Your girlfriend is a witch in training and accidentally gives you a love potion (aphrodisiac) - ooops-a-daisy

Transcript

Okay, so, a box of severed tongs, but that seems, seems right, that seems plausible. Um, and then a little bit of this, and a bit of bat whiskers. Oh shoot! Honey, hand me the, the, um, uh, frog fistle? Fistle? Finger? Oh, I don't know what it is.

I think that's what it says. It's behind the book. No, not that one, the other book.

The big black one. Yeah, that's it. Probably.

Thank you. Um, so, I need your opinion on something. I wanted to go through my cackles.

You know, my witch cackle? Um, because, like, the witches all have their own cackles and stuff. Um, well, I just wanted to run through with you some ideas.

So, Beatrice, one of the witches, um, she's gone for, like, the typical, heh heh heh. You know, those kind of, like, heh heh heh. Like, the typical, traditional witch laugh.

But I was thinking about something a bit more unconventional. What about, heh heh heh. Or like a low, huh huh huh.

Or like, like a vocal range, heh heh, huh huh. What do you think? Or I could go, like, maybe, heh heh heh.

Like, I think scary movies. Think I'm in the house, heh heh heh. Or like, heh heh heh.

Like, something different. Something that sets me aside from all the other witches. Well, just picture this.

Are you picturing? I'm on a broom. I've got my broom license.

I'm a certified witch, and I've just stole, or I've done some witchy stuff, whatever witches do, in the sky. You know, typical hocus pocus, malarkey, tomfoolery, baloney stuff. Like, I've stole candy, or I've done something evil, evilly.

And they go, look, what's that in the sky? It's blossom. And then picture, like, a full moon.

And then I'm there, and I cackle. Well, what is my cackle? You know, it's a, huh huh huh.

And then it sounded a bit like, sounds like, no, maybe not that. Or like, I don't want to go, heh heh heh. Like, I don't want to do that.

That sounds so traditional. It's boring. They'd be like, who's that? Is it blossom, or is it the witch from The Wizard of Oz? No one knows.

You know, or like, I could do an array of local, like, hee-hoo. I can't, wait, no, that sounds terrible. Um, I like, hee hee hee, ha ha ha ha ha, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo.

I can't, no, I can't use my normal laugh, because it's not evil. It's not witchy enough. And Wazowski's School of Witchery is, like, the best of the best, okay? So, if you heard me in the sky, like, hee hee hee hee, giggling, that's not, you're not going to get a witchy virus from that.

You're going to be like, oh, it's blossom. Is she going down to the local Morrison's? No, you're not going to get the witchy, like, you know, think theatrical, think big.

Like, what about this? Okay, I'm in the sky. Okay, I've just, I've got my broom license, I've made it.

Like, what about, ha ha ha ha ha, what about that? That sounded a bit evil. What do you think? More emotion? Okay.

Okay, so I've just done something positively evil. Okay. What is the evilest thing I've ever done? I stole a pencil once.

Okay. And I felt really bad. Okay, but witches don't feel bad, so channel that emotion.

Feel it in the stomach. Ha ha ha ha ha ha, hee hee hee hee hee. What do you, hee hee hee hee, what do you think of that? Work on it? Okay, I'll work on it more.

Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee. Okay, ha ha ha ha ha. Alright, maybe, maybe let's pause the laughter.

Let's pause the laughter for a minute, for Jesus Christ. Okay. The instructions are saying to add a pinch of furry tears.

I don't know what a pinch is, okay. So, it's one pinch. So how much is a pinch? Can't they like, I don't know, use metric or something? Is that a pinch? Do you think, babe? Oh, come on, a pinch of the frog fistle, or fissle, or finger.

Are you even listening to me? This is important. This is my third try to get this potion right.

I could, could be potentially flunking out of school. And I'm almost out of frogs. Well, I have to test it on, on someone.

And, and, and, and anyway the frogs like magic. Or they did before the potion accident. We'll be fine, won't you baby? Yeah.

Oh, you're so cute with your little witch hat. Just don't mention Theodore's Peterson the third's siblings. You know, in front of him.

