Vixen Part 1 [M4F] [Enemies to Lovers] [Hero x Villain] [Spicy] [Flirting] [Light Comedy]
You are the villainess Vixen, known to be able to topple empires with a simple sway of your hips. People assume a lot about you, and you're largely happy to let them. It is a lonely life, though. No one to share your riches with, no one to share a glass of wine with, not even someone to watch memes with. The only company you usually get is in the form of heroes trying to stop you. They're fun, you suppose, but not much different from normal people. Ah well. You're sure the right person will come along eventually. Written by /u/ItsEsmeJones on Reddit
Transcript
Okay. Easy. You're a professional hero with over 11 certifications in information technology.
Sure. It's Vixen. Sure.
She's a Ranked Class VII. And. ..
alright. She has never been caught. Has a death toll in the thousand.
And once won a celebrity chef television series. But you've got this. All you have to do is use her own powers against her and.
.. Ah! Yes.
Hello, ma'am. Yeah. I'm the gentleman from the.
.. Turbo Nerd Brigade. I'm here to take a look at your computer.
May I come in? Pardon the intrusion. Hmm? Lemonade? Ah, no, no, no.
Thank you. I appreciate it, though. Oh.
This is the desktop here. Great. I'm just going to get my anti-static band on and.
.. We'll open her up. Oh, geez.
Okay. She's staring at you. Staring while in a robe.
And sipping lemonade with that coy little smile. Oh, shit. Focus, you idiot.
Hmm, let's see. You said it was making a whining sound when you try and turn it on? Uh-oh.
You already checked all the vents and made sure all dust has been cleared out. Huh. Oh, well, you're like already two or three steps.
Let me put in my little PCI card here to see what code it gives me. Hmm? Oh, you have one too, but it's broken.
Ah, that's a shame. They're quite handy. Tell you what, I think I have one spare in my truck.
I mean, it's yours if you like. Oh, she's smiling. It's not coy this time, too.
Ah, focus. Focus. Ah, it's no problem.
Really. Really, I always appreciate savvy end users who try to take the initiative. At least until they break their computers.
As long as it's not, you know, like, filled with roaches. Aw, awful. So, how did you learn so much about computers? Oh, you use a lot of sound and audio mixing equipment.
Huh, that's very cool. You must have quite the job, hmm? Yeah, sounds like a fun job.
I mean, I guess this is fun, too. It's pretty straightforward for the most part. I like solving problems.
Okay. Alright, easy. Just unseat her sound card.
It looks like some things weren't seated fully. I'm going to use a sound card I have with me to test. Is that okay? Righto.
And just need to put this in, and there we go. Right, now to start her up. And if you would just, like, log in for me, I'll look away.
Done? Right, thank you. Let's pull up a random song or video to give it a test.
Hmm. This song looks good. Okay.
Okay, okay, okay. This is it. Moment of truth.
This song should make her powers useless. Long enough that I can finally put an end to her tyranny. Just push play, and.
.. What? This isn't my song? This is just a club remix of.
.. I don't know. A club remix of.
.. I don't know. Oh, fuck! Oh no, she's swaying her hips! No! No! Come on, we're better than this, don't.
.. My name, uh. ..
Who I. .. Really.
.. Work for? Ma'am, please.
This is quite inappropriate. I'm just here to fix your computer. Not that you.
.. Not that you needed me to, apparently. What do you mean? What do I mean? You're so brilliant.
The only reason you didn't find a solution is that you doubted yourself. What is this telepathic tune you're playing? Sounds like fucking rave music.
I like it. Look, I know you're vixen. I was sent here to try and capture you peacefully.
I'm sorry I deceived you. Please, try and see my side here. You're on the world's most wanted list.
You're insanely difficult to overpower, and everyone in the shadows wants something to be done. They see you as this psychopathic bimbo that loves seducing people, showing off and accidentally causing a 70-mile conga line. They think you can't be reasoned with because you're some airheaded child, but they're wrong.
Of course I believe that. I mean, I already knew it before I came here, but this has just cemented for me. No one understands you.
I know that pain, so I. .. I guess I do have personal stakes in this in terms of, like, empathy.
I'm being sincere, though. I just wanted to bring you in peacefully. You don't deserve to be put down like an animal, no matter your name or their opinion of you.
Honest. Pardon? What do you do when an animal stretches in front of you? Um, you say, Ooh, big stretch.
Oh my god, that was the cutest. You do understand me. I've ever heard my life.
-watering second of every track.