Sit On Me - A Lesson In Etiquette

Transcript

Hey, you, yes, shut up, you. If you're going to sit on my face, do it. None of this flourish and presentation, no bend and snap, come in full force like Kate Beckinsale to Colin Farrell, bring on the iron vagina, bam.

I want to question whether my nose broke. Will it stop me? No.

If I move up, wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. Oh, I might die, glory, glory, what a hell of a way to die. My funeral will have a 21-gun salute, tearful women throwing their panties on my coffin and scolding their still-breathing partners, the highest of honors, and you, you will get so many condolences, fuck flowers, the thing all women want more than anything, the jealousy of a horde of other women.

So sit on me, choose me, kill me, please.