❤️ 🎤 The Girlfriend Podcast (3) 🎤 ❤️ (F4M) (Q&A on Your Girlfriend’s Podcast) (Shout-Outs on Your Girlfriend’s Podcast)

Transcript

I am quite literally. .. Stop! She's already dead! I've been taken over, I've been outmaneuvered, I've been bamboozled, and.

.. I am delighted, because that means I don't have to do as much work. Yay! Yay for laziness.

Always for laziness. I'm here for it. Hello and welcome back to the TT Podcast, cos you clearly have nothing better on offer.

We love low standards here, thank you so much. Questionable content all round. Hello! Third time's a charm? Mm.

Mm. Maybe. Shall we answer some questions? If I have lots, who are so popular? There's a popular.

.. There's a popular boy. Meh.

Galactic Gaming asks, what's been your favourite audio? I'm guessing that's my question. Er.

.. the ones where I get to be weird. Who's your mother? I'd say anyone where I'm not doing the sex, and that's not because I hate the sex.

I don't. .. I really don't.

It's not like, oh my god, I'm gonna do this again. It's just, it's really fun to be weird and to say weird things. And sex is fine.

It's fine. It's fine. But it can get a bit like, oh.

Here we go again. So, yes, anything that's like. ..

I like all the, er, make T say weird shit stuff. That's good. Cos you get to scream! Scream! No sex appeal required.

Anyway, thank you. Midget, Midget09. Do you have a timer for taking water breaks? Er, no, I just chug.

I can't spell hydrated without. .. I have absolutely no idea how to pronounce this, so I do apologise if I'm butchering.

Merang-kitas? So sorry, I don't. ..

I'm dyslexic. And even if I wasn't, I'd be a terrible speller, so that's my excuse. What's the weirdest slash funniest dream you can remember? Hmm.

I had a dream once that I bought each family member a puppy. And I was so excited, and I was like, oh my god, we've got all these puppies, and they're gonna be so happy. And then the disappointment in their faces, they were like, what have you done? This is so irresponsible.

What are you going to do with these puppies? Hmm? They're living beings.

They're living creatures. What are you going to do? Huh? What are you going to do with them? It's a cute puppet.

It's tight. It was very distressing. I woke up and I remember you were just looking at me like, what? Not all people dream about being murdered, or someone chasing them, or, you know, falling off a cliff.

And you're like, it's a puppet. It's like a reverse Cruella de Vil. I was devastated.

I was so sad. And I remember texting my mom, and she was just like, Oh, sweetie. Oh, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie.

You've got a good heart, but I don't know what's going on in that head. Nothing, most of the time. Kobe-O, what is a turn off for you? As in, what is something a partner does that you think is too much for you to handle? Oh, being mean.

Being passive-aggressive and bitchy. It's like, if you have a problem, just tell me you have a problem. It doesn't mean I'm going to agree with you.

I can't stand, you know, someone just being like, you know, just like snide and like, oh, I just feel like, oh, fuck off. Just tell me what the problem is. And I can be like, well, I don't see it that way, or I do see it that way.

Not a big deal. I hate passive-aggressive. Bullshit.

It reminds me of being in an office and people being like, hmm, I'm not talking to her. Are you talking to her? And it's like, oh, grow up.

Be a grown up. And I wouldn't know anything about that, but be a grown up. In some ways, I feel like I'm very mature.

And in other ways, not all. I feel like with emotional stuff, I'm pretty much like, I don't have time for that. I don't.

I don't recommend being petty. I don't recommend like keeping score and being like, well, she said this and I said that. That doesn't mean you don't have emotions and you're not like, oh, no, I don't like that.

It just means you kind of just park it and you're like, yeah, that happened, but. .. What can you do with a drunken sailor? What can you do with a drunken sailor? What can you do with a drunken sailor? Move on and get over it.

Or don't. Or don't. But don't spend a vast amount of time being passive-aggressive.

It does nothing for nobody. What's your turn-off in a partner? Yay, not being kind.

High five. That was a weak high five. I like it.

I like it. I like a weak high five. I love it.

I love it. I love it. Yeah, just someone being like mean.

I don't know. It's not cute. It's not cute being mean.

It's portrayed as cute in films and it's like, no. No, you're a loser. Don't do this.

Next question. Jamaican me crazy. I love it.

Hey T, long time listener, first time caller. My question is, you're at a restaurant with your love and that ex from high school comes over to say hi. The problem is this.

It's the ex that you farted during your first time. What? It's the ex that you farted during your first time.

During your first time, super awkward. How do you handle the situation? Is that supposed to say farted or dated? I don't understand the question.

Okay, I'm going to go with farted because it's funnier. It's the ex that you farted during your first time with. Super awkward.

How do you handle it? Oh, that's not that awkward really. Everybody farts during sex eventually.

It's a sign of, it's fine. I probably wouldn't talk to them. We probably wouldn't have anything like, hi, you were inside me 10 years ago.

Bye. Nah, I probably just wouldn't. I'd probably say hi if we made eye contact, but that's about it.

