Saturday is the Best Day of the Week

Transcript

I thought I had bagels, but it doesn't look like they're any good, so is just coffee okay? If not, we can go get something. Okay, um, kitchen table? Couch.

Couch, okay. Here, here's yours. Just the way you like it.

Yes. Do I ever not make your coffee properly? You've been coming here for what, a year? Every Saturday? Mm-hmm.

You okay? No, you just look a little off. Usually on Saturday mornings you're just so happy it's Saturday, you're all grins and smiles and happy energy, but right now you just seem down.

Are you feeling okay? You're not sick or anything? You sure? Okay.

So, how was your week? Good. Oh, okay.

Not big on conversation today? Well, something's clearly wrong. The look on your face is telling me, first of all, and second of all, good is not your typical answer.

Okay, that's fair. You don't want to talk about it? If that changes, just say the word, okay? Okay.

My week? Um, it was really good for the most part. There was a couple of hiccups, just that one employee I keep telling you about.

Yeah, she has escalated a little bit beyond what I was expecting. And upper management is now breathing down my neck because she's not doing her work. And, you know, shit rolls downhill.

And, yeah, we had a bit of a confrontation this week, which I was not prepared for, but, I mean, it's part of the job, right? No. No, she doesn't seem to understand the chain of command at this company, but I don't think she cares.

She's been there a long time and seems to have a problem with the fact that I haven't been there as long as her. Yeah. Well, she never wanted to go into management.

I've asked her this. I've talked to her about this, and my management has talked to her about this. She never wanted management, so it's not like I took her job or anything.

She has just decided she doesn't have to listen. She doesn't have to adhere to deadlines. And because of her seniority, to get rid of her is a very costly venture.

So she's my headache, which is just fabulous. Yeah, well, you're going to encounter difficult personalities everywhere you go, right? It's part of the job.

That's what I keep telling myself. Are you sure you're okay? There's nothing you want to talk about? You seem really distracted.

Yeah, you walked in with a storm cloud over your head. You're just, you're not yourself, and I'm starting to worry a little bit. It's just me.

You can tell me pretty much anything. Oh, okay. If you don't think you can talk to me about this, that's fine.

You don't have to. I just don't want you carrying around something that makes you feel like this if you don't have to, okay? All right, I'll let it go.

All right. What did she do? Okay.

Well, there were some reports due for upper management, and I had my stuff done, and the other three people in her section had their stuff done. And she decided she needed more time, and instead of speaking to anybody about it, she just didn't do them. So when it came time to compile everything, my assistant informed me that she did not have said reports, and she was told in no uncertain terms that she would get them when she gets them.

Which, I mean, come on. Like, she's so rude sometimes. Just unbelievably rude.

So I had to track her down and have a conversation that I was not expecting to have on a Friday morning. And, yep, she told me to screw myself, so I was finally able to file HR paperwork, which I hate doing. I mean, you never want anybody on your team to be that awful, right? But, I mean, what was I going to do? I couldn't just let that happen.

And it's not the first time. So I did what I had to do, and now upper. ..

What? Wow, okay. No, I don't care that you.

.. No, interrupting me is not what I'm concerned about. I don't care.

What? Ah, okay. Now I see why you're upset.

Yep. So this girl was the girl you went out with last weekend, right? The one you were telling me about? Yeah, the one you met through that guy at work.

Okay, so I missed a whole bunch of steps in there. How did we go from you went out with this girl last week to now everybody at work is making fun of you for being a virgin? I don't know the connection here, but I kind of have an idea.

Do you want to fill me in? Why do you need to leave? There's nothing to be embarrassed about.

That's a horrible thing to have happen. That's not embarrassing for you. If anything, it's embarrassing for whoever made that happen.

That they're that much of a piece of trash human being that they would do that to someone. So no, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. So if you want to talk about it, which I'm getting the impression that you do, let's talk.

Remember, I'm your wise old friend and I put old in quotations because yeah, I'm like 10 years older than you, but it's not that big a deal, right? Oh, you didn't even smile at that. So.

Okay, start at the beginning. What happened? Right.

You took her out. Ah, hell hath no fury. Okay.

So you rejected her advances. Is that what I'm getting? Okay.

All right. Well, yeah, that's valid. You don't know her like at all.

You'd met her what twice? This was the first actual date? Mm-hmm.

