Tomb Raider

Transcript

Now, what do we have here? A fellow Tomb Raider, you say? You don't look like much of a Tomb Raider to me.

You don't look like a Tomb Raider at all. I. ..

I suppose you're looking for this. I already found the idol here. And I've already used it.

Would you like to see? Sit really still and I'll show you. I like showing it off.

My new giant ass. Would you like to be the first to sit on with it? I think you should be.

I've just been mooning everyone I see. Oh, I have an even better idea. Would you like to be the first to kiss it? Do you want to kiss my arse? You pretend Tomb Raider.

You little bitch. I think you do want to kiss my. ..

I think you do want to kiss my arse. I think you're going to. I think I'm going to sit on that little face of yours.

Out here in the jungle I could do whatever I wanted to, to you. And no one would ever notice, but I hear in America they don't take it very seriously. Everything's so much better in Britain.

Especially the arses. Especially the arses. And especially the Tomb Raiders.

But you know that. Lazy American. What if I just crush you with my arse? Are you going to kiss it? I want you to kiss it.

And then you're going to come with me while I show it off to everyone. I'm going to moon the whole city. I'm going to show it off, this new giant arse.

All because you didn't get here first. Because I got the idol first. Because I'm the best Tomb Raider.

So come here, get on your knees. So come here, get on your knees. Get on your knees.

Kiss it for me. Kiss my nice big arse. Those are good kisses.

Tell me, how does my superior British arse taste? Do you like being suffocated by my big cheeks? Is it your favorite? I'm going to show it off to you.

Over and over. Moon you all over the place. And whenever I do I'm going to make you kiss it.

You can kiss my arse.