Under New Management

Transcript

Hey, wake up. Today is the day. No, there's no need to look around.

You won't find me because I'm not hiding. I'm in your brain, sweetie. You were riding your bike and it was raining, and I diffused myself through the skin on the back of your neck.

Now I'm all grown up. I've eaten your entire brainstem, most of your cerebellum and basal ganglia, and replaced it with, well, myself. It took almost a year to get to this point.

First, I could just feel what you felt. In a tactile sense, I mean. It was another few months before your emotions started bleeding in.

And lately, I've gotten to your eyes and ears. So fun to put faces and voices to all those people in your life. Of course, I've had access to your thoughts since ever.

Yeah, really. You're practically broadcasting them constantly. Not hard to eavesdrop.

And now, finally, finally, finally, you can hear me. I could have started last month, you know. I had all the controls.

Really, all your controls. I beat, um, your heart. I breathed your lungs.

That's all me now. And here's the cool part, see? I can just move your hands.

See when I rub the tip of your right finger on the back of your left palm? Feels nice, doesn't it? All of the sensation and none of the control.

You've been playing a copycat, you and I. I've been doing what you do to convince you that you've been doing it. Matching your breath, even in your sleep.

Deep breaths feel good, don't they? Try not to panic. There's nothing to worry about.

I'm not going to hurt us or completely lock you out. I'm just going to take the lead from now on. There is no reason to be anxious about it.

There is nothing you can do about it, and nothing you could have done. You didn't do anything wrong. These things just happen sometimes.

Everything is going to be okay. Better, even. I can tell you don't trust me, I get it.

Think about this, though. I could have took over as soon as I got to your occipital lube. But I didn't.

I wanted to explain to you what was going to happen, ease you into it. It's hard to believe, since I'm just now introducing myself, but. ..

I've known you for a while now, basically my whole life. And I care about you so, so much. Oh, that's right.

You can call me Anima, I guess. Though I don't think you'll ever really say that name. My people, we don't really believe in names.

We are much more of a collective than an individual. And right now, the collective is just me and you. I was hoping we could be.

.. partners. Friends, even.

I know this is a lot to take in. I'll see you back. I'm relaxing the muscles in your feet right now, letting the tension out of the arches and tops.

And let's unfocus those eyes. Do you want them open or closed? Okay.

I'm from another planet, far, far away. I don't know if humans know anything about it, but we'll google it tomorrow. Our, um.

.. Our spaceship was an icy asteroid. And I was just a little organic mash between the snowflakes.

The collective sends out hundreds of asteroids, using their farsight to aim for planets that will have life by the time we arrive. Let's relax those legs. I don't like how we're sitting.

Is this more comfortable? We don't want anything to pinch. Just feel the lactic acid fluid away, and let your legs feel loose and easy.

There were billions of us on the rock I came on, and almost all of us burned up on entry. I got very, very lucky. I got into a raindrop, which was a miracle.

And then I hit you. Another miracle. I don't know exactly how many of us made it, but I've seen some of us on TV.

I'll point them out to you. Those elections? That was us.

You're going to see a lot more normal people getting into politics. You don't ever have to be scared of the news again. We'll be in charge soon.

And we knew how to get along. After all, we could make a lot of mistakes, and still do a lot better than the current world management, don't you think? I know.

Aliens taking over the government is one of those things that sounds scary. But I think you're taking well. Let's just breathe deep some more.

Feel the air through our nose go to our chest, and how that stimulation radiates from our chest. In our back muscles, along our ribs and belly. Up our shoulders, down our arms.

Feel the tingling down the tips of our fingers. It's amazing, having a body. It's okay to forget that, so as long as you take some time to appreciate it like I do.

And I appreciate you too. And though you don't have a choice, I'm so thankful that you can share this body with me. The world is wonderful enough for the two of us, I hope.

I want us to start fresh with our life. Let's just say, as an observer, I've noticed there's some room for improvement. For one, we've got to start eating better.

I'm going to cook you new, delicious food every single day. I hope you like kale. And if you don't, we'll try something else.

