❤️ 🧘 Yoga Instructor 🧘 ❤️ (F4M) (Instructor & Favourite Client) (Private Session) (Innocent Stretching to Passionate F*cking)

Transcript

Good evening, sleepyhead. What time do you call this? Oh, yeah, whatever.

You sure you just didn't forget? Oh, traffic, traffic, okay. Here, set up your mat.

Mmm. You okay? Yeah, I'm good, thank you.

Not too many clients. Classes went really well, and I am very much looking forward to my pad thai after this. Mmm.

With veggie spring rolls and a sweet sauce. Because I am a whore for Thai food. Okay.

Let's start with stretching out all the way up. Up, up, up, up. Is that as up as you can go? Come on, upy, upy, up.

Reach! You can do it. I believe in you.

Oh, he's so tall. And now let's turn and stretch out the sides. Three, two, one, and turn over.

Do the other side. So, any great plans after this? Oh, no.

Well, you can't go home. Well, you can't go home and have sad chicken. That's far too sad.

At least tell me you have some chocolate or something for after. So, you need to learn how to live. Sad chicken alone will not sustain you.

Speaking as a former sad chicken connoisseur, it is not good for the soul. Because if you spend every waking hour at work doing exercise and consuming sad chicken, one day you will wake up and think, what the actual fuck? No, I admire your enthusiasm for exercise, hence why I'm doing this one-on-one session for you.

However, I fear a man cannot live on yoga and sad chicken alone. I know. Now I tell you.

Now I tell you. Okay. Okay, we're gonna go down on the mat.

We're gonna go into downward dog and release all that tension in your back and your hips. I am enjoying it, thank you. Believe it or not, yoga instructors are people too.

I know, don't tell anyone. And hold. You feel it? Okay, and now we go flat onto the mat.

And just rest for ten seconds. In and out. There you go, lots of deep breaths.

And out. And in. No, that's good.

Sometimes it's important because for some people not naming names, it's the first time I've actually stopped in the day. I know, I wonder who I could be talking about. It's so cryptic, you'd never guess.

Okay, now we're gonna go flat on our back. We're just gonna lay there. Not putting any pressure on our legs or arms.

Just relaxing into the mat. And we're gonna do some more breaths. In and out.

In and out. And then I think I'm gonna watch House of the Dragon or Bridgerton. Have you watched Bridgerton? Oh, sir you do not know what you're missing.

I know, I know everyone's like, oh, it's for women and yes, predominantly it is. But you men could really benefit from some camp made up historical fluffiness. Oh, yes you could.

And now we're taking our arms, raising them above our head and stretch. Hold for five one, two three, four five and release. And now we're gonna take our left leg and raise it up.

Just go as far as you can go. Don't pressure yourself. Don't push.

Three, two one, raise. If it's burning, let it go a bit. Don't push.

And three, two one, release. You okay? I see everybody thinks it's the more complicated poses.

No it's the foundations. If you don't get the foundations, everything else will crumble. Okay, and we're taking the other leg and we're raising it up in three, two one, hold and we're releasing in three, two one.

Okay, take a breath and release. Anyway, watch Bridgerton. Because it's full of the good stuff that you're not getting.

This sad chicken and your excessive interest in yoga. Not mocking. Just saying you need balance.

Well, if you're not going to give it to yourself through food, give it to yourself through other senses. Eyes and ears, my friend. And now we're going to roll over in with our tummies on the mat and we're just going to rest there and stretch out our arms as far as we can.

Three, two, one, stretch and hold and relax. Uh, excuse me. I said I would give you a one-on-one session.

I said nothing about it being advanced. No, actually, it's quite the opposite. It's because I do like you.

Because someone's told me about their ridiculous fitness regime and as a fitness instructor, I feel it's my responsibility to say, whoa there. Slow down. And because I like you, I agreed to do the one-on-one session but I did not say what it would entail.

And what it's going to entail is relaxing. Because you and your sad chickenness need some downtime. And if you're not going to do it with food or even Bridgerton, you're going to do it here.

Because if you don't, you're going to come crashing down and burn out. And then where will I be? One client down and less pocket money for me.

Oh, it's all with self-interest. I'm kind but I'm not that kind. Yay.

Now we are going to rock our hips just gently. Gently, gently, gently. Just warming up.

Getting all the tension and all the clicks out of our hips. You can roll back and forth or you can sway to the side, whichever feels more comfortable. I like to do a mix.

Because these hips are clicky. I have absolutely no idea why. I don't know if it's because I move too much or it's just genetic, but these motherfuckers click.

