[Script Fill][F4M] In Sickness And In Health [Depression][Comfort] for [Suicidal Thoughts] and [Self-harm] [Wife Roleplay][Affirmations][L-

Transcript

Good night, kiddos. See ya. I love you, too.

Hmm, he is not in the living room. I wonder where he went off to. Well, not in the bedroom, not in the bathroom, or the kitchen.

Where is he? Oh, there he is, on the porch. Hi, honey.

The kids are all in bed. What are you doing out here? It's freezing.

Honey? Sweetheart? What's the matter? Oh, no.

Don't tell me it's nothing. I can tell something's bothering you. You usually come and sit down here when there's something deep on your mind.

If you really don't want to talk about it, I understand. I can wait until you're ready. I hope you do talk to me about it, though.

You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I love you, and I'm here for you. Okay.

Well, if you don't want to talk, is it okay if I join you for a while and sit with you? Thank you, sweetheart. Is it okay if I just hold you for a while? Thank you, honey.

Oh, honey. Are you crying? It's okay.

You can cry, sweetheart. Just let it out. What? Oh, no.

I don't think you're any less of a man when you cry. Look at me. I mean it.

Look at me in the eyes. I need you to really hear this. You're not any less manly if you cry.

I know your dad wasn't the best at expressing his emotions, especially the negative ones, so he taught you that you need to just man up and suppress your emotions. But that's not healthy, and it's not sustainable. It's healthy to let out your emotions.

If you don't, they get so bottled up that you eventually just break down or explode. It's so sad how society and so many dads don't understand that and teach men that they have to always be in control and be macho. Listen, I fell in love with you.

All of you. You're just the macho he-man part of you. There we go.

There's a hint of a smile there. I missed a smile. Not just your little smiles, but your big goofy smiles.

I feel like I haven't seen much of your smile lately. Sweetheart, I realize you're probably getting tired of me asking you this lately, but I still need to ask you anyway. Are you doing okay? Yeah, I know that you've been tired lately, but I get the feeling that there's more to this.

You know that I love you and I won't judge you about anything, right? Then you know you can talk to me about anything, right? Hey, you're never a burden to me.

I absolutely love you. And when you're having a hard time, I want to know. I know you say you don't want to worry me either, but sweetheart, I worry more when I don't know what's going on and the only way I can know is when we talk about it.

So, will you talk with me? Mhm. Yeah? Dark thoughts? What kind of thoughts? What? You're having thoughts that you want to die? Playback again? How long? Really? That long? Oh god, please don't tell me.

What? You. ..

The kids and I are keeping you here? Well, I'm glad about that. Listen, I can bear the thought of you leaving us, leaving me.

I love you so much and the kids love you and. .. Huh? There's more? What is it? Wait, you didn't.

.. No? Oh, thank god.

What do you mean, yes and no? You didn't do that, but you have been doing something? What? The next best thing? What could be the next best thing to killing yourself? Honey, why are you holding your wrist like that? Sweetheart, can you take your watch off me? Please? Oh my god.

Honey, that looks bad. I. ..

No, I'm not mad at you. And I'm not disappointed in you. I'm just.

.. I'm just scared. And I'm so sorry you've been fighting this all your life.

I'm so sorry you've been in so much pain. How long have you been doing this? Oh god.

Baby, come here. Let me hold you, baby. I love you so much.

No, no, you have nothing to apologize for. This isn't your fault. You've been fighting a battle in your mind.

A battle that I know you've fought in the past. And hey, it's just one cut, so it's not so bad. What? You've been cutting the same spot over and over.

But. .. Why? So you could hide behind your watch so I wouldn't see? Oh, honey.

I can understand why you felt you needed to hide from me. But you don't need to hide anymore. I want to be able to hug you.

And be here for you. I love you. Scars and all.

Every bit of you I love. Baby, can you tell me? Was there anything going on that pushed you so low? I know it doesn't necessarily have to be anything in particular like you told me last time.

Mhm. You feel numb? And when you haven't felt numb, you just felt pain inside? Okay.

So you cut yourself to feel something and to deal with the emotional pain by feeling physical pain? Honey, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't see that you were struggling this much.

I know you didn't tell me before. And you don't need to apologize for that. I can understand why you didn't.

And you told me now. So thank you for telling me. I know that I couldn't have been easy to open up like that.

And especially about this. Not that I don't know. I want to be able to help you.

I know when the thoughts of ending your life affect your mind, it can be scary. And just because you're having those thoughts sometimes doesn't mean you're broken. I know you do feel broken and weak.

Well, I don't see a broken man. Do you want to know what I see? What I see when I see this cut on your wrist? And what I will see when it heals and becomes a scar? I see a man who is so strong.

He has been fighting a battle for so long. And fighting so hard. This is a battle scar.

It's a sign of how strong you are. How hard you've fought and how hard you continue to fight. Now, I don't say that to glamorize this.

But I know you're fighting hard. And you always fight hard for me and the kids. Failing us? How do you think you fail us? Honey, you can stop with that thinking right now.

I know, easier said than done. But listen to me, okay? You're a good man.

You're a loving and supportive husband. You're so much more amazing than I could have ever hoped for. You have always supported me and my hopes and dreams.

And you bring me so much joy. It's frankly ridiculous. You love me in a way that makes me feel so special and so cherished.

And I know I keep saying it. But I keep saying it until the end of time. I love you so much.

You mean everything to me. And as for the kids, you are an amazing father. Please don't ever doubt that.

You are there for them at every turn. And are loving and caring to them. And you are doing a great job as a dad.

They're amazing kids. And a big part of that is because of you. I know you can't be home all the time because you have to work.

And I know how that bothers you sometimes. You are providing for our family. And we all understand that.

And we appreciate you being such a good provider. And when you're here, you're here. You go attentive and you spend as much quality time with them and me as you can.

Sure, your patience can be a bit thin at times. But hell, so can mine. I'm pretty sure that's just part of being a parent sometimes.

But you notice it and you try to adjust. And that's the mark of a good parent. Our kids adore you, honey.

And really, so do I. I'm sorry if I don't say it often enough. You deserve to know that you are appreciated and loved.

Come here. Now, can I just hold you for a while? Let me hold you and rub your back.

I love you so much, sweetheart. And I'm here for you. I'm going to help you in any way that I can through this.

I know I can't just take the pain or those horrible thoughts away. I wish I could. I wish it was as easy as snapping my fingers and poof! Snaps! Gone! But we both know it's not that easy.

However, I will help you in any way I can. If that means just talking you through the thoughts you're having. Or listen.