I'd be like, hi. End of conversation. We don't know each other anymore.

10 years has passed. Goodbye. That sounds cold.

I'm not being cold. I'm just. Do you agree? I just don't have anything to say.

It's like I was a baby when we were together. I'm not, I'm not. I'm still a baby, but I have wrinkles now.

I've changed. I've evolved, okay. I've moved on.

God, stop being so obsessed with me. Nobody would be obsessed with me. Maybe, maybe my mum.

Yeah. Next question. If you had.

Oh, sorry. I didn't even read the name. Turk, if you had to choose, what would you say your favourite musical album is and what do you think it has to offer to others?

Ooh. Oh, I'm really bad at these answers because I don't have favourites. I'm so slutty with music.

Do you have a favourite? Yay. Yay for whoring for music.

We can't decide. We're sluts. We love music.

I love lots of music. I love, and the thing is, I am so whorish that I don't really have, like, albums. I have songs that I really love.

I'm not like, I have to buy the whole album because nobody does that anymore because they have Spotify, but I just really like music. I don't, and I can't, as soon as you say, like, as soon as someone says, tell me, you know, tell me your music, tell me your favourite music, and I'm just like, I cannot name a single song. What even is a tune? And it's so annoying because then you're like, oh, yeah, clearly you love music.

I do love music. I do. Don't doubt me.

But the more you defend, it's like, nah, you look sus. You look suspicious. I do love music.

I love the blues. WolfZero, what kind of advice do you have for someone who's just starting to make audios? Don't do it.

No, no, no, no, no. Do it to have fun and also do it to have a job, if you want to have a job. Do it to be weird.

Do it to laugh. Do it to get your anger out. Do it because life's too short and if you're a bit curious, do it, do it, do it, do it.

It's getting a bit intense. Getting a bit intense. I'm sorry.

Calm down. Calm. Calm.

Sorry. Twilight Audio ASMR, what would be the perfect tropical holiday that you would go on? That's such a cute question.

It's very cute. I personally don't really like the tropics. Well, it's not that I don't like them.

They're just not my first choice. Like, I don't. I'm going to be too honest again.

The autism will not be held back. Just enough time. No.

It's terribly honest and awkward. Ville. Ville.

I am gross and sweaty. Not that there's anything wrong if you're sweaty. If you're sweaty, that doesn't mean you're gross.

I'm just gross and sweaty because I don't like myself. Naughty. Stuck with the self-deprecation, but it's indicative.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Old habits die hard. Old habits.

Old habits. Can't even speak. Yeah, so I'm sweaty and a bit gross, so tropics are not really my thing.

I prefer to be cooled. Like, my heart is not cold, actually. Cold like my fridge.

My fridge is cold. Very functional, and I'm very grateful for it. I like to be cold like a fridge, so I would go to Iceland or Norway or Svalbard.

Svalbard? Svalbard? The place that's close to the North Pole because they're so pretty and they have snow dogs and snow and ice and I'm just about, yeah.

Take me there. Take me there. Take me.

Don't take me. But take me there. But take me there.

I feel like I'm actually the main character of this podcast today. What do you think? Don't be jealous.

Look, it's okay to occasionally be a side character, okay? Do it with grace. Grace and dignity.

You can do this. I know you. You're a good person.

Dig deep. Therial Sauron the 8th asks, Do you have any tips on not letting judgements get under your skin or maybe some advice on finding people who will build you up? Oh, God.

As a really sensitive motherfucker, it's so hard not letting judgements get under your skin. People just tell you quite frequently, just don't let it bother you, like, yeah, just brush it off and it's like, it's already in my bloodstream. I can't breathe.

Just said a bad thing and now I take it as my personality. It's really hard. I guess what you have to do is you just kind of have to ground yourself with people that are around you who are good for you and who do love you and you have to kind of balance it and be like, okay, this person who I don't really care about, I don't really know, I don't have a deep connection with, said something negative about me and it's like, it doesn't mean you have to say like, oh, it's bullshit or I don't care.

It's just kind of like, well, that's their opinion, but do I really put stock in their opinion? Like, does it really affect me? Are they in my orbit? Are they in my sphere? No.

So, fuck a minute. And I know that's really basic, bitch, but you can't change how people feel about you and I think we give people this false idea that you can and you can't. People feel how they feel.

They like you. They don't like you. They don't trust you for no reason.

They trust you for every reason. You've got no control over it, so you just kind of got to park it and be like, I feel things very intensely and that's okay. I'm a sensitive person, but it is what it is.

And, sorry, I don't feel like I have a very good answer for this one. I'm just kind of rambling, but you've just got to find a way through, however that works for you. So, for me, I lock myself in my house and I reject humanity.

It's so healthy. It's so healthy. But, no, as for finding people who will build you up, find hobbies and when you have those hobbies, seek out communities and stuff that share those hobbies and make friends because we place so much importance on romance and finding a partner.

And it's great. I'm not devaluing you. Stop looking at me like that.

I'm just saying, friends. Friends are so good and it's so important to have friends as an adult and nobody talks about it. You're like, oh, no, friends are for school and college.

