Stupid Cupid

Transcript

Don't look at me like that, I know, it's ridiculous to stop into the supermarket for just two things. I couldn't help notice what was in your trolley either. One steak, a clay facial mask, a drain cleaner and a banana? I guess we're both all set for a romantic night, huh? Don't worry though, at least being single we get to use the express lane.

Look at all those suckers with their trolleys loaded up with flowers and chocolates. What have they got tomorrow? Dead petals and a little box of guilt.

And what is it with that Valentine's icon? You know, the weird flying baby who shoots arrows at people? Isn't the idea of having an annoying little shit like that enough to put off anyone wanting to, you know.

.. Anyway, your turn. Have a good one.

Oh, this is embarrassing. Honestly, you probably think I'm stalking you now. I always take this bus though, just not this late usually.

Don't worry, I'm getting off at the next stop anyway. Seeing as you probably already think I'm a psycho, do you know the other good thing we get to do being single? People watch.

Do you notice how annoyed people get when a baby starts crying? But think about it. If we were strapped into a buggy, sitting in our own pee with no way of asking for help, we'd be pretty upset too.

Alright, that's me. Bye. You're kidding me.

This was your other stop too? Okay, well, my place is this way, but now I'm just gonna avoid the awkward and go the opposite to whichever way you go, okay? So you're going this way too? No, you don't have to go the opposite way.

Honestly. Well, look, hey, you've got a lot to carry there. If we're going the same way, I might as well carry your groceries, huh? Okay.

Come on. So, I gotta confess, I did get a Valentine's actually. Well, I got a card from the office lady at work.

She was kind of like an auntie to me, so it was really thoughtful and kind, except that she has the wickedest sense of humor, and the card had a picture of a woman's finger tickling this giggling oval-shaped thing with a smiley face, and it said, Roses are red, grass is green, when I think of you, I flick my bean. I love her. Anyway, so, sorry, is that your place across the road? Oh, I live right here.

See? As if anything could get awkwarder when neighbours. So, I'm just gonna go in and listen to really sad music, and maybe cry a little for the fun of it.

And I was thinking, being sad alone is bad enough, but it could be even more embarrassing having someone to see how pathetic I am, right? So, if it sounds like something you might be into, please, you wanna? Really? Great.

Okay, come up then. I can cook you a steak for you later if you want. Drink? Yeah, I won't be a minute.

Here you go. I made it pretty strong, I'll admit. Don't drink it if it's too much.

So, are you ready to be pathetic and alone together? Sad songs. Let's start here.

Oh, God. Yeah, this is one of my worst songs for crying. Do you know it? Yeah.

It's because when Prince wrote it, it was about his lover. And when Sinead sang it, she sang it for her dead mother. And now, when I hear it, I think of the tragedy of his son dying.

Okay, let's just listen. It's already hitting me. Okay, let's just listen.

It's already hitting me. It's already hitting me. Like a bird without a song Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling Tell me baby, where did I go wrong?

Yeah. You want to hug me? Yeah.

Are you crying too? Let me get those tears. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be this bad. We haven't even done one song.

I'm so sorry. I'm gonna get you better. God.

God, I can taste your tears. They're the sweetest, saltiest thing ever. And I love them.

It's so weird to be feeling all this with someone we've just met. I really want you. I knew it the moment I saw you.

With fucking Cupid. Yeah. You want to get naked? You do? Yeah.

Okay, let's get these clothes off. God. You feel so good against me.

How can we be crying and laughing and so turned on at the same time? I just want to kiss your neck. And your shoulders.

You're everywhere. You want to touch me down there? Yeah, please.

That's really nice. Can I touch you too? Yeah.

Maybe we could just touch each other like this until we. .. Can I put my finger in you? Okay.

Fuck. Keep touching me. It feels really good.

You could hold it a little harder if you want. Yeah, like that. Yeah.

I'm gonna put my other finger in you too, is that okay? Yeah. Just like this.

I want to feel you a little bit deeper. Oh, God. Can I move them in and out like this? Yeah, is that good? Keep touching me.

What about faster? Like this? Okay.

Oh, God. You feel really good on my fingers. Fuck.

Okay. You want me to lie on top of you? Okay.

And if I put my very hard thing against you? I just lie it on the outside of you like this. That feels really good.

I'm not crushing it into you too hard, no? Okay. Yeah.

It's okay for people who just meant to do this, right? I mean, I think we'd know by now if we didn't want to be doing it. Yeah.

Okay. Good. Yeah.

What if we just tried feeling what it's like to have me inside you for a second? Just to see if we might want to do it probably sometime. Yeah.

Okay, I'm joking, but I'm not. Do you want to try it? Okay.

Just for a second. Oh, fuck. Yeah.

How did I know it was going to be really good? You feel fucking amazing. And I'm only a little way in.

Yeah. I can feel you slowly opening further. Can you feel that? Oh, God.

Halfway in. More. Yeah.

Okay, it's stopping now. I'm in as far as you've opened up. But I could go much deeper if you touch yourself.

I push in and out a little. And maybe stretch you open a little further. Want to do that? Yeah, we got it.

Check it works, right? Oh, my God. Fuck.

That feels good. Is it bad if two people meet and just instantly connect? Because right now I just want to completely join myself to you.

Yeah. Take care of you and hold you and fuck our bodies together so we can be as close as we can. Yeah.

Like this. Oh, my God. Yeah, you look so beautiful there touching yourself.

Yeah. Take my body crashing into you now. Yeah, like that.

Yeah. Opening you up. You look so tender and pretty and soft down there.

It's so good. Oh, God. I just want to do it even harder.

Sorry if I knock your finger off your clip. Just put it back again. Okay.

Yeah. I just want to give you more and more of myself. Yeah.

I just want to feel it from you, too. I want to see every goose bump and experience every little tremble of your whole beautiful body. I want to feel you tightening on me as you come.

Can you do that for me? Yeah. Now?