Solutions

Transcript

Yeah, it's done. I'm not sure how I feel right now, honestly. No, he didn't exactly take it well, but I mean, he didn't try to stop me from leaving either.

I have as much as I could take in my car right now. I'm gonna have to send movers back for the rest. Well, I don't want to go back.

You know, when he and I got together and we moved in together, I thought that was it. I thought there was going to be a ring and a happily ever after and then it changed. Okay, level with me.

You're my best friend. You were there through all of it. At what point did you realize he just wasn't a good guy? That early? Really? Why didn't you say anything? All right, I guess that's, yeah.

No, I probably wouldn't have listened. It was kind of gradual, you know? We moved in together and then it started to get really questionable.

For the longest time, I didn't know whether it was just me being really sensitive and noticing things more because we were together all the time or what was going on. But the more I started to really pay attention, the more I started to realize how much he was gaslighting me, making me question what I know had happened, things he had said, things that he had done. And I just started feeling really off.

Well, I couldn't talk about it. I mean, you don't talk about that shit with your friends because then your friends turn on your partner and then it just becomes uncomfortable for everybody. And I kept trying to convince myself that it wasn't happening, you know? Well, that night at my birthday party, when he refused to talk to me the whole night because I didn't wear the dress he wanted me to wear and because I didn't want to have a quickie in the bathroom before everybody got there.

Yeah. I know you picked up on the tension, but I never actually told you what happened. That's what happened is he thought I should have worn this other dress that was really slutty and I said no because I wasn't comfortable in it and I didn't think it was appropriate.

And then once I was dressed, I was getting everything ready and he decided we should do something quick in the bathroom before everybody got there. And I said no because y'all were going to be arriving in like minutes and I didn't really want to be in that condition. And then he acted like a toddler all night.

I know, everybody thought he was just drinking too much, which he probably was. I wasn't paying attention, but he didn't really make it a memorable birthday, you know? And that was just one of many incidents.

I should have got the hell out sooner. But after a while, he became tied to my sense of security somehow. That sounds so lame, doesn't it? Like I felt like I couldn't make it on my own, that I had to be with him and in our home to be okay.

Wow. I never thought I would actually say that out loud. But I did.

I'm stronger than this. I'm stronger than that. I'm better than that.

And yet I let it go on for so long. I know. I know you were always there.

I just I didn't feel right telling you everything because again, Ben, you would have been pissed at him. I mean, you already didn't like him. You haven't liked him since day one.

I know that. I didn't know why. But I knew you weren't a fan.

I just I didn't want it to be difficult for everybody. So I haven't really thought that far ahead. But I did.

I did call my mom. And she said I can move back in there for a couple weeks while I get back on my feet. Yeah, I never thought I would be moving home to my childhood bedroom at this age.

But I don't know what else to do. I don't have anywhere else to go at this point. I mean, um, I don't know.

I don't know if the house will be sold or if he'll just buy me out or whatever. I know I'm not going back. I I called the lawyer.

We're gonna deal with all that. We didn't even get married. But we were living together long enough that it's common law.

And we bought the house together. Which in hindsight was probably not the best idea. But whatever.

Yeah, I think I'm apartment bound when I find one. Hmm. It feels like starting all over again.

I feel like I did when I was 18. And I was just moving out of my parents house for the first time to go to university. And I had no idea what was gonna happen next.

I had no idea where I was gonna end up or how it was gonna go. I was terrified. I had a knot in my stomach the size of a bowling ball for weeks.

It's kind of how I feel right now. I have no idea what's gonna happen. But I know I'm gonna do it on my own.

I'm gonna handle this. And I'm gonna be better for it. Right? Yeah.

Uh-oh. I see thinky face. What's happening here? You have an idea that you don't want to say.

So why don't you just say it? I mean, it can't get any worse. Okay, what kind of solution? If you're gonna show me some stupid meme or reel or something on your phone, I don't want to see it.

So sorry, I'm not in the headspace. Okay, then what is it? Oh, wow.

Wow, look at those floors. What is this? That place is for rent? I could never afford that.

Since when are you looking? I thought you liked living alone and having your own space and whatever else you were saying about that. Well, yeah, your apartment is very tiny and your neighbors are ridiculously loud.

Are you serious right now? I mean, I'm not in the best headspace for making decisions, even though this has kind of been coming for a while. But I do need somewhere to go.

And we've talked about that before. Well, yeah, before I moved in with him, we talked about it. Yeah, it's a two bedroom, right? Oh my god, it's perfect.

Wow. Yeah, we'll split everything 50-50 and it even has covered parking. What the hell? Okay, how are you always there for me when I need you? How do you always know what I need? That is true.

You do know me better than pretty much anybody else. And you still want to live with me, which is saying something. Seriously, though, if we can get that place, I'm in.

Yeah, I thought about that, that I should have my own space for a while. But I mean, I'm going to be living with my parents and who knows what I'll be able to afford. So that place is nice by the looks of things.

And it's large. Is that the address? Yeah.

That's like four blocks from my work. Some things are meant to be, I guess. Wow.

Okay. Well, it's not like I'm getting into a new relationship. I'm just having a roommate for the first time since university, but that's okay.

It's you. It's not like it's some rando. Look, I need time to heal.

And I need a place to do it that feels safe. I can't go through that at my mom and dad's house. I just can't.

They're going to feel horrible. And they're going to try to help. And they don't fully know the extent of how bad things were.

So I don't know much I'm going to be able to handle there without them asking some really uncomfortable questions that they don't need the stress of that. And I kind of like the idea of not being alone fully when this hits. Yeah, I'm kind of numb right now.

As awful as it got, I still love him and have loved him for a long time. And I don't know when it's going to hit me, but it's going to hit me and it's going to suck. So if that happens with my best friend in the next room, that's probably a best case scenario.

Because I know if I need to be alone, you'll leave me alone. If I need to talk, you'll let me talk. If I need to throw things, you'll help me clean up the mess.

Like, you're kind of my rock. And having you in the next room seems really, really good. So yeah, I may not be in the headspace to make a lot of decisions right now.

But there's some things I got to decide just logistically, and this is one of them. So if you want to live with me, and if we can get that place, I'm all in. I can put down first, last, whatever.

Yeah. Okay, you put down one and I'll put down one and then we're good. Okay.

I have to take some of this stuff over to my mom. She's expecting me. So do you want to make the phone call or send in the application or whatever you got to do to see if we can see that place sooner rather than later?

Okay. All right. I'll take my stuff to my parents house and I'll come back and get you then.

We'll see what happens. Yeah. Thank you, by the way, for making this easy, for making this suck just a little bit less.

That's true. That is true. That is what friends are for.

And I'm glad I have one of the best.