Time traveling yandere [M4A][kinda over the top?][solving all the listener’s issues for them]

Transcript

Good morning sunshine, ah wait, wait, don't panic, please don't, stop, stop, please, please stop moving, don't, don't, STOP MOVING! I'm sorry darling, you're alright, you're alright, you're in your bed, I'm not here to hurt you, I know you don't know who I am, but you don't have to worry, now, I just want you to know that it works, your thesis on quantum entangled time particles, your theory on travelling back in time, it was successful, and you will be appreciated as a genius of our era, the new Einstein, the new Hawking, the great you, God, it's so weird to see you like this, I'm a student of yours in a few decades from now, so I'm used to seeing you older than me, but this is far from bad, how long from now do you get it to work? I'm so sorry, you've made a few rules for travellers, for example, do not mention any specific dates in the future with specific events, it might cause a branch in the timeline that's not supposed to exist, a few other rules include not abetting yourself, not killing anyone in the past, and some other ways to prevent paradoxes, it's very important to follow them, but I can't tell you all of them, I'm actually breaking one just by talking to you, yeah, I'm breaking the rules, your life is one of the few that travellers aren't supposed to interfere with, they say you made that rule because you changed your own past and got stuck in the past, but you told me that it was because you once met a traveller who told you a few of the rules, you might have been my professor, but it was a bit more than that for me, I'm going to admit that I was in love with you, I spent years delaying my graduation to follow your courses again just to see you more, and when you noticed, you offered me a job at your research station, it was my dream, I was your assistant, helping you calculate trips back in time, gather materials, find artefacts and uncover what history was truly like, we even did an experiment where we broke the rules to create an alternative timeline, it was amazing going on adventures with you through the sea of time, but that brings me to why I'm here, in your drafty apartment where you've been hoping for a scholarship at some school you ran out of business a long time ago, did that sentence make sense, the present talking to the past or in your case to the future, it can sometimes be a bit strange, but yesterday is years away from you and your tomorrow is decades ago for me, I'm pretty sure I wasn't even born yet at this date, uh, let me check, do you have a calendar?

Ah, lovely. 5 days from now I'll be born, seems we've got nearly a week then, a week for what? Well, my dear, that one is easy to answer, a week to make your life so much better than it ever was before, I've brought the equivalent of several million dollars in value in order to pay your expenses, and the next 5 days we're going to spend as much of it as needed to make your life better, first up is a house, the genius of our age can't be expected to stay in a drafty apartment on the 14th floor when you're scared of heights, yes, yes, I know about that, remember I've known you for years already, you just haven't met me before, now, the money I brought won't be enough to pay your expenses for the invention, but I'm sure that it'll buy you enough time and comfort to create your thesis, and from there all you need is the right investor, I can't tell you what company it is, we've spoken about the roles already, but it'll be a big one, remember to read the contract fully, those businessmen are tricky, you always used to say that you wouldn't have taken a deal from a different company if you had read the fine print, why am I doing all this for you?

Because you're my idol, you're amazing, the greatest mind of the next century, all that and I'm in love with you, I've loved you for years, but you'll think that you're too old for me and don't want to feel like you're taking advantage of me, so I decided to return back in time to the day that we're exactly the same age as each other, at this moment the difference should be less than a month, and if we're the same age, nothing stops me from loving you, right? You don't know me, that's correct, yes, that's the only problem, which is why I brought the money, I'm going to make your life better, as I said, but for the next 5 days, I'll also be taking you on dates every night, I checked, and your schedule is free for the next 5 days, there's nothing stopping you from enjoying yourself to the fullest, and there's nothing stopping me from seducing you as much as I can, yes, seducing you, I won't have you spending the next few years in comfort hunting other people, I'm yours if you wait for me, .