Your Grumpy Boyfriend Wants You to Sleep with Him

Transcript

What is taking her so long? She's not even gonna be here in a few minutes. What is taking her so long? Are you coming to bed? Well, what's taking so long? Yeah, that's what you said earlier.

But like, I had time to brush my teeth, go to the bathroom, change. I've been laying in bed for like 20 minutes. Are you coming to bed or not? Well, what are you doing? Like, what's taking so long? Can't you do that in bed? I don't care.

Like, that's why we have a lamp by the bed. See, you can use it as a nightlight. But even without that, you can just turn on the bedroom lights.

Like, I don't care. I just want you in bed with me. Stop.

That's. .. Like, I just sleep better when you're around.

Like, I'm not a whiner. I'm not a baby. I'm not needy.

I just like it more when you're in bed with me. What? Stop.

You're so annoying. Yeah, yeah. It's harder to sleep when you're not there, okay? Is that what you want to hear? Is that what's going to get you in bed? Like, just come to bed.

I don't want to play all these games. I just want to sleep with you. But when is soon? Like, you've been saying soon all night.

Is soon going to come? Is soon actually soon? Well, how much is left? Can you just come to bed? I did.

I doubt that I forgot. I always say please. Because I already did.

Ugh. Can you please come to bed? Well, I'd listen to you more if you listened to me when I said come to bed.

Fine then. I'm just laying here. But if I fall asleep on your lap, you're going to have a terrible time getting me to bed.

And you know I'm going to be in the worst mood. Are you sure you want to stay out here? It's not blackmail.

I'm just telling you what's going to happen. I'm just telling you so you know. It's like a warning.

It's a nice thing to do. I don't really care about it. I wouldn't be distracting you in bed.

I'd be sleeping! I'd be fully asleep. So if you don't want to be distracted, I think you know exactly how to solve this problem.

It's not funny! Why would you kick me off your lap? Fine.

I'll just lay here quietly. What? What? What? Well, I don't know how you expect me to get comfortable on this couch.

It's not long enough for me. Sure you did. You asked me to come out when you didn't come to bed.

When you said you would come soon. You're the one who set this into motion. By not doing the simple, easy thing of coming to bed.

Why are you being annoying? Because I want to sleep with you? Wow.

God forbid your boyfriend wants to sleep with you. How is that a problem? You're always complaining about how we don't spend enough time together.

And your friends are complaining that their boyfriends don't spend enough time with them. And here I am, just trying to sleep with my girlfriend, and I'm the bad guy. Yeah, that's kind of what she said.

She said it's my fault. Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I don't actually want to make you upset. I just want to cuddle with you.

I really do sleep better when I get to wrap my arms around you. And give you little kisses. And kiss your neck.

And lick your ear. I know you love when I lick your ear. Besides, you really can leave the light on.

I honestly don't mind. And you can finish in bed. Or.

.. I can pull you in really tight. And we can go under the covers.

And I can run my hands all over you. And I know you'll love when I run my hands all over you. All over you.

Your thighs. Between your thighs. What do you say? Want to come to bed with me? Cuddle up.

Don't touch you anywhere you want. Make sure you feel really good. Then you can wake up early and get your stuff finished then.

Come on, baby. Be a good girl for me. It's not that bad a deal.

You can wake me up too if you want, but. .. You know I'll be in a terrible mood.

I'm not sure that's something you'll want to deal with. But it's an option if you want. I only get a little mad at you.

But I really will make you feel super good before you go to sleep. Okay? Then I'll probably fall asleep around you and.

.. You'll be stuck in my arms for the night. And you don't mind.

You like feeling small in my arms, don't you? Come on. Come to bed with me.

Come on. Even if you're groaning now. ..

I know you're excited. Thank you, baby. I really do sleep better when you're there.

Let's go to bed. Good night. I love you.