Your Loser Boyfriend's Dad Wants You To Sleep in His Bedroom Tonight

Transcript

I didn't mean to startle you, I promise I'm not creeping or anything, I just assumed you were asleep by now so I was going to sneak by and grab a beer from the fridge, I know it's a bad habit to drink at night but it puts me right out like a light, old guy problems I guess. Did I wake you? Oh no, you were already awake? Yeah, I bet it's a little tough to sleep out here on the couch.

Sorry about that, honestly. I know you've been with the sun for a while, but, well, I hate to sound like my dad, but my house, my rules, I'm a bit old fashioned. I am kind of surprised that he made you sleep out here though, I swear.

I mean, look, he's my kid, but, he's a bit of an adult sometimes, like, come on, be a gentleman. I wouldn't say that to his face though, you know I try to be encouraging, positive, I don't know. I don't think tough love really works, but, I don't know, maybe I should have suggested that he sleep on the couch and give you the bed.

Hell, maybe I should get over and just let you guys sleep in the same room. I mean, you probably do that all the time anyway, right? Oh, no you don't.

Come on now. I'm older, but that doesn't make me naive. I remember when I was your age.

It wasn't so long ago, really. I know, you think every person born in the 70s is just clueless, right? Shit, I was the same way when I was your age.

Hell, maybe you're even right. Maybe your parents are clueless. It's kind of funny, when I talk to my friends, my co-workers, people my age with kids, it's like they forgot about the shit they were doing when they were younger.

I mean, hell, we were all doing drugs, we were all sleeping around, and that was back in the 90s when there was like a legit AIDS scare going around. Didn't matter, just used protection. But, I talk to these other people and they're all certain their kids are angels, they're smarter now, they wouldn't be having sex, they wouldn't do drugs.

Oh, fucking idiots. Oh, listen to me. I sound like I'm trying to be the cool dad, right? Hey, I understand you're a generation baby.

Oh, fuck. I've become a stereotype. Single dilf, trying to relate to the young woman.

Fuck. Look at me. I can't believe what I'm doing.

But hey, look, I'm rambling. You're trying to sleep on that uncomfortable sofa. Sorry about it.

Yeah, I just, I just want to say, you know, whatever you guys get up to when you're not here is fine. And I know it should be more flexible, but, well, I just, I don't know. I just don't want to enable you, I guess.

I know that's the wrong word. Anyway, my parents had the same rules, you know. Maybe I just inherited them.

You know what, though? You shouldn't sleep out here. Come on, you can have my bed.

I wish I had a guest bedroom to offer you. But my bed will do. I can sleep out here.

Hell, I can sleep over there in the recliner. I fall asleep in it half the time anyway. Just sitting there watching fucking Scorsese movies from back in the day.

You know, typical old guy things to do. Look, I insist. I will not take no for an answer.

I haven't even turned down the sheets tonight. Hey, you know what? We can even put clean sheets on the bed.

I've got plenty in the closet. I know you probably think like, single dad, bachelor, slob. But no, I'm pretty fastidious about changing the sheets and stuff.

So come on. Come on, I said. Don't make me get stern with you.

I don't want to act like your daddy. Come on, grab the pillow. Grab that blanket.

Just come with me right down the hall. There we go. Look, see? The bed spreads up and everything.

I promise I'm not being put out. I can just go back into the living room, put on the TV, watch a movie. Maybe, um, maybe be dazed and confused.

I've seen so many times I can fall asleep easily to it. And you can just, you know, sleep in your big comfy bed. It's fucking winter.

It'll be much warmer, much more comfortable. Let me just grab some sheets for you. No, you don't want me to grab sheets.

You are, you're way too polite. I'm not sure if my son deserves you. Oh shit, there I go again, putting him down.

I shouldn't do that. It's just, well, you're a little out of his league. Don't tell him I said that, okay? It's just, what I mean, I mean, I don't know.

You seem to have your shit together. Okay, of course, yeah, I know nobody has their shit together. But, you know, you've got a good head on your shoulders.

And, um, well, he tries, he tries to be the right kind of guy. I'm just not sure he's figured it out yet. And also, I mean, you're very attractive.

I mean that in a perfectly wholesome, um, what do you want to call it, like objective kind of way. You just, you're very attractive. Although, I guess, I mean, he does kind of look like me.

Younger version. So, I can understand an attractive woman being into him. I certainly still get my share of eyes from the ladies.

Not so much once you're age anymore, but every now and then I think, I don't know what it is, daddy issues or something. I catch someone looking. Reminds me of when I was younger.

Oh, you can understand what they look? Yeah? Well, thank you.

That's a very nice compliment. I didn't expect that. I mean, you're kind of a shy girl, aren't you? Don't take that the wrong way.

I mean, I like shy. To me, shyness is, you know, a sign of intelligence. People who talk the loudest are the ones who have absolutely nothing to say or just don't have the sense to keep the fucking mouth shut.

No, I like, I like shy. That's smart. Shy, attractive.

Good head on your shoulders. Looking, well, a little bit sexy in that nightdress. I'm sorry I'm making this awkward.

I don't want to put you out like that. It's just, yeah, it's hard not to notice it. Is that, um, looks a little silky.

Those thin straps. Must be a nice treat for my son to sleep next to you wearing something like that. You must, um, well, must drive him wild.

What? You're not sure? I find that hard to believe.

I mean, he is my son. I'm sure he's got a very high sex drive. We share the same DNA.

Oh, you feel neglected sometimes? Neglected because he's playing video games too much. Well, fuck.

Honestly, I thought, you know, a woman your age, you were probably playing video games too. Isn't it a everybody does it now sort of thing? They didn't have gamer girls back when I was your age.

