You Turn Me Into Your Personal Cheerleader

Transcript

Oh my goodness no not again no I I won that round and that was bullshit and you knew it you know you did you did and you think you're so smart now but you're not you're not you had me beat in those other five rounds okay I will accept defeat but that round that round was mine and you know it Nintendo knows it my two eyes my eyes know it it was only because I fell off the stadium and princess peach didn't even want to get back on because I'm sure that they they um they moved the stadium like three inches up I'm sure they did it it was not it was not that it was not that high before no no no I know I got way more hits in than you I this is just bullshit I will do a powerpoint presentation step by step on why I think you and Nintendo are in cahoots and conspiring against me I am not a solo loser um no no no no I I think we should play another another round I really think we should we should do that and I will prove to you that my skills are good I will use reverse psychology on you now I don't know why I'm announcing that but but I will you see maybe I want you to think that you beat me so then I can surprise attack you so really I'm reverse psychology psychologying you but it's a word now okay it's a word now it is now because I said it so it's a word maybe I want you to think that I'm rubbish and absolutely horrid at this game but I'm really not so I want you to think that you're gonna win but really I'm gonna win so that's like reverse psychology I'm sure that is I'm sure that's what it is possibly I don't know yeah the moral of the story is you're going to lose and I will I will even bet you that you lose those five counts five counts those five rounds don't count you're getting me so annoyed now I'm you frustrate me you're doing my nutting stop looking at me because I am I am not blushing okay I'm just it's very hot in this in this room and you're you're very close to me so your heat is like you know is um is is traveling on to me yeah I've brought my cheer outfit you know that because I've just come from cheer I rushed over here from cheer practice um what do I want if I win uh I just want the satisfaction and gratification of knowing that I've wiped that smug smile off your face and that you got beat by a girl and that would make me that would make me really happy actually okay enough chit chat you you're stalling for time now this is like this is serious I'm adjusting my glasses okay okay right um why are you laughing of course I'm gonna go with princess peach again you know I don't want you thinking even though I basically blamed my failure on her that I have a plan okay you don't you don't need to know the ins and outs of why I've chosen the same character okay good okay I'm gonna win I am I am confident this time I've have you know I've been practicing for this I feel like I was destined to beat you this time do you not see my spinny kicks like no you can't compete I'm not being childish I'm just saying that you're gonna you're gonna lose just accept accept the defeat let me win let me win give in to temptation let me win um yeah I've been practicing all week and coach has been on my ass saying that there's more to life than proving someone wrong but she doesn't get it like it's my goal to prove you wrong that's that would make me so happy it does make me happy yeah um wait hang on peach get back on that podium peach I fucking swear to god get your ass back on that podium peach right just a technical I don't know what she's doing okay like she's in her own world right now and she's pissing me off peach I swear to fucking god get come on peach I will not play with you ever again that sounded wrong but I didn't mean it in that way I meant like I would never choose I would never choose a character again um peach no no no no no no no no wait wait wait let me get on let me get on the podium let me get on the podium please please um no no no no no please stop laughing it's not funny how is it going downhill so fast peach peach no no no no no no no no I will win this but come on come on peach don't do this to me don't do this to me please no no no no no no no no oh no oh no peach you little bitch oh my god no time out stop no I'm not having that that was an illegal move that you did why on earth would you power up as they get on the podium I'm so upset I can't oh my god are we joking oh oh no I'm not being a sore loser okay I'm just I need a minute to I want to cry I'm so upset okay all right then I guess congratulations is in order I'm not that much for sore loser although I'm never playing with peach ever again it's I feel like my whole life has been a lie that did not just happen fine I guess congratulations on your win oh did you not hear me I thought fine then I said congratulations on your win fine oh congratulations on your win I will do that stupid bet that you wanted even though you only won like by a default but like that we I won't stay I won't keep a grudge on that that part like you only won by default I mean what I'm never playing this game again with you okay well I'll go and