Us Over Everything!

Transcript

I love you I don't want to be right I just want to be together I don't want things to change to the point where they can't be repaired. The communication it fell off and it seemed like we're both coasting and I don't understand how we got to this place in our relationship. Everything seemed so amazing and beautiful and I just don't know how we got here.

I'll do anything to get back to the old me. I remember the days we used to talk for hours and I used to hold you and we used to laugh joke used to cry my arms talking about our past and the future we wanted to build together. I never felt more safe in my entire life.

I fell in love with you right in my arm. You was telling me about all the different things you've been through and how you felt like I was the safest place and person that you ever met. It made me feel so good and made me feel so alive and I shared that feeling.

I felt like I didn't have to pretend with you. I felt like I can be myself and I knew you wasn't gonna judge me. I knew that you were still gonna love me even though I was imperfect and flawed and had these different things going on in my life.

But somewhere along the way we lost sight of that. Seems like everything got complicated. I don't want to fight no more.

I choose me and you over everything and anything that's coming in our way. I want us to overcome that together. This cannot be the end.

I don't know how to say goodbye. I do not want our connection to end baby. It hurts me when you pull away.

It hurts me when you don't communicate. It hurts me when I try to express my feelings to you and you feel like I'm attacking you. I just wish you could see inside my soul and in my heart and know how much I really loved and cared about you.

And then sometimes it's like I think you can see and you can feel how much I love you. And it's like you almost take it for granted like it's a forever thing. Like my love is unconditional and you can just play with my heart.

That you have these infinite amount of chances and I won't just realize that you're never gonna love me to the capacity that I deserve to be loved and I will never walk away. I don't want to love like this. I miss the times when we were happy.

I miss the times when things were healthy. I shouldn't have to chase you to love me. You shouldn't have to chase me to love you.

We should want to be with each other because that's what we desire. I think back to the beginning of the relationship when we used to go on dates all the time and you would cook for me and feed me and after we had our meals we'll lay up and talk for hours about the past or the future. I think those are the moments and the memories that I cherish the most of my lifetime.

I mean beyond the relationship it was just so beautiful, so transparent, so vulnerable. I never felt more connected to somebody in my life and sometimes I'm afraid that I'm chasing something. I'm chasing this memory of what we once had but never get again.

The excitement of the beginning of the relationship, that honeymoon phase. Sometimes I feel it so close that I can grab it but right when I try to grab it it just flees me. I did everything in my power to make this relationship work.

I did everything in me to fix and resolve the issues that you say you had a problem with. And granted I'm not above correction. I'm not above someone telling me that I'm wrong or I'm just an imperfect person and I realize that.

But one thing we can never say is that the love that I had for you wasn't real. It wasn't genuine and it didn't come from an authentic place. No baby this isn't a breakup.

I don't want you to feel attacked for me expressing my feelings. I just want you to know how I feel. I prayed today before I came to you with this because I knew it may not be received the way that it was intended from my heart but at the same time it felt real necessary for me to say I do love you.

I've always loved you and I know that I will always love you but I have to love myself more. Sometimes I feel like our attachment styles they clash. That's a me thing that's an issue that I have to work on.

I want to be beautiful. I want to be perfect. I want to be great in a relationship not just for your sake but for my sake as well.

No I'm not saying that. I'm not saying just because we have attachment styles that aren't secure that we can't date. What I'm saying is if we want a healthy relationship we have to actively work towards being more secure in our attachment styles.

I'm not looking for something that's fleeing or temporary. When I look at you I see a lifetime. When I look at you I see a wife.

I see a mother. I see a nurturer. I see a best friend.

I see the sexiest woman in the world. I see a woman that.