So how did the virgin thing come into this? Really? She wouldn't take no for an answer.

When did no stop being a complete sentence? Fuck. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that because that's awful. Yeah, she wanted to know your hesitation, which she has no right to even ask you, by the way. No means no.

Again, complete fucking sentence. Sorry, I'm a little irritated on your behalf right now because that's horrible. Next.

Well, that's valid. You said you'd never done it before, so you didn't want your first time to be with somebody you'd literally just met. I get it.

She clearly didn't. Oh, she did at the time. Oh, okay.

Well, what changed? Wow. So to your face, she was all understanding, but behind your back, she went to the guy you work with and told him everything.

Well, he sounds like a peach that he decided to tell everybody that you work with. Like, what the? What is wrong with people, honestly? Humanity is fucked.

Anyway, um, so now they're all making fun of you for being a virgin. Okay, I may be old here, but why the fuck is that a big deal? No, I'm not kidding.

I just don't see what the problem is with wanting to wait to take that step. With wanting to make sure it's actually right. I mean, sex isn't a throwaway thing as much as today's society seems to think that it is.

And it's absolutely okay to feel that way. But it's not. But it's worth waiting for.

And you worked so hard through college, you were so focused on finishing and getting through your program, getting the job that you wanted, like, there's nothing wrong with having ambition and having goals and putting that kind of thing on the back burner. So if you're okay with being a virgin, because that was your choice, they can just go fuck themselves. Well, no one else matters.

I don't care who sees it that way. If you're happy being a virgin, then be a virgin. Who cares? What's that look? Oh, you're not happy being a virgin.

Okay, well, yeah, I get it. You haven't dated anyone that you're willing to take that step with. I totally understand.

There will be someone perfect for your first time. There's nothing wrong with being selective. Come here.

You look like you need a hug. Come here. You know how awesome you are, right? Look at me, look at me.

From the first day that you offered to carry my groceries up the stairs for me from the parking lot just after I moved in. I knew there was something special about you. That's why we spent three hours talking that afternoon and why we've had coffee every Saturday morning since.

Whoever you choose as your first is going to be very, very lucky. Because that's a huge privilege. Okay? Don't let those assholes at work get in your head.

They don't deserve to live there rent-free. Okay? No, they don't.

Come here. I'm just telling you the truth. I'm not doing anything but being honest.

You're nice and warm. Feel better? Mm-mm.

Okay. Ah, hold on. What are you doing? Why are you leaving? Sit down.

Just sit down, please. You don't have to leave. It's okay.

You just caught me off guard a little bit. We've never done that before. You have.

You've wanted to. Oh, a lot. Okay.

Well, that's a little bit heavy. How did I make it easier for you to say no to that girl? Okay.

That's why you didn't want to talk about this with me. Do you want me to be your first? Um, wow.

Was not expecting that this morning. No, no, it's okay. Are you sure that's what you want? Okay.

Well, I'm absolutely game. You're a really good kisser. We're going to spend some time with that later.

Because right now, I kind of want to do more than just kiss. Well, now's as good a time as any if you're ready. Yeah.

Good. No, I like you kissing my neck. Keep doing it.

Give me your hands. That's my breasts. Yes.

I have seen you glance at them from time to time. But I mean, you're human, right? And they're pretty nice.

They fit perfectly in your hands. Why don't you pull down the cups of my bra? Like that.

I'm going to take my shirt off. Wow. Well, I'll take that as a compliment.

Your hands are nice, warm. Keep playing with them. Oh, yes.

I do like how you're playing with my nipple. What did you say? Well, you know what you want.

Really? Then why aren't you just taking it? Okay, fair.

I appreciate that. That you don't want to just take over. But this is your first time.

I want it to be perfect for you. So if there's things that you've wanted to do, within reason, of course, I'll follow your lead. I'm going to go from there.

You are having a good time with my breasts. I can feel that. It's playing with my nipples, making you hard.

Have you ever touched breasts before? No? Well, now you have.

Now you've twisted nipples between your fingers. And now you've gotten that response out of a woman. Keep doing that.

Yeah, it feels good. How hard are you right now? Oh, your pants are uncomfortable, are they? Okay, stop for a sec.

What do you think I'm doing? Sit back on the couch. Here, lift up.

Good. Let's get these off. You are very hard.