get changed you wait here I guess okay I'm I've got the cheerleading outfit on and I've got my pom-poms what is it that you want like why am I being compelled to wear this you just said change into my cheer outfit so what is it that you want you want me to cheer for you do you like come to any of the games like I'm always cheering if you wanted me to cheer you just have to come to the game oh um a naughty cheer are you like 10 years old now like what um okay fine I get that you won and that's what you want but I can't think of anything like I don't know damn okay so a naughty cheer is what you want I hate your mind um I see London I see France I see blossoms underpants go team I you didn't specify that could be a cheer um I don't know what to tell you I'm this is a weird request can can you not just change it to anything else this is weird even for you okay okay no all right then I no I'm not being like I saw a loser I will fulfill your request anything else that you would like would you like me to grovel and kiss your shoe kiss your shoe like you're so weird be prepared because I will make you eat your words because I am not a loser well I'm not a sore loser I will do a dirty cheer and you will love it but this stays between us okay good um let me think all right then um ready okay you can cut more enthusiasm oh wait damn I didn't realize I was doing like a full-on like a cheers all right okay okay ready okay you can come cream pie me it's what I really need fill me up to bursting with your spirit sticky seed do you like my pom-poms please tell me that you do you can kiss them lick them or slide between them too give me an a give me a b give me a c give me some d lots of d more d please hmm that was so that was so embarrassing no all right I need a minute um just let me lay on the floor I regret all my life decisions it's anyway I um I did what you are you recorded no no that is not that was not part of any type of deal that we just made you can't you can't record that that that's embarrassing listen this is not funny I think you should give it back um why do you always bring my height into stuff I'll have you know I can reach five foot with the correct shoes so you calling me short I have muscles I will use them like do you want me to come over there and like use my muscles on you I will even use elbows that's how serious I am um this um you you may be taller than me but that's besides the point I will delete that now delete it or I'll come over here I'll come over there and I and I will I'll um I'll um I'll do I'll yeah I'll do something really bad yeah so I'll I'm coming over so stop laughing it's not for I have muscles don't ask what I'm doing can't you see I'm in my fighting stance I'm going to get that recording so you could give it me the easy way or you can give it me the hard way okay well then then you've chosen you've chosen death that's all I can say what am I gonna do do you not know that I am in perfect alignment meant to your never region and all I have to do is sonic the hedgehog frontal attack you and your balls are going into space does that are you not worried you should be my elbows they're up and they are my most deadliest weapon they yeah they are I could they could kill a man but that's why um that's why um that's why I just I I don't show them off because they could kill someone hey I'm like a whack-a-mole you will never see me coming where am I I'm over here now I'm over there now I'm over here now I'm over there listen stop open the thesaurus I don't even know if that's the right word open the dictionary and my face is in my face is in there for world domination no it is and I am not don't call me cute because I'm not cute I am evil like evil evil and I'm not small because people under five four four at the new seven four we we just found it up wind your neck in larry long arms you should never underestimate your opponent that's what they that's what they say and I'm sure that's a fight club rule along with alongside never talk about fight club but like that that's silly but hey and you're undermining undermining I I'm flabbergasted you are underestimating me and my height and you know you shouldn't do that because I could be I could be a trained assassin for all you know yeah I could or I could have trained in the wilderness or I could um I could be um what could I be I could be a tree maybe I'm normal size that's all you need to know and and what's wrong with being hypothetically if I was small I which I'm not I'm normal sized yeah but what's wrong with being small because I can get through I mean not me obviously but people can get through small spaces so really there's nothing wrong with being small and and and it's not my fault that that you know if you this ground is so uneven it's it's it's a bit unfair it's a bit uneven so I hate to not really like lined up yeah that's that's what I'm going with that's my um explanation of why I look small today maybe it's because my um I haven't had a strawberry milkshake or something I don't know okay I don't know why I I'm small today but I'm not small because I'm normal size.