👙 🫣 Tomboy’s First Bikini 🫣 👙 (F4A) (THICC GF) (Embarrassed About Being on Show)

Transcript

Would you like to know what true maturity is? Realizing that boobs are feckin' overrated. Because if they're huge, they're sore, they're irritable, you can't get them in a frickin' bikini top.

And now I'm overstimulated. But I can do this. We're at the beach.

We're going to have a nice time. We'll hit it together. Just a word of warning, if I come out there and you giggle your ass off, I will.

.. do something to you that you're not a fan of. Do not laugh.

Okay? Three, two, one, the humiliation begin. Yes, alright, I have tits and an ass.

Alright, well that's going a bit far. Thank you, that's enough staring, let's just be at the beach and not be weird. I don't want to do a fecking twirl, feck off.

Okay, for this to work you need to stop with the compliments, stop with the looking, and definitely stop with the hands. Because we're at the beach, people are around, and my tits are up to my neck. I tried to get a one piece, but they didn't have any for my bazooka size.

Like I told you, wanting huge tits, very immature. Well, thank you, I guess. I mean, it's better than looking ridiculous, so, even though I feel ridiculous.

Because my baggy t-shirt is so more self-effacing and comforting and this is like va-va-voom and nothing about my personality is va-va-voom. It's more like, excuse me, let me be on my way. No, I'm okay.

Swimming in salt water with clothes is itchy as hell, so, let's just. .. Ooh, let's do this.

I know, I know. No, you didn't make me get a bikini. That'd be stupid.

Even if you asked me to get one, if I didn't want one, I would've said hell no. You didn't do this, okay? You're actually the only thing keeping me sane right now, so, uh.

.. What was that? To the sea? To the sea.

Oh. Okay. Maybe this is worth the indignity of a bikini.

I don't know. Is that what you keep saying? It's not that I don't believe you, it's just that you're biased.

Because you think I look good with greasy hair, I buy you t-shirts and Adam Sandler shorts, so. .. The bar's kind of.

.. skew-iffy. Yeah, we can go in deeper.

Not too deep, though, right? Well, I can swim, I just. ..

Don't laugh. I'm scared of the sea. No, I can paddle, I just.

.. the ocean is terrifying. It can drag you out at will and it's full of swimming things with teeth.

And I know, I know, I'm an adult, I'm not supposed to be scared of the sea, and I can swim, but. .. I don't like going out too far.

I am really surprised you're not making fun of me right now. Okay. Thank you for, uh.

.. not making fun of a genuine phobia. Exactly, I've already had enough trauma today.

Two-piece bikini is enough of an ordeal for one day. Hmm. The ocean is pretty, though.

Pretty, but scary. That's true. You okay? Yeah, I'm alright.

Less people can see me here and, uh, I'm covered up a little bit at least, so. .. Listen, you didn't make me do anything, okay? I just.

.. I always struggle with body stuff and showing off some of my body and. ..

I mean, even the wording showing off is kind of, you know. .. weird.

Because it's like, I don't actually want to show off anything, I don't want people to look at me, I'm just trying to swim. And I know, logically, nobody's looking at me and nobody really gives that much of a shit, but. ..

The thought in my head is just like, everybody's going, ha ha, point. Point at the cellulite, point at the stretch marks, point at you, who thinks you are a woman. And I know that every woman has cellulite, and I know that most women have stretch marks, but.

.. It's just. ..

Being female and being seen is scary. Even scarier than the sea. And I'm bringing the mood down, I'm very sorry, and we're supposed to be having fun in the sea, and I'm scared of both the ocean and of people, so this is.

.. Paradise. I'm not making your day miserable, am I? Why am I even asking that question? You wouldn't tell me if I was.

You being all constantly helpful and supportive and patient. What an absolute. ..

asshat. How dare you support your girlfriend in a time of need and insecurity. You disgust me.

Okay, I deserve that. Sorry, are you okay? Oh, I see, you're very happy to support me in my hour of need.

Especially if it means I'm climbing all over you in a bikini, okay. I would be disgusted, but. ..

Fair, actually. In fact, I'm taking you up on your offer. You wanted me close in a bikini? You got it.

You can be my water horse. Mm-hmm. My magnificent seahorse, that I will ride and cling to if there's the slightest change in this ocean's motion.

Mm, like that. It's like she can hear me. Ah, the ocean is definitely a woman.

She's beautiful and terrifying. Case closed? Thank you.

What are you doing? You don't actually have to swim with me on your back. Oh, good god, please do not drag us out any further, please.

I will eject myself from this, stop! Thank you. I don't like the ocean, I respect her, but she's terrifying.

She deserves the reverence of all women. She's beautiful, stay away from her. Or at least maintain a respectful distance.

What? Hi? Are you talking to me? Oh, um.

.. Thank you, it's, um. ..

It's from ASOS. Thank you. She liked my bikini.

I feel vindicated and validated and really, really, like, I want to die. Because even though it was a positive interaction, it's like, oh, she saw it? Oh no, oh no, she was literally just being nice? Oh my god.

It is mortifying to be a person that can be seen by other people. We may just have to stay in the sea now. Mm-hmm.

Donkey pebbling for the rest of our days. Man, that doesn't sound too bad. Especially when it's only gonna be you doing the paddling.

No, I'm gonna be far too busy, you know, keeping morale up, talking about how existence is awful and we're surrounded by water that could kill us, drag us out, and also things that want to eat us. So, you know, my job is very time-consuming. What would you do without me? The only question is, how do we get an ice cream in here? I did not come all this way, shove my tits into a rub of ice, to not get ice cream.

Seagulls, do your thing and steal someone's ice cream and then drop it down, won't you? Okay, I'm convinced I am now part mermaid. And what do mermaids do in movies? They beach.

I am a pruney, salty, sweaty mess. And thank you for making it so. Because I was the one who wanted to come to the beach and you were the one that said, you can do this, don't let your fears get in the way, and look, I managed to beach.

So thank you. How much nicer is it when there's so few people left? And you can just listen to the water, and feel the sunset leaving, and just.

.. See, if the beach was always just like this, I'd be here a lot. Don't go feeling sad for me.

Everybody has the right to go to the beach. There's billions of us, we're gonna have to share. Oh, if you ever become a millionaire, you'll buy me a beach.

Well, that's very sweet, thank you. And if I ever become a millionaire, I will. ..

Buy a million different bikinis for the beach, and let you admire them all. Very generous of me, I know.