Tempted Beyond the Syllabus

Transcript

Oh, um, hi. I didn't think anyone would come down here. Um, sorry.

It's a bit of a mess down here. I wasn't expecting company. Not that you're, um, company.

I mean. .. Sorry.

Did you need something? Oh, right. The noise.

Yeah. Mom and you guys can get a little enthusiastic after the second bottle of wine. I usually just stay down here during ladies' night.

There's, um, less singing involved. Oh, you wanted some quiet, too. I guess you can stay down here if you want.

Um, there aren't many options, but you're welcome to sit. Oh, I've, uh, been working on this stupid psych paper all night to do as soon as Brick's over, and it's been pretty hard to focus, to be honest. Um, you look nice tonight.

I mean, you always do, obviously. Not that I, like, um, think about it or anything. Sorry.

That sounded weird. I'm just tired. Long day.

You ever feel like there's stuff you don't really know how to say? Like, it just gets stuck? Never mind.

That's dumb. Forget I said anything. So, what are they doing upstairs that's so loud? Really? Huh.

I guess it's not just Mom, then. I always figured that they were the type to. ..

Never mind. I'm glad you came down here, though. It's kinda nice to have company.

Do you ever wonder if things could be different? Like, if you could just say what you really want to say and not sound like a nervous idiot all the time? I guess what I'm trying to say is, thanks for being here.

Or, um, am I reading this wrong and you're just being polite, right? Sitting down here with me, away from the noise? You don't have to, you know? I'm not exactly exciting.

Most people don't even notice me. Not like you. Sorry.

That sounded weird again. I just. ..

I've always admired how you can light up a room. Even tonight, when you came through my door, I just. ..

Ugh, this is so stupid. You probably think I'm being ridiculous, sitting here and rambling like this. You don't? I mean, I guess that's nice to hear.

But it's not just that. It's not just tonight. You've always been different to me.

Like, ever since I first met you, I'd see you upstairs sometimes, talking to mom or laughing with everyone else. And I'd think, wow, that's what it must feel like to be, like, a literal ray of sunshine. Okay, no, that sounded way more dramatic than I meant to.

I just. .. I guess I've been curious about you.

I've never really told anyone this before. Not even my closest friends, but I've always been so focused on school, on getting everything right, that I've never let myself feel things. Get to know people.

At least, not like this. But when you're around, it's like everything else fades. Like, I can't stop thinking about what it'd be like to just.

.. I think I like you. I mean, I obviously like you.

Who wouldn't? You're amazing. But, I mean, I like you.

God, I sound like a middle schooler. Forget I said that. Forget everything.

I just. .. I've been holding this in for so long, and I didn't know how to say it.

But you're here, and it's quiet, and it feels like maybe I finally could. Even if it's stupid. Even if you think I'm a silly, naive girl.

I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I just.

.. God, I sound like a mess. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

I just. .. I guess that's fair.

I mean, what do you even say to someone blurting all that out? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put you on the spot like that.

I just. .. I couldn't keep it in anymore.

And it's okay if this doesn't mean anything to you. If you don't. ..

Oh my goodness. Sorry. Maybe I should just get back to my work.

Oh my god. No, no, no, no. I didn't close it properly.

You weren't supposed to see that. I was looking something up before you came, and. ..

You know what? Let's pretend this entire conversation never happened. Every single part of it.

My confession, my meltdown, and especially that. Please, please forget you saw or heard anything. Fuck, you're so stupid.

Fuck. Wait, you're moving closer? You're not laughing? You're not saying anything? Oh, you're really right here.

I. .. I don't know what to do.

You're looking at me like that, and I. .. God, you're even more beautiful than I imagined.

You. .. You just kissed me.

You kissed me. I mean, I kissed you too, but. ..

Wow. I think my brain just stopped working. Is that normal? I don't know what to do now.

Do we talk about it? Or do we just kiss again? Because I think I'd really like to do that again if you want.

Yeah, yeah, we can. .. We can move to the bed.

You're so close. The way you're breathing. The way you're looking at me.

I don't even know what I'm supposed to say, or if I'm supposed to say anything at all. But I know how I feel. I feel safe with you.

Can I kiss you again? You're smiling. Oh God, you're really smiling at me like that.

Is this real, right? I didn't just imagine it. Oh, you're really something, you know that? You're so calm.

Or at least, you seem calm. I feel like a huge mess that's gonna fall apart. I'm sorry, I just keep getting distracted by how close you are.

It doesn't help with you looking at me like that. I just. ..

I don't want to ruin this. You're so perfect. I want you.

I'm not too heavy if I straddle you like this, right? Hey, don't laugh at me. Can I touch you? I mean, more than just this.

I want to feel closer to you. Good. Good.

I can do anything you asked right now. Just. ..

No, no, I like it. Keep touching me like that. I don't know what you've done to me, but I don't want you to stop.

You're so soft. You're so warm. I don't deserve this.

I don't deserve you. But if you want me, I'm yours. No, I think you're the beautiful one.

I can't believe I get to see you like this. To touch you like this. Hey, don't you dare say anything negative about yourself.

You're perfect to me, and I don't care what anyone else has ever told you. I want to take my time. I want to focus on you if that's alright.

I don't want this to be about just wanting someone, but wanting to cherish them. I want to cherish you. Thank you.

Wow. I've thought about this. About you.

But I never thought it could feel like this. You're so beautiful. The way you look.

The way you move. Oh. Do you like when I kiss you here? Mmm.

I like those sounds you make. Mmm. God.

I don't know how I got this lucky. Can I take these off? Thank you.

Oh, you're breathtaking. You look so irresistible right now. But I'm a little nervous.

But I think I want more. Can I explore a little? If I touch you here? You're looking at me like you want something.

Should I guess, or do you want to tell me? Play out what I was watching. I don't know if I can really do that.

I don't really know what I'm doing. But I want to try. Mmm.

You taste amazing. Mmm. Whatever you need, just tell me.

I want to know what makes you feel good. Mmm. You're so warm.

You're so soft. Mmm. I can't get enough.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. I love the way you move against me.

I can feel you shaking. What does that mean? Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. How was that? Yeah, maybe I was um, talking too much.

I'm glad you liked it. Yes please. I want you to touch me too.

Where are you? Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. I like this. I can nuzzle my head back into your shoulder like this.

Why did you stop? Please. Please.

Please don't tease me. I don't think I can handle it. You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Of course I'm squirming.

You're driving me crazy. Please. Please don't stop again.

Please. Please. I'll do anything.

Just tell me what you want. You're so mean. But I like it.

I don't think I can take it anymore. Please. Please.

You're spreading my legs more. I'll stay right here, just like this. However you want me, just please.

I don't even know who I am right now. But I'll be whoever you want me to be. Just please don't stop.

Is it fun for you? Watching me fall apart like this? You're so unfair.

I'm completely at your mercy like this. Is that what you wanted? I do.

I want to give you everything. Please. Just like that.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Please. Fuck.

Oh, you feel amazing. Do you hear that? The party? It's stopped.