It's like, fuck off. No, they're not. Therefore, when you're confused and you're like, how does a mortgage work? How do I pay my taxes? My kid's turning purple.

What do I do? Friend, help me. You need friends.

I need friends. I'm so asocial, but I have friends and I don't see them all the time, but I like them. I value their opinion.

They're different to me. We don't always agree, but they are my friends and I make sure they know they're my friends and I make sure that I'm a good friend to them. I hope I am.

I try to be a good friend. It's really important to have friends. Get friends.

Try to make friends. You can do it. I believe in you.

If I can have friends, anybody can have friends. He will agree. Agree.

Agree. He agrees. That guy.

What piece of advice do you often hear that you would disagree with? Ooh. Funker.

Uh. Advice. Nobody gives me advice.

They know I'm doomed. Uh. I don't have one.

Do you have one? Yes. Go, side character.

I need you. It's a filler episode. Pretending I'm not a side character on my own show.

Oh. I like it. I like it.

Yeah. I have lots of different thoughts on you can't expect somebody to love you if you don't love yourself. It's like, uh.

I kind of get the fundamental message, which is like, you should practice self-love. You should heal. You should take accountability.

And I agree with all of that. But I do think people are capable of putting others before themselves and treating others very differently to how they treat themselves. So.

I agree and disagree. That's very wishy-washy, but that is how I feel. I feel like, yeah, I get it.

But also, it's not. It's not black and white. It is grey like England.

And most of life. Most of life is very grey. It's not black and white, which is really annoying.

Like, just either be evil or the best thing in the world, OK? I don't have time for complication in my mind. OK? I can barely do maths.

Rollo Tony 97 asks, How did you two lovebirds meet? He was a boy. She was a girl.

They were lonely. Where did I lie? Where is the lie? There is no lie.

He's a boy. I'm a girl. We're both very boring and straight.

And we were like, Your face is pretty. Your face is pretty. You are nice to waitresses.

You are also nice to waitresses. Take off your shirt. It's pretty, yeah.

Pretty bog standard, but I like it. Jaman 1892. Oi, mate.

You got a license for that podcast, do ya? No. No, I fucking don't.

All right? I'm not from the South, so fuck off. Cunt.

I'm so sorry. Sarah Dran 24. How chaotic would things get if you two got married? Probably wouldn't change.

OK. I'm going to get a lot of hate, and I don't mean anything by this, but weddings are bullshit. Not marriage.

Marriage is a commitment, just kind of like cohabiting, and that's great. But I went to somebody's wedding, OK? My friend's wedding, not just somebody's.

I didn't crush it. I went to somebody's wedding, and the bride and groom had lived together for 10 years. They were pregnant.

Eight months pregnant, by the way. Not just a little bit pregnant. Very pregnant.

And the person who officiates it, says that you're married, whatever, was going, as they embark on this new stretch in their life, everything will change. And I was just like, how? They've lived together for 10 years.

She is pregnant with his baby. What the fuck is going to change? Why? Why do we carry on this charade? It's not.

.. Ah! She's not a witch.

He's not buying her from her dad anymore. Jesus! I don't know.

I just. .. I know that's not very romantic, and I get if you want to have a nice party and put on nice clothes and be like, love each other, drink, that is great, and I don't have a problem with that at all.

I just have a problem with like. .. Why do I even have a problem? It's not even a problem.

It's not strong enough to be a problem. I just don't really want to be a part of it. I think if you're in love, you love each other, you want to have a party and get married, great.

Don't involve me. I just. ..

No! It's not unromantic. It's just.

.. I don't want to go. I don't.

.. I don't want to stand there for three hours with people I don't know. This, by the way, this was, quote, unquote, a small wedding, 100 people.

I don't know 100 people to invite to a wedding. I don't know 50 to invite to a wedding. So you've just got a bunch of strangers standing around while you two are like, we love each other so much, and it's like, what the fuck are we doing here?

This is incredibly intimate. We're not going to join you for the bedding ceremony later. I know.

I am so romantic. You are so lucky to be with me. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I do. I love romance.

I do. I just don't agree with the performance of romance. I just feel like, why can't you just buy us some flowers and stroke her hair? Aww.

Aren't you lucky? You lucky sausage. You got me.

You're so happy. Aww. You're so pretty when you lie.

Bubbles, what is your ideal cozy night? Ooh, I love this. I love your question, Bubbles.

It would be. .. Well, you go first, actually.

It's your turn. You go first. Aww.

Oh, he's so romantic. He's so romantic, and I'm from London for some reason. Oh, that's really cute.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being boring with me.

I really appreciate it. And when I say boring, I mean just nice. Nice and cozy and laid next to you and being like, I need to recharge you within your chest.

Let me lay on you. Let me suck the life from you, and you're like, cool. Okay, want to watch Succession? I'm like, yes.

Definitely. That's my ideal cozy night. I just want to be in my pajamas with no bra on, laying next to you, eating something, and just being like, shush, shush.

Outside. Outside world. Shush.

You are not invited. Yeah, that's mine.