Will You Let Me Release Our Frustrations Again? (SFW Version)

Transcript

You know, I think that server thinks that we're on a date… yeah. Putting us in the corner with this little table thing instead of, you know, out there in the main part of the restaurant. Sweet, but… oh honey.

So that was a total bust. Mhm. How'd you do? Did you meet any decent matches? Anybody? Ugh, me neither.

Seriously, why do we do these speed dating things? Yeah, okay, it was a bet and we lost and this was our punishment, but didn't the last one go so much better than this? Ugh, okay.

Anyway, so what did you end up with? Desperate. Clingy.

Yep. Annoying. Straight up? Well, that's a banner night for you.

Great. Well, I hope that's not the vibe I was giving off. Although, when you put on your profile that you enjoy sex, you become, you know, the town whore.

Apparently. Because every guy that sat in front of me, that's all they wanted. Well no, I didn't expect a whole lot different, but there are guys that can see past that, I would hope.

And it was an option on the form. These things aren't supposed to be just for hookups, are they? In fact, it said in the description thing that it's specifically trying to avoid just being for hookups.

Well, I assumed the sex thing was a compatibility thing, so it's important to me, right? But it's not the only thing. I mean, these guys honestly thought that they were, you know, doing something by sitting there telling me about their conquests.

Yeah. Ugh. I want something more than that.

I mean, yeah, I want the good part, but the good part has to come with something else, you know? They have to want me for me, just because I like sex doesn't mean I'm down for it all the time. Ugh.

Okay. This is gonna take some really good food and a lot of alcohol to just erase from my head. You in? Good.

I can't with this. What? There's an elephant? I wasn't aware there was an elephant in the room.

Oh, that. Okay. Yeah? Oh, you mean when I polished your knob at work.

Come on, I've been dying to say that. It's at least a little bit funny. Yes, it is.

You're just uptight right now, because apparently talking about this makes you uncomfortable. Not sure why. Yeah.

It was a great way to blow off steam from that night and to deal with the disappointment of that guy. Ugh. Yeah, well, his loss, your gain.

I mean, what is there to talk about? Why can't things just be that easy? That's what I'm looking for.

This whole evening was just a disappointment and thank you for reminding me that that one was too. It ended well. You want to make this one end well? Well, I'm assuming that's why you brought it up.

No? Okay, then why did you bring it up? Well, I didn't ever intend to talk about it again.

I needed to do that and you provided means for me to do that. And that was the end of it. We've hung out almost daily since and it's never been a thing.

Why are you making it a thing now? I assumed because the night was so frustrating and terrible, you were looking for an encore, which, yeah. No, it's not weird.

If I thought it was weird, I would have said something. I think we should blow off steam. No pun intended.

The same way now. Why would we go anywhere? This table is like choice and this place is pretty crowded.

Nobody's fucking paying attention over here in the corner. I'm just gonna get under the table. Yeah, the tablecloth is long.

Nobody's gonna see me. And again, nobody's fucking paying attention. Just chill.

Do you have your phone? Okay, do you have your earbuds? Yeah, okay, here, I'm gonna get mine out here.

Okay, got my phone. Here, put one of these in your ear. Yeah, just like that.

Perfect. Now, put that back. Okay, get your phone.

Turn your ringer off though, because this is gonna be obnoxious. Okay. All right, I'm going to call you.

Did you ring her off? Okay, I'm gonna call you. Okay, answer it.

Okay, good. There, now you can hear me, right? Okay, I'm going to get under the table, and then you can hear me through the phone, because you're not going to be able to hear me under there with the noise in here.

And I want you to hear how I'm taking care of our frustrations, okay? Okay, now I'm just gonna pretend to knock something off the table here. Oops, I better get that.

Okay, just give me a sec.