It's a, it's a very sensitive subject, so we'll use TP as initials. Well, you see, the first potion turned TP invisible. And, well, yeah, it was supposed to turn him pink.

And he, he hopped away. And I couldn't find him. Because, you know, he's invisible.

And then he was just gone. And I called him. But if he came back, I, I didn't see him.

Some dragon's eyes, okay. And a dash of diarrhea. Oh wait.

Oh wait, not that one. That's for another potion. That would have been disastrous.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck, I hope I didn't step on him. TP the second? Um, yeah, you probably don't want to know.

It wasn't pretty. I shouldn't laugh. So, well, gosh.

You're, it's embarrassing. What I'm about to tell you is classified information. You can't tell anyone, okay.

So, he was supposed to levitate. It was a levitation. Like, you know, like flying.

Yeah, a flying potion. Or it was supposed to be. But I, um, I maybe used too much, didn't he, of crate or something.

I think that's what, I think, I think that's the one, right. Anyway, he was the best frog to make it to space without a ship. So, he went out in a blaze of glory.

But no one knows, okay, about that. I don't want you to, like, it's not funny. Poor TP.

Like, I mean, I put a tracker on him, like a little GPS. And, like, from time to time, when I'm, like, at Wazowski's School of Witchery, when the other girls are, like, you know, the other witches, I should say, are, like, you know, laughing at me because my dress is too, like, short or my hat is, like, like, flops to the side, you know. Or, like, that one time I turned myself into a bunny but it was by accident.

You know, sometimes I just, like, I like to just, you know, track it on my app, like Google Maps or something, which, you know, I just, like, I want to see what he's up to. I mean, he's okay. Like, he's just in space doing his own thing and, yeah.

Like, I don't, let's not scare Theodore Peterson the third. I'm sure this one is going to go great. Third time's a charm, they say.

It's okay, Theo. Mommy wouldn't hurt you. Frogs, I don't know.

Everyone wanted, like, lizards or little dragons. I just, like, I like frogs and toads. I don't know.

He's just so cute. Look at his little hat. I made it him.

He's so cute. He's my little baby. But let's not get sidetracked.

Here, hand me that mug. Well, I need a place to put the potion where it will cool down before I feed it him. No, I don't want him to burn his little mouth.

Now, where did I put that dropper? It was just here a minute ago. Like, I swear I had it right next to me.

Fuck. I hope I've not lost it again. Dropper, dropper, dropper, dropper, dropper, where? Ah, bow.

Where did you go? Oh, no, Theo. Oh, Theodore Peterson the third, don't hop away.

Come here, you little. Mommy has a fun drink for you. Come on.

Come here, little baby. Oh, shoot. Ow, my foot.

Oh, God. Come here, you. Damn.

Damn it. He escaped. Again.

I need to test this before I turn it in or. .. I don't know.

I'll probably flunk out. Witchcraft is so hard. They never mention that.

You, try it. Did you not just hear about Theodore Peterson the second? Babe, that's crazy.

Let's be honest. I'm not good at this. Like, at all.

Maybe I should have gone into nursing like my stepdad. I mean, I cannot. ..

Hey! Are you crazy? Babe, you did not just drink that.

Tell me that was a different mug. Please. Please tell me you didn't drink my poison.

I mean, potion. Shoot. You idiot.

You scared the fuck out of me. Wait. Which mug was it? Oh, babe.

Seriously? Okay. Don't panic.

But that was also a potion. Let me just remember which one it was. Well, I think it was supposed to be a love potion.

But it didn't work. Of course. Well, maybe we should monitor you for like 24 hours.

Make sure you don't explode or something. How do you feel? Are you.

.. Okay. Okay, okay.

Wow. I see that you like the potion. Oh, fuck.

Baby, baby. That's nice. Especially your hands.

But wait, wait. Are you sure you're okay? Because you aren't normally this.

.. Aggressive. That feels good.

Jesus. Is that your cock? You're so hot.

It's so much hotter. I'm more than usual. Oh, my God.

What the. .. What the heck? Did you just throw me on the bed? It's kind of.

.. Oh, fuck. Let me just take these.

Baby. Holy fuck. Look at your cock.

It's leaking.