Your Ex Is An A**hole

Transcript

He said what? I'm going to tase that fucker for hurting you. I know you really liked him.

Frankly, it was obvious to me that he's selfish, but you said it was just fun and I'm not going to interfere. It's your life. I love you, but it is your life.

Yeah, well, my face tells it all, I know. I've never been able to hide it, unfortunately. Why the hell would I be jealous? I've known you since we were four.

Again, tasered, babe, we all have to live with our choices and hopefully learn from them. I do exactly. Yeah, exactly.

I've made my fair share of choices, desirable and undesirable. Yes, yes, yes, I know. Well, but you know I'm a good judge of character and he gave asshole vibes, heavy.

Hmm. I don't mind an asshole, but don't try to disguise it with sweet nothings and gifts. That shit is so played.

Yeah, you're right. You're right. Hmm.

I'm sorry he said those things to you. Got my bestie feeling away. You know they're not true, right? Give me a hug.

I'm definitely going to fuck him up for mistreating you. Well, you shouldn't have told me if you didn't want me to do anything about it, because I'm definitely going to do something about it. Well, that's what retainers are for.

Yeah. Hmm. But for now, enjoy your favorite tea.

The water's ready. And if you want, I can run you your bath. I know that's why you really came here.

I know how much you love my soaking tub. Yeah. Okay, I'll get you sorted.

You got the tea? Okay. Of course, honey, you're welcome.

Your bath is ready when you are. Go ahead and enjoy. I'll check on you in a bit after I figure out what we're going to eat.

Yes, we're going to binge New Girl. It's our favorite. Don't you worry.

Food just arrived. How's it going in there? What? Oh, yeah.

What's up? Hon, you're crying. Oh, fuck.

Um, get in the tub. Yeah, yeah. Of course.

Wait, let me just get these clothes off. Shit. Okay.

Okay. Oh, babe. Do you want to talk or do you want to cry in my arms? Oh, you're getting in my arms.

I'm not just going to sit here and watch you cry. Come here. Yeah.

That's it. Let it out. I got you.

It's all right. You can cry. What's going on? Babe, your weight doesn't matter.

You're beautiful at every size, and I know it may not feel like it, but these fluctuations happen, especially when you're stressed from work and dealing with all this shit with your family. You're beautiful at every size. That's definitely compounding your response.

Yeah. Yeah, I got you. I'm so glad you came over so I can take care of you.

Of course, of course. I know it's hard dealing with these changes. It's valid to feel this way.

You don't need to be some fucking ideal version of you for your family, for your job, and you definitely don't need to be some random asshole's ideal. You just need to be. And who you are, as you are, is pretty fucking amazing.

Yeah, I would know. I have great taste, and you're my best friend. There we go.

There's that smile. Yeah. This is nice.

Like old times. I don't think we've shared a bath since we were fucking six. Here, let me massage your shoulders.

Damn, you're so tense. Breathe, okay? Just breathe.

I'm right here. I meant what I said. You're fucking beautiful.

You're brilliant. And I love you. Um, sweetheart, are you cold? Well, your nipples are rock hard, and you're squeezing your thighs together.

It's okay, tell me. You've always been a princess who loves praise. Oh, well I meant it.

What? Um, I don't, I don't know. You're pretty vulnerable right now.

Of course, of course, we trust each other. That's why I'm thinking about your needs. I don't know.

No, no, no, lay back. I'm not rejecting you. Relax.

Fuck. This is what you want? Yes, fuck yes.

I mean, yeah, I want you too. I just, I would never want to jeopardize our relationship. You're my fucking best friend.

We've been besties all our lives. Obviously, I came out to you first about being bisexual back in uni. You never.

.. Oh, yeah, I get that, I get that. Are you sure? Of course, of course, you can explore with me.

You're safe with me. You're always safe with me. Lay back.

And breathe. Yeah. Let me stroke your arms.

The water's nice and warm, yeah? That's it, relax into me. That feel good? Good.

Yeah, that's it, beautiful. Are you comfortable? Good.

We're gonna take this slow, okay? Okay. I'm gonna kiss your neck.

While you touch yourself. You want my hand? Not yet.

Patience, princess. You like that? You smell good? You smell like vanilla.

That's it. I wanna see you please yourself. Will you do that for me? I wanna kiss your neck.

Good girl. Now pinch those tight nipples. Listen to that murmur.

Do it harder. Honey, you sound divine. You like when I suck on your neck like this? You like that? Yeah, pinch them harder.

Keep your legs open. I wanna see that pretty pussy. Yes, you back so pretty.

You can play with your pussy. Thank you for asking, honey. Take your time trailing your hands down.

I'm gonna bite on this neck. Oh, is that sensitive? Is that how you like to play with your claw? Yeah? So good.

I need to know for when I suck your pussy. You like the thought of your sweet cunt in my mouth? Your juice is all over my face.

Keep playing. Yeah? So soon? No, I don't think so.

You're gonna hold that cunt for me until I'm buried between your legs. Too much? No, I'm just getting started.

Sit up. I'm just getting started with you. Let's go to the bedroom.

Get up. Be careful. Take your time.

I need to see you spread out and writhing for me. Do you want that? Look at that ass jiggle.

You look so beautiful, honey. Get on the bed. That's it.

Spread out. Yeah. You're so fucking sexy and soft.

I'm gonna kiss every inch of you. Is that okay? I need to hear you.

Good girl. You're so beautiful, you know that? Your skin tastes so fucking good.

Let me taste these beautiful tits. These nipples. They feel so good in my hands.

So good on my lips. I'm just gonna lick on her then. You like that? Yeah.

Yeah, you can play in my hair. Fuck. Let me kiss your stomach.

Is it ticklish? Good. I want you laughing and feeling good.

These thighs. I love these thighs. It feels so fucking good.

You smell good, too. Kiss the backs of these knees. No one's ever done this as a.

.. Yeah. It's so good for me.

I'm gonna bite, okay? Yeah, you like that? Okay.

Let me come up to this pretty pussy. Kiss these inner thighs. Look at me, honey.

I want you to see who's worshiping you. And giving you all this pleasure. I know you better than anyone.

And I know this body. Let me take care of this pussy. Eyes on me.

You're so wet. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm. You like when I suck on your cut like this? How's my tongue feel? Words, not moans.

Does it feel good when I lick you like this? Yeah? It makes you want to come? Yeah? So desperate.

I need you to hold it for me, sweetness. You taste too good. I haven't had my fill.

Hold my hand. Let me give you these fingers. Keep your legs open.

Good girl. You're so good.