And just do that until you feel that you've warmed up. Are you laughing at? You with the giggles.

What? Oh, I don't get sentimental. It's my job to care.

Well, if someone would look after themselves, maybe I wouldn't have to baby you. I really think what you're doing is admirable. You're channeling all of your energy into being the best version of you you can be.

But I am telling you this from past experience. The best version of you cannot keep this up. The best version of you looks after you.

So consider some chocolate cake and Bridgerton every now and again. Oh, I know. A mean and awful teacher telling you to have fun.

I don't know why you stay. And now we're going to roll onto our backs and bring our legs over our heads as far as we can. Again, do not push yourself, but just breathe through and go as far as you can.

One, two, three, and roll. Breathe, breathe, breathe. All of that tension go.

Feel the pressure in your back. Feel your hips expanding and your legs relaxing. Feel all the weight come down into the mats and leave your body.

Good. Good. Let's get full.

I don't mind. And breathe in. And out.

And slowly, slowly, slowly come back down and lay flat to the mat. And we're just going to rest here because I'm tired and so are you. Because I have eyes and I know what my body feels like.

Don't take it easy on you. Have you not been listening to my entire spiel? Someone needs to take it easy on you and if it's not going to be you, it's going to be me.

Oh, it couldn't possibly be that I'm a competent yoga instructor. It's got to be some other sinister reason. You need to work on that complex.

That whole, you think I can't do it, push me, test me, test me, test me. Because you're going to break yourself. And nobody wants that.

It should be least of all you but apparently it's least of all me. Because you're a good guy. You're just so determined to be the best.

Can I tell you something? It's overrated. Because what do you think will happen once you become the best? Speaking as the woman who wrecked both her ankles one summer because she couldn't bear to drop one class?

Only when you end up with nothing you'll end up with smashed ankles. Has no one ever told you to slow down before? I can see you looking at me like I'm speaking gibberish.

Tell you what. Let's make eye contact. Face me on your mat.

Come on. Well, yoga is therapy, so let's incorporate more of that, shall we? Cross your legs.

Look at me in the eyes. And take in this information. You're doing really, really well.

You just need to be nicer to yourself. Okay? Oh.

You okay? Then why did you just wince? You've hurt something in your back, haven't you? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Hang on. Let me have a look. I did not do this.

You laughed. Take responsibility for your own body, thank you. And also, it's not supposed to hurt when you laugh.

Isn't that a sign? Mister, I can keep going. I think it's just some tension in your shoulder.

You'll be okay. But take this as a sign. No, not to not laugh.

To. .. Ah.

You were very annoying, do you know that? Mm. Very.

I'm very pretty. Uh, get away with you. You're not having a free session.

Oh, I'm serious. Okay. Whatever, liar.

Stop being silly. You being all, oh, I'll freak you out by being nice to you and telling you that you're pretty. Oh.

Oh, now he's 100% sincere. Oh. You're a weirdo.

Me? Take that back, please. I'll have you know that a reviewer has just described me as fun, friendly, and informative.

Mm. So suck on that, weirdo. Okay.

I think we've got to stop for today. We don't want to break here, do we? Ah, here we go.

You'd like to see me try, would you? Ha-ha-ha. Sir, you don't even know what you're saying.

I could demolish you. Ha-ha. So do it.

Oh, you won't be saying that when you're flat on your back and in tears. Ha-ha-ha. Stop it.

But you might always tell me. I'm not doing it. Get out of my way.

Coward, is it? Oh, I see. Would a coward.

.. trip you up and bend you to the ground? And that does not victory is mine and you are demolished.

What are you smiling for? The plan worked. Oh.

We should probably, um. .. finish up and put everything away because this is, uh.

.. getting strange, isn't it? No.

You haven't made me uncomfortable, just, uh. .. I don't want to be inappropriate and, uh.

.. take advantage and. ..

Don't say please take advantage of me. Because we've been sweating with each other and touching each other and it's making it confusing and, uh. ..

Hi. Uh. ..

Okay. Now you're sitting up and, uh. ..

Hi. Uh. ..

Yes, I did say you. .. can't live on.

.. sad chicken alone. This isn't entirely what I meant, though.

Well, I meant, you know. .. try a cake or.

.. Oh, that's what you're trying to do. They must really fancy you because that was so corny.

Might need some work. Might need some work. On the other hand.

.. I think your physicality makes up for it. Hang on.

This wasn't the reason you came to my class.