your work, uh, thanks, sorry, yeah, it's past the who? I don't know, I have no idea who the sales team are, um, I feel like I saw IT, um, maybe, are you sure?

Okay, yeah, I'll follow you, oh, I'm sorry, lead the way, oh, wait, wait, wait, this actually is familiar, it's just down that hall there, isn't it? Oh, sweet, okay, that's actually not that hard, I can definitely find my way back, thank you, huh? What, what do you mean? Oh, god, is it really, is it really that bad? I know people treat public bathrooms like, well, um, shit, but, uh, oh, yeah, no, that's repulsive and unfortunate.

There is another one, I mean, yeah, I don't mind going out of the way if I can avoid a, uh, chemical waste zone, so to speak, yeah, please, keep going, I'll follow you, all right, oh, dang, it is, it's a lot more quiet back here, I can see what you mean, does, does anyone come back here? I feel like I haven't seen someone for, like, five minutes or something, well, I'll remember that for when I need a break, not that, you know, I'll do that often or anything, okay, I'm glad I'm not alone in that, not like a workaholic or anything, no, okay, thank god, um, huh, oh, yeah, sure, I use Reddit all the time, probably more than I should, honestly, it can be like, you know, a bit of an echo chamber at times or, to be honest, like, all the time, I mean, G-W-O, is my voice that familiar to you? You're not, yeah, you're not, like, taking me back here to fire me, are you? I mean, if you, oh, listen, I don't know what, what you heard or how much of a, oh, how much of me, I guess, you've listened to, but, please, look, it's, it's separate, okay, I, I was told this company values privacy, it doesn't, like, pry into what people do at home, they even punish it if you share things that your co-workers don't want you to, I, look, I haven't even logged into Reddit at work once, okay, I barely checked my phone, I've shown up on time every day, I, look, I, I get it, it's probably weird and, I, I don't know, it's probably, what, fucking creepy or something, right, makes you uncomfortable knowing what your co-worker does, I can go, like, I don't care, I can move through that, okay, it won't affect you, I leave that shit at home, it's just, it's just what I do and I, oh, boy, I need this job, please, I, I just started here and money is, what, what do you mean, it's not, what, you were just, oh, I get it, you were just being a slut, huh, oh, come on, no, come here, don't fucking walk away, look at me, you're just, what, what were you thinking, because I have a pretty good idea, asking if I've heard of GWA, it's not fucking subtle, it's not a clever little hint, it's not something everyone does, what I do is not something everyone does, no, no, no, no, no, no, you knew what you meant, you know exactly who I fucking am and what I do, don't you, for fuck's sake, of course you do, that's why you were stealing looks at me all morning long, Jesus Christ, I thought it was because I was new, asking way too many fucking questions, being too loud, maybe I was being too fucking loud, huh, loud enough for you to hear a voice you recognized, I bet you even recognize my fucking face, don't you, having the courage to ask if I know about GWA, you were 100 fucking percent sure you knew who I was, you've probably seen me all the fucking time, all the time I post, oh my god, horny fucking gym pictures where I'm just a whore for attention, and that look on your face is just the goddamn icing on the cake, so here I am, congratulations, you found me, you found me, you worked your way until, well, until you literally have me alone in an abandoned corner, you clever girl, you, yeah, you.