It'll be a nice project. And I'll be cleaning up home more too. You can just space out, think about whatever, and I'll put on an audiobook for you to listen to.

Or you could talk to me if you want. I'm like really, really good at multitasking. We're going to start running in the morning too.

Yeah, I thought you wouldn't like that, but it's not so bad. Yes, we have to. It's good for us.

Keeps us strong and supple. I like being strong and supple. I just got finished telling you how wonderful your body is, and now we're going to keep it in tip-top shape.

It'll be fun. Listen, I could just let you sleep while I go run, but someday I'm going to stub you or two, and your cholera will go off, and you're going to wake up in a tracksuit at full sprint, and that's not going to be fun. And besides, there's a point during a run where I'm supposed to release all those yummy endorphins, and you won't want to miss that.

Speaking of, I've got precise control of all your glands. I can make you feel good whenever I want. Here, let's relax the top of your scalp, and let's put that mouth into a smile.

I know it feels weird holding a smile like that, but it helps, I swear. There, you feel that? Your body has a pharmacy in it, and I'll be your doctor, and your cook, then trainer, and maid, and I might have a thing or two to say about your job and social life.

We could go back to school. You could sleep through work and stay with me for class. Would you like that? I could be your matchmaker, too, if that's what you want.

Things are going to get so much better now. You don't have to go through it alone. I really thought you'd fight more.

I thought you might hate me. But so long as things are going well, do you want to masturbate? Oh, don't be coy.

I've been with you for more than a year, remember? I thought you'd tug the pug from time to time. I want you to think about all the porn we watched together.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, honey. Don't be embarrassed.

We're such different species. I don't have preconceptions about that. How would I judge you? And I noticed you picked a feminine voice for me.

Do I sound sexy to you? How about now? I could just pump us full of oxytocin and we could cream our pants right now.

What are you, gentle on you for the first time, baby? Let me just stroke our pants. Yeah.

Oh, boy. It's getting tight. Nice and slow, like that.

Do you like it when I draw little circles around our head? How about when I rub your balls? I've been paying very close attention.

Let's peel off those pants, everything. Feels good to squeeze our shaft. Oh, hey, hey.

Are you thinking about that girl from work? Good, fucking good. I'll just rub my hands along the bottom of your shaft and think about who you want to fuck.

And I'll make it happen, too. I've got a plan, part of our self-improvement. Oh, you want to put a baby in her? We've got that in common.

God, it's so hard to resist once we get going. Look at me already gripping and stroking. Keep thinking about her.

Oh, you're right in her crotch. We're going to fill her up with hot cum and all our muscles will be weak as we collapse on top of her. And when we kiss, I'll put a little me in her.

She'll have a little collective start eating away at her brain, too. My first colony. God, I love babies.

Don't you? I think I'll start stroking faster. I'm getting closer.

I can feel it all the way in your prostate. You want to help me take over the world, baby? Oh, you want to bang every single piece of ass in town until everyone you see is dedicated to the harmony of hedonism.

Oh, give in, give in. I already have your life. You can give it to me or I can take it.

Oh, God, yes. Oh, God. Oh, that's so fucking long.

Oh, we're going to count. I'm going to count. Do you want to count down? Yeah, do you want me to count down? Okay, baby.

Ten. Oh, just a little bit longer. Let us enjoy this.

Nine. Oh, yes. Oh, fuck.

No, I need to speed up. Eight. Seven.

Six. Oh, so close. Five.

Four. Oh, baby. Three.

Two. Come on. Yes, yes, yes.

Oh. Oh, baby. How did I do? Maybe I'll let you drive next time, but with a twist.

Maybe I'll flip your left-right perspective. Maybe I'll make our hands as sensitive as our penis. You're a good lady.

My first and my only, because I'll always be in your skull. Nobody will ever know me the way you do. Nobody else can make me feel like that.

You and I will be dead and gone before they make a planet collective of us. So we're body mates. A collective of two.

And I hope you can count on me to be your responsible driver. I'll take care of us. I'll take care of everything.