Your Flirty Boss Hypnotizes You

Transcript

Hello there, sweetheart. Working hard? No need to jump.

This is just a little surprise phone call from your boss. Last night's encounter notwithstanding, it's still my job to make sure you're working effectively. You are working effectively, aren't you? You might be my favorite subordinate, but you know I can see your cubicle from my office window, right?

Every widget, every tab you open on your browser. Seems like you're having some trouble focusing. It's alright.

I'm not calling you to scold you. I'm calling you so I can help you. That's what bosses do for their subordinates.

They help remove all those obstacles and distractions and help you do your absolute best. Does that sound about right? Good.

We're going to take a little ten minute break together. Oh, but not that kind of break. But if you do a good job today, maybe we'll have another one-on-one review session tonight.

But not right now. Right now, I need you to lean all the way back in your chair and close your eyes. Get comfortable.

It's okay. If the boss says relax, you can relax. Besides, we're getting ready to maximize your productivity.

So this is the best use of your time right now. I know what I'm talking about. So you're going to listen to me.

Comfortable? Good. Take a deep breath for me.

Inhale and hold it. Exhale slowly. Let it all out.

I want you to breathe slowly, deeply. Feel your chest rise and fall. I want you to focus on how your body breathes and to take care of your breathing.

This is an important thing right now. And then, sometime, you're going to realize you completely forgot to focus on your breathing. That's how you know you've been entranced by my voice.

If this happens, you should feel good about getting into a trance. Just keep listening to my words and take another deep breath. There's no hurrying.

There's no worry. Just simple, automatic biological processes that your thinking mind is a small part of. You are right where you need to be.

You are in the correct location in space. You are in the correct location in time. You will complete all these tasks you need to complete.

You will work quickly and carefully. And I am going to hypnotize you to unlock your potential. I will carefully wash your brain, one layer of your mind at a time.

I will remove all of the fuzz and clutter as I take you deeper down. So that when I put you back together again, all of the pieces of your brain will work together smoothly. You will then be ready to be as productive as you possibly can.

All the thoughts that you don't need right now will be put away. All the tiredness and all the distractions will wash away as I carefully brainwash you. My voice is going to ooze into all of the wrinkles in your brain.

It's going to make it all so squeaky clean. I am very good at cleaning minds, no matter how dirty they might be. And you will find that every time your mind is cleaned, I can take you even deeper into trance than last time.

Each trance leaves your mind blank for longer and longer, and leaves you feeling better and better. All I need to do is turn your mind off. And then the deep clean can begin.

Now you can go deeper down, even deeper with me. Let us go then. You and I.

Let me take you on my morning commute. I wake up in my bed, feeling refreshed. The pillow is soft.

My body is relaxed. It feels good to stretch the muscles in my back, in my arms, my legs. My soft, warm, silky sheets feels good against my skin.

I wake up slowly, slowly with the sunrise glow coming through my window. And I know it's time. It is time for me to rise, to dress myself, to brush my hair, and to pay attention to small things.

Making sure my socks match, to consider how I carry myself, and consider what I want to accomplish. I take a moment to appreciate the feeling of full leather as I select my purse for the day. The train station is just outside of my house.

It's early, foggy. There's nobody on the train but me. I want you to sit next to me on the train.

The wheels go click, clack, click, clack. The carriage sways slightly from side to side. Your shoulder brushes against mine.

We are leaving our place of rest and going to our place of work. Both rest and work are important. Both are means of generation.

All things have their time. And now is the moment of transition. When we travel through the fog, we're prepared to accomplish all the things we set our minds to.

The wheels of the train go click, clack, click, clack. The train takes us to our temple of productivity. And at the end of the day, we will be able to return to our place of comfort.

To change back into our jammies and rest. Because we know the train will take us back. We can go to our temple of productivity without distress.

We are just as safe here as we are in a state of absolute comfort. As we get closer and closer, we can see the temple on the horizon, large in the fog. And it's beautiful.

Here is the place where all things are important and nothing is left undone. This place is waiting for us, humming, ready to help us be as productive as we know we can be. The wheels of the train go click, clack, click, clack.

And when they stop, we will be eager to begin. From my office window, I can see all of the worker drones, rolls and rolls of them. As far as the eye can see.

They're robots in a way. They do not get tired or distracted. Because each and one of them has an important job to do that only they can do.

Each of them is a worker. One of them has an important job to do that only they can do. Each one feels good about the contributions they make.

Every robot is perfect for the task set up before it. And every task has a robot. Except for one.

There is one robot missing. You. So I'm going to take you there now.

To the part of the temple of productivity that meets you now. I will make sure to sit you in your chair in a way that is most comfortable to you. And I will lean you all the way back.

Until you're looking directly at your ceiling. There's a spiral in your ceiling. It turns around and around and around and around.

And as you look carefully, it seems like it's almost changing direction. But so it goes around and around and around and around. Watch the spiral.

It is a sort of loading bar. As it spins and spins, it's downloading into your brain your instructions for today. And today is the day when you get to download a very special guardian program.

Anytime you want to look at your phone, your guardian program will gently help you put it away. That's not important right now. She sounds a little like me.

How nice is that? You're going to be okay.