❤️ 😳 Teach Me How to Date 😳 ❤️ (F4A) (Subby Tomboy) (I’m Gorgeous? What, Do You Have a Crush on Me?) (Wait. Seriously?)

Transcript

Oh Good God No No, she didn't No, she did Cringe anti-feminist we do not approve She was picking apart other people's appearances while she was on a date How good some people not realize how gross they are You are not filling me with enthusiasm for the dating world Why didn't you just leave That is absolutely grounds for leaving Calling people fat and gross and what was it clammy? What is she 14? You are a better person than me I would have stood up and said Probably nothing and just run away, but I would have left Because life is too short to tolerate assholes I know you're a smart person.

So why do you do not smart behavior, especially around dating prospects? You're too kind that's the problem or too eager whichever You know what I mean, you're romantic you're like, but maybe maybe she's just slightly racist me I You know, I mean you're you look on the bright side and that's admirable but sometimes it's just You let it go too far You give people too many chances Because you try and see the best in folk and yes, it's very Wholesome and adorable and that's probably why people like you but come on Stop going out with bad people Well one you deserve better and two I cannot I cannot witness that You with some jerk face. I can't I can't do that Because you are a little special honey bunny And you deserve a little special honey bunny treatment and if I see some moron Dragging you down.

I will Commit murder and I don't think I would survive prison Not because I'm too pretty but because I'm far too soft. I Can barely survive my nine-to-five I'm not gonna survive jail Jail and prison aren't the same thing. I know but I wouldn't survive either Ah Baby boo, what are we gonna do? Dating is so depressing It's so many people are watching these assholes online.

They're like, I'm a high-value man. I'm a high-value woman just You are not stocks you are not products what are you talking about? What is this language this jargon this utter poopy nonsense I Don't want no part, but I'm also lonely.

So it's very difficult And if it's not high value this or a low value that it's Super sexual and it's like what I don't even know your surname, sir How am I supposed to get naked with you? And I don't know where you live Or what's your mom is called or your favorite Pokemon? It does not compute and therefore I will die alone Now I've already decided I'm dying alone I'm okay with everything.

I Can be okay with it and I'm lonely. I'm a woman Perfectly capable of being miserable and at one with it all at the same time It's called being efficient I'm sorry. Your date was sucky Dutch is it a bus of ha ha ha no No, it's not because of you.

It's because of her and people like her regardless of gender people are just like You're blessed to be in my presence and that's not because I'm a genuinely nice person. It's because I'm up my own ass Mm-hmm, there's a difference between self-esteem and self-obsessed It's gonna be okay, I have no idea how but it is gonna be okay We won't make it okay, we will find you someone Mm-hmm We can make her out of straw Silicone a real-life person. God, you're so pedantic I Know No, I do I really do Plus I have eyes and I see you and I can see that you really want to be in a couple Look And who said there's anything wrong with that Nobody it is human nature to desire connection Okay, don't let anybody give you this bullshit about well, just be on your own for a while It's like yes, you should be okay with being by yourself, but it's also perfectly normal to want romance No more being online no more listening to these people who are completely unqualified to give advice Okay, you are you and you're allowed to want what you want?

And if wanting some smushes and wishes and kisses is wrong, I don't want to be right Boy who doesn't want a smush in this washing awash I Don't know. It doesn't really have a word. It's just like that feeling like I've got you you are here I am here with you.

We are safe. I Don't know my smush. You're going to fight See I know stuff I'm perceptive Sometimes I That's the problem I want what you want, but I'm not brave You must be joking you are brave dating in this economy You have my utter respect Because it's scary and you can get hurt whether physically or emotionally It's just so Icky It's like yes, I want connection and for you love me, but also I don't want you to know me Well, it's like being seen naked it's so wrong scary I I Mean can I really trust another human being to know that I only wash my hair every four to five days One because I'm lazy too because it's not good to overwash Mostly the first one People will be like, oh, that's gross and it's excuse me.

I have a shower I wash the rest of my body just not my hair I Have a lot of hair, I'm lazy leave me alone Not you this hypothetical person that I'm getting to know Yes, they'd be grossed out and then they know I'm human and then they'd be like, oh there's no mystique or romance here anymore. Bye And then I'd be even sadder than just being sad in my apartment I guess rejection scarier than loneliness But I am dropping too many truth bombs, I'm sorry It's just Someone like you can't find someone what chance does someone like me have? And now I'm feeling sorry for myself, I'm sorry It's a pattern of behavior I need to challenge I know I know I need more self-confidence.

I need to just get out there, but My silly silly brain it says no No No, I can see that you're trying to be helpful, but that would be my worst nightmares now You're making me sit up in my own apartment, this is very rude I have terrible posture to keep up Okay I'm looking. Yes. I'm looking at your face with my eyes.

I see you what? I'm not saying that Cuz it's embarrassing and weird why are we doing this? Oh Okay, okay.

Okay. I am worthwhile Sorry, I am worthwhile. Oh I am pretty I am pretty And gorgeous and Funny and I Am going to find someone why are you making me say this garbage?

You're just making me feel worse I Know what you're trying to do, and I appreciate the gesture, but it's not working Oh No no no no no don't do that cuz you telling me is even worse no Cuz you're doing it out of platonic love, and I really appreciate that but it sounds force Because you love me and therefore you'll lie to me I'm sure that's not what's going on Okay, oh What now why won't you just let me lay down Okay, okay looking at you Trying to take you seriously, okay What You don't have to say that Yes, I know you think I'm pretty, but it's in a friendship way No that doesn't mean it's worthless it just means you're my friend, and it's different Okay, we're not that desperate are we I Don't want to be anybody settle peace and if you went out with me you would definitely be settling I Know you I'm not your type You like the pretty femme girls. I understand. They're adorable, but I'm not Look at me.

I have greasy hair an oversized t-shirt and cheeto stains on my shorts I'm not exactly a walking Harajuku girl Oh Are you saying these things I know you had a bad day, but come on things are not that bad No, I would not be embarrassed to go out with you, but Listen you've had a bad experience it makes you question things and then you go well, what about this what about that I understand But You don't see me that way and that's okay Hey, we're not talking about me we're talking about you But I don't want to talk about me Because that requires bravery and vulnerability and I am good neither of those things Impossible sunshine person stop Oh Okay, so maybe I've had a crush on you for a few years, so It'll pass it's like a cold a cold that stayed in my system for a few years so what You make life impossible listen to me no girl wants to be a pity pick, okay Oh Because you've had a bad date and now you're like, oh, well my best friend will do No, then what is happening Oh, maybe you're realizing you've had a crush on me all this time, okay Whatever Because There's been no signs. You've shown no interest. You're just kind of like hey, buddy.

I mean buddy, really I'm not trying to not listen. I'm just trying to tell you the facts which are You've never been interested.