💋 🤯 Tsundere Head 🤯 💋(F4A) (Friends to Lovers) (Dullahan Bestie) (Head is Tsundere, Body is Naughty)

Transcript

So then I said to him, I'm not a whore, I'm a bitch, if you're going to insult me at least be accurate. There's nothing I can't stand more than sloppy insults. It's lazy and in bad taste and I won't have it.

I mean, it's not too much to ask, is it? Everyone can tell by looking at me I am a bitch, not a whore. I mean, even with a fantastic rack and tight arse, I exude bitch energy.

There's very little whore about me, actually. Probably to my own detriment. I'm too boring to be a whore.

Whores are fun and carefree and I'm not a bit of a prude, to be honest. And I say that with minimal judgement, I'm just. ..

The genitals and the moving and the. .. But that's what I mean.

Casual sex feels so out of context. It's like, I don't know you or care about you and why would I be getting naked with you? So I just don't.

.. I don't think whoredom's for me, really. Not even with this lovely mimosa.

The power of the mighty straw, enabling the bodiless to drink as much as they please, uninhibited by the fact they have no hands. I mean, I do have hands, but. ..

They're over there. What is she doing? Lay down.

No. This is the deal. I drink, you sleep.

That's not staying down, that's waddling. Oh, God. Here she comes.

Excuse me. Would you mind not sitting on me? How do you sit on your own face? We clearly need to drink more often.

Your spatial awareness is. .. Diabolical.

Oh, don't mind us, make yourself comfy. It's not like we were having a conversation. I'm sorry about her.

She gets a few too many cocktails down her and it's all floppy here, floppy there. Mainly, I just go pink and. ..

Snore. And told you, bitch energy, not whore energy. Also, I'm too lazy to be a whore.

To be a successful whore, one has to be fun and energetic. Not boring and. ..

What's that, a joke? But I still want more mojito. Because, young one, it's been a long week.

Emails from busybodies and people wanting me to do my job. We live in a society and I am. ..

I'm just a creature, I wasn't supposed to labor. Mm-mm. I was not born to work, I was born to buy overpriced coffees.

Oh, what's she doing now? You okay? Just lay down.

Ah, between us it's fine. Nah, she'll be fine. She just needs to do what she's told and bloody lay down.

Ah, that's it. Lean on them, they won't mind. Well, you won't.

You're too much of a softie. There you go. Rest your neck in their lap and shush.

Anywho. What's it been like for you during the mad week? Oh no, not people expecting you to do your job.

That is so rude. So rude, it's like. ..

You expect me to do the work I've been paid for? On time? Every single week? You need to adjust your expectations.

I fear we were not cut out for modern life, you and I. Or medieval life, or any past life, because, uh. ..

We're pretty weird and sensitive, so. .. Kinda makes life harder? Body, will you stop flip-flopping around? You're annoying me.

No, that doesn't mean throw a tantrum, it means lay down. Could you restrain her, please? Thank you.

No, no resisting. Stop. Are we one entity split in two, or am I your mother? Shush.

And be held down. Not in a weird way, just. ..

Shush. Anyway, since I do not have the energy or the attributes to be a whore. ..

I guess I'll be going back to work next week. Although, I can't imagine being a whore is all that fun, actually. Imagine having to fake enthusiasm over and over and over again.

No thank you, I'd rather show the world I am disappointed with my life choices. Openly and honestly, I am a corporate whore. With terrible spelling and punctuation, I might add.

Thanks. I'm trying. One day at a time.

Just like you. Ah, don't give me that foam honesty shit. You were the one who said, let's do this together.

I know we're both having a hard time, but we can do this, one foot in front of the other. Which, by the way, is harder than you would imagine when your body is separate from you. Hm.

For example. .. Specimen B.

Partially inebriated with three mojitos, she spasms while being held down. There you go, just have a little snuggle together and calm down. Hm.

I'm alright. Body? Are you.

.. What are you doing? Then why are you.

.. Stop it! Stop honking, Arias! I am so, so sorry.

Stop it, now, stop. I am so, so sorry, I am not telling her to do this. Get your hands off those parts.

Oh, I don't know, because they're private. We do not grope people. Honestly, just shove her off.

That wasn't a shove. You have to be more forceful, like. ..

You're not being mean, get her off you. What is happening? Why do I feel like I'm intruding on something? Are you.

.. Oh my god, are you both feeling each other up? I.

.. I need a minute here. So this is mutual, this is.

.. .. .happening?

Bad body. And bad best friend. And more mojito.

Okay, I know what's happened here. We've all had a bit too much to drink. We're a bit depressed about the fact that we're corporate slaves.

And, you know, urges arise and. .. ..

.bodies are around and, you know, with a bit of. .. ..

.slight fondling here and there, it happens. And it's not something that needs to get in the way of friendship or, you know. ..

.. .a sense of normalcy. Absolutely not, we can get over this, we can.

.. Go back to the way things were, body, stop it. Because you're making it really hard for me to keep calm.

.. .. .when you're feeling them up like that.

Stop saying it's alright, you. You're encouraging her. I may not be a whore, but she.

.. Well, she might be verging. Especially when I've plied her with alcohol.

So my suspicions have been confirmed then, haven't they? You don't like bitches, you just like whores. With their free limbs and their.

.. .. .casual openness and their.

.. Let me switch your part and you can switch my part. That's what gets your moods to going.

Not a mean cranium with a sparkling set of peepers. Nope, you're just like every other person, you're all about the fantastic rack and tight arse. Well, I'm also tipsy and I don't see you groping me.

I'm very well aware that body's technically mine. Don't change the subject, you. ..

You. .. ..

.groping her. It was also technically me. But you went for the body, didn't you? You went for the pliable, fleshy, non-talking bit.

You went for the whore, not the bitch. You and that man at the bar deserve each other. Just as I deserve more mojito.

Of course. Even the liquid's abandoned me now. Body, I swear if you don't stop.

.. What are you doing now? At what point in this conversation did you think it would be appropriate to straddle them? Do not encourage her! Don't you dare put those tits in their face, don't you da.

.. Oh, she did it! Well, clearly I'm third wheeling here.

So sorry, forgot it was my house and my body and oh, my best friend. But clearly I'm. ..

I'm redundant. Not needed, unnecessary, I'll just. ..

Oh wait, I can't fucking go anywhere because I'm ahead. And what exactly are you smiling at, you Judas? You, you appreciator of whores and great racks.

Where's the appreciation for the brain, hmm? Oh yes, I was an idiot to think you were different. Well, I'll just somehow find a way to spontaneously roll onto the floor and excuse myself from this clearly very intimate scene.

No. Stay back. I have teeth.

Oh! What? Don't you give me any pity.

I don't want it. If you like my body, fine, but. ..

Just so you know, that does belong to me. She's not separate from me, so. ..

What if you know, then why are you. .. Don't.

.. Don't just say that to gloss things over. You don't have to lie to me, I'm a big girl.

Even three mojitos deep. Well, if that's true, then why haven't you said anything before? Seems awfully convenient to me.

Because I'm a bitch and I'm scary. But you like that I'm a bitch.