We Talk One Year After Breaking-Up, part 3 (Episode 3, Exes series - Moody Musician)

Transcript

As you listen to this audio role-play, I invite you to use headphones and imagine yourself as the main character of this story. Hey, hey, hey! So are you kinda tripping out like I am right now? Doesn't this feel like a time warp? Yeah, yeah, like the movies, when they time travel back to a point when life was still great? Yeah, yeah, before some tragedy or disaster hit and their whole world fell apart? Yeah, yeah, kinda like that.

No, no, no, it's okay. Actually, I think this is gonna be really good for us. It was a really, really good idea to come here tonight.

And I'm glad you chose this place for us to have this moment to come back and heal together. I know we've done our own work on each of our sides, but you're right, we haven't really processed this all together. Truly, this is probably the most calming and comforting and safe place you could have picked for us to do this.

Oh, I see, you just picked this place because of the great breakfast. Right. Alright then, should we go order our usual then? Yeah, yeah, I know.

I don't know if I can eat the way we used to either. Cool, yeah, why don't you order just one and we'll share. Oh, and maybe double the coffee we used to drink.

I don't know if I can stay up until the sun comes up like we used to either. I know, how quickly we suddenly get old. Yeah.

So, how have you been? Like, like really? Are you still in recovery? Yeah, I mean, yeah, no, I'm really glad to hear that.

Yeah, of course I worried about you. We agreed to no contact and I respected that, but I thought about you lots, all the time really, and I just really hoped you were okay and rehabilitating after all that shit we faced. Yeah, I know, I didn't doubt for one second that you were probably feeling the same about me.

Yeah, that was a lot of stuff to process, I won't deny it. But we had to do our breakup this way, right? Right.

Yeah, rip off the band-aid, go face our dragons. What was that? If we could time travel and go back to before all the trauma with your bandmates, and you and I could start over again from that point, would I want to?

Yeah, I mean, of course I would want to. I love you. I wanted this to work.

I'm always gonna love you. You completely changed my life, and for the better, even with how things ended. I am who I am now, and more confident in who I am now, because you were the first to truly champion me.

But the thing is, we can't go back in time, can we? We're not the same people we were back then. And if we're really being honest with ourselves, we both know that stuff with your band was just a catalyst.

We had problems way before they came along. Yeah, our family shit was gonna hit like a fucking tsunami whenever stressor came along. Totally right.

No, no, it wasn't ever really completely rosy, was it? Even though we like to pretend it was when we're feeling lonely. Yeah.

I mean, we adored each other, there's no question. And we've influenced each other in really profound ways. And your love healed me in significant ways, too.

But we also really hurt each other, didn't we? Oh, I know. We had so much conflicting emotional baggage.

And our ways of reacting to stress and trauma. So volatile. I'm sorry.

I know I've apologized before. But yeah. Right.

I know. We didn't know any better then. But now I think we do know better.

Yeah. Yeah, we've both learned some things and worked on some things. For sure.

I think we're much more aware of the dynamics between us and much more skilled at managing our own stress in healthier ways. But yeah, yeah, exactly. You're exactly right.

That knowledge came at a price. Yeah. Yeah, I agree.

I think that price was us. We had to sacrifice this relationship to learn those lessons. I'm so sorry.

I know. We didn't intend to hurt each other the way we did. But we did.

Yeah. And one's trust was gone. Yeah, that was it.

Yeah. Like a point of no return. We were never able to go back again from then.

I know. I know. I'm so sorry too.

Neither of us ever meant for things to turn out the way they did. Right. Yeah, I know.

Looking back on it now, it was kind of inevitable, wouldn't you say? Yeah, exactly. We were fucked from the get-go.

So where do we go from here? You know, now that we've established that you and I were star-crossed lovers, and our relationship was doomed all along, where do we go next? Yeah, right? There's got to be some parallel universe where Romeo and Juliet realize they can't be lovers, and then decide to just find a way to work through their shit and be platonic friends over their lifetime, instead of dying in each other's arms.

Right? I agree. Awesome.

Well, I'm glad I just gave you an idea for your next song. Again, we may need to talk about royalty fees. Nah, nah, I'm kidding.

It's okay. Just maybe make it a little less literally about us. Cool.

I mean, I'm all for you processing your feelings, all-stars. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But maybe make it about some animal characters or something.

Oh man, I can't wait to hear this song. It's gonna be killer. Hey, hey, holy shit, look! We made it to morning.

The sun's coming up. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'd love to sit here in the sand together with you, watching the sunrise in silence, processing all of this with a moment of reflection and mindfulness.

Yeah, I agree. I think we both really need this to be able to truly grieve and say goodbye to the old us. Yeah, yeah, and on a much kinder note.

I agree. Can I hug you? Hmm, yes, please.

I'd love for you to put your arm around me while we sit side-by-side. And can I hold your hand and put my head on your shoulder? Hmm, yeah, that's nice.

Thank you for this. I always knew our last bit of healing would be done together. I love you too.

Right, right, shh. Our spectacular morning sky show is starting.