Hell, I don't know if I would have been into it. I guess so, but no, it was just kind of a boys thing. I mean, not being a boy, I outgrew that shit pretty quick.

I was more into man things. Collecting records, drinking scotch, talking about movies, you know, I don't know. All the things, you know, kind of a certain intellectual type of hipster doofus thought he should be doing in his 20s.

That was me. I guess it's still me, even though I should have outgrown it. Look at me, sounding wistful, longing for my glory days.

Checking out a girl who's 20 years younger than me. But you are something. You know, no, it's wrong.

I'm just going to suggest, you know, this is a pretty big king bed. We can both sleep in it together. Oh shit, I made you uncomfortable now, didn't I? I'm sorry, sweetheart.

I shouldn't have said that. It's just, you know, it's a big bed. You know, I'm just teasing.

This is just a joke. I'm going to go out to the recliner. Um, oh, you wouldn't mind? I mean, it is a big bed.

I'm glad you think that way. It's not like I would snuggle up close to you. You probably wouldn't even like a guy my age getting close to you.

Like, if I were to step towards you right now, I'd probably make you feel a little awkward, right? Yeah. What about a little excited, though? Yeah.

I can't believe there's anyone on the earth, much less someone associated with me, related to me, who's not going crazy just standing next to you. Can I tell you something, sweetheart? I've been checking you out, kind of low key, since you walked in the door.

Oh, you noticed? Did you think it was just in your mind? Because it wasn't.

I was definitely looking. Can I tell you another secret? Honestly, I was a little jealous of my son.

I mean, I didn't mean to fuck you. Oh, what? What's that look on your face? Am I too blunt? Am I making you uncomfortable? Well then, should I not tell you that after seeing you in this little nightdress, this so cute little nightdress, the way it's kind of hugging your tits, showing off those legs, that there's no way I'm going to get to sleep without jerking off.

How does that make you feel? You like it a little bit, don't you? I can see it in your eyes, sweetheart.

You like being objectified. You like the idea of an older man stroking his fat cock to you. Mmm, it is a fat cock, too.

Look, look at me in these sweatpants. You can see the outline of it growing. Do you like what you see? Come on, you don't have to be nervous.

We're here in my bedroom. We're both adults. Whatever happens can be our secret.

Nobody has to know. Why don't you just come a little bit closer? Just, that's it, be a good girl.

Mmm, that's it. That's nice, sweetheart. Mmm, that's it.

Why don't you lean that body into me? That nice young body. Oh, man.

Have you ever been kissed like this? By an older man? By a grown-ass man? Have you ever had hands on your hips, holding you just right, firm but gentle? I bet you're feeling just a little bit guilty, right? Well, stop that.

Just turn your mind off. Just let me do the thinking for both of us. We both know you came to this bedroom for a reason.

No, you weren't expecting to just sleep in here and me go out, sit in the fucking recliner, watch TV. You were hoping something like this would happen. Oh, no, no, don't deny it.

Don't get nervous now. Don't worry. It'll be our secret.

You poor, neglected thing. Your body needs this. Mmm, at your age, you're probably horny all the fucking time.

You need a man who wants to take advantage of that. A man who wants to use you. Who wants to make you feel good.

Who wants to ruin that nice young pussy. Come on. Let me just slip these little straps off your shoulder.

Oh, look at that. It slipped right to the floor. Don't be bashful, standing here in nothing but your panties and the lights on and everything.

There's no need to be shy. God, you are perfect. No, no, no, don't try to cover up those tits.

I love them. Oh, I just want to take those nipples. You like that, darling? You like my lips on your nipples? If I cup your ass while I do it, I'll pull you closer.

Mmm, come closer. That's it. That's a good girl.

Go ahead and wimp her. Mmm, we're the only ones on this floor. Your voice is going to carry you upstairs.

Don't be shy. Mmm, God, you are a sexy thing. Mmm, shh, don't think, darling.

Just let it happen. Come on. Sit down right there on the edge of the bed.

That's it. Spread those legs. I'm just going to push these very wet panties to the side.

Oh, there it is. Look at that sweet fucking pussy. Mmm, just waiting for my tongue.

God, I bet you've never been properly devoured by an older man. Mmm, you need it. You need me to just.

.. Yeah. Does that feel good, baby? Mmm, that's okay.

You can moan all you want. I like it. Go ahead and run your fingers through my hair.

Mmm, you like my sexy gray hair? Ever been eaten out by a silver fox? Mmm, you're delicious.

That's it. Grind your mouth at my face. Mmm, don't be shy.

Oh, yeah. That's a good girl. Mmm, you're a needy little slut, and I love it.

Oh, that's it. Keep going. Keep going, baby.

Mmm, yeah. Mmm, oh, oh, yeah. Mmm, oh, oh.

Should I make you come with just my tongue? Mmm, you're so close already. You poor neglected thing.

Mmm, mmm. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Go on. Grind against my face. That's it.

Be a good girl. Mmm. Mmm, oh, oh, you're fucking delicious.

Mmm, you needed this. Mmm, I can tell you needed it. Mmm, come on.

Come on. Come on. Oh, oh, I want you to come.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah. I want you to come for me. Mmm, mmm.

Oh, oh, come on. Come on. Come on.

Oh, oh, yeah. Mmm. Mmm, that's a good girl.

Oh. Mmm, come on. Kiss me.

That's it. Taste yourself on me. Oh, God, you're, you're fucking naughty.

Oh, getting that sweet pussy eating out with your boyfriend, my son, sound asleep upstairs. Who knows? He's probably got his headset on playing fucking video games.