Tipsy GirlFriend

Transcript

Come here. Come closer. Closer.

Have I ever told you that you smell like chocolate? What do you mean you don't smell like chocolate? I can smell you from right here.

Don't lie to me. Have you been eating chocolate, mister? Oh, I have.

I have. They're just so good. I still have another one right in here.

This one. This one I haven't tried before. This one, honey, is the Jim Beam.

This fawn is so tiny. This is so tiny. Look, it's like as big as my nose.

That's so crazy. I could eat this all in one bite. Oh, I know the plastic is on, silly.

I wasn't going to. I was just showing you a little demonstration. Okay, let me read this to you.

I think I might be blind. I need glasses. Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, James Beam.

The world's finest bourbon. I'm going to get the world's finest bourbon. You can't take this away from me.

Babe, I know how much I've already had. And trust me, I'm good. Okay? You don't need to be bossing me around.

You're not the boss of me. Can you open this for me? Thank you.

Why don't you want me to have another one? Why do you insist on me not having any fun? Babe, I told you I'm fine.

And it did say the world's finest bourbon. I mean, if it's the world's finest, then I want to experience it. It's one of the best luxuries in the world.

You don't have to get mad at me for that. You don't have to be mad at me over that. That's such a dumb thing to get mad at me for.

I let you have your fun with your boys all the time. And I'm just trying to have fun with you. Would you want me? Would you rather me be doing this with somebody else? Well, I don't want to either.

So, can I please have my chocolate back? Thank you. Oh my goodness, baby, look.

Oh my gosh, I can't get over how cute these are. I can't believe this is all chocolate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, with whiskey inside.

I know, I know. It smells good. Will you really be mad at me if I get one more? Aw, you're the best.

Okay, let's see how the best bourbon tastes like. Oh my gosh, that was really good chocolate. I don't need a shit.

I mean, okay, honestly, if I'm being a little bit honest now, I could feel a little bit of sensations. I don't know. I think before it was like going away, but now it's like it's all coming back now.

Baby, do you love me? I mean, like, do you really love me? Because I really love you and I get sad sometimes because you're not here.

And sometimes I feel like drinking by myself. But then I know that it wouldn't be as much fun as if you were here. Nothing is as much fun without you.

Don't laugh at me. That's not funny. You think I'm cute? Why am I cute? Tell me all the reasons why.

Alright, tell me all the reasons why. And please start with my hair. Yes, it is very nice and soft.

Oh, I think there's some knots in it. I might have some alcohol in it. Baby, can we shower? I don't like to be stinky.

Would you mind? Oh, you know what's better than a shower? A bath.

I love taking baths, especially bubble baths. They're the best kind of baths there are. What do you say? We can both fit in the tub and go to sleep.

I'll try not to fall asleep in the bath. Baby, have I told you that I love you? I love how nice you are.

You're always looking out for me in my best interest. And you know that I love you, even though I get a little bit crazy. But you know, I'm just crazy for you.

You should know that by now. Do you think that chocolate's really going to my head now? I haven't eaten all day.

No, it's fine. I'm fine. Oh, you brought me my favorites.

Funyuns. You know, I wasn't hungry, but they sound like a really delicious snack right now.