Tipsy Boyfriend Rants About Being a Penguin

Transcript

Yo, yo, yo, I'm home, babe. You wouldn't believe the chaos at the party. Like I met a guy who could do backflips into a pool while singing the national anthem.

It was wild. Wait, wait, where are you, babe? Are you even there? You gotta be here, right? I'm important now.

I've got stories to tell. I'm a knight, or wait, I'm a dragon, a really important one, but also a penguin. Yeah, I'm a penguin, and I'm basically royalty at this point.

I'm an emperor penguin. No, no, no, no, listen, I'm like a really important penguin. I could rule this place with one flipper, one flipper, flippity floppity.

Wait, was I a knight or a penguin? An emperor penguin. No, no, no.

Man, I'm just, I'm too much right now. Huh? Huh? Okay, I got so many ideas, too many.

Anyway, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna save you, fair maiden. I come to you with my undying love and some french fries. Yeah.

Fries. Some definite fries. Where are they? You got fries? Where are the fries? You don't even have fries.

Why you gotta do me like that? I was really counting on them fries. I'm hungry.

I'm hungry. I'm just a, I'm just a disaster. I'm a disaster.

A charming disaster. An emperor penguin disaster. You love me, right? I love you.

I love you. I love you. You.

Well, I did drink a lot and I'm just a, you know, I'm just a, I'm just having a good time. I'm a disaster with flair and some booze. Hey.

The world's not ready. The world's not ready for this level. It's chaos.

All right. I'm, I'm starting to feel sick. I think I'm gonna throw up, but.

Oh, I puked a little. Okay. Well, I'm gonna go to bed.

Fuck you. You fucking suck. And I'm an emperor penguin.