Random Call From Ex?

Transcript

Hello? Oh, hey. Now, to be honest with you, I didn't even think you were going to pick up the phone.

Who is this? Wow. Wow, that hurts, but I guess I deserve it.

This is Andre. No, please listen. Don't hang up.

Don't hang up on me. I know it's been a long time, and I just really been thinking about you. You've been on my mind a lot lately.

Yes, I understand. I understand it's been a while. Yeah, six months is more than a while, but I just needed some time to get myself together.

No, it wasn't like I ghost you or anything. We had that final conversation, and I told you how I felt. You told me that you didn't approve or appreciate of it.

I sent you a message and told you that I love you, and I will always love you, and you sent me a message back saying that's nice to hear. I think that broke me. No, listen.

Baby, I'm not. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be a victim here.

It was wrong for me to say what I said to you. Go on. Okay.

Well, the last conversation we had, we were talking about marriage, and I was telling you that I felt as if though my viewpoints and ideology on marriage has changed, and I didn't want to be married anymore, and I didn't want any more children. At the time, I didn't really realize how impactful my decision was on both of us. I was just thinking about myself, and I can honestly admit, baby, that it's just a habit.

I'm sorry. I won't call you baby again. I'm trying my best.

This is new to me. First, I just want you to kind of, can you not? I understand you're angry, but could you not bark at me? It was really hard for me to call you.

Six months has passed by. It's not one day that has went by that I wasn't thinking about you. Not one day.

Why six months? You got to understand how we end this situation. I wanted to call you, but calling you was like having a knife stabbed in my stomach, and someone twisting it, and not allowing the wound to close up.

It was painful. It was hurtful. I wasn't healed.

I wasn't ready to face the music. I never wanted to lose you. I just wanted to be honest with you.

That's one thing I can tell you the truth is I never lied to you. I never lied to you. Yes, I definitely understand that it doesn't mean anything.

Yes, I also understand the ramifications of my actions. Listen, what I did was not acceptable, okay? We was progressing.

We was talking for almost eight months. We were talking about marriage and what our life would be like together. I told you initially when we first started dating that I wanted to be married, but I also told you that I was recently coming out of a relationship.

You got to understand three months prior to us talking, I had just ended a horrible relationship, and in my absence, and in my absence, I realized that it was just entirely too soon. I was trying to cope and deal with the breakup by preoccupying myself with you, and in the process, I ended up falling in love. Still emotionally codependent, and it's been a difficult journey.

I told you that I wanted to marry you. I wanted you to be my wife, and I don't want you to confuse the fact that me coming to the realization that I don't want to be married isn't a representation of who you are as a woman and how amazing you are. Any man in this world will be very lucky and very blessed to have you because you are an amazing woman.

I'm just not at that place in my life. I'm still dealing with the past, and it's not fair to you. It's not fair to anyone for me to start awakening your love with no real intent on it progressing to another level, and this wasn't a deliberate thing.

It just happened that way. I'm sorry. I just call you to let you know that I'm sorry.

There's no words. There's no fancy gift that I can give you that's going to take away the hurt or the pain. I have no clue what you went through these last past six months.

I can only imagine if it was a small percentage of what I felt, what I had to go through, what I was dealing with on an everyday basis, then it was hard. It was rough, and I'm so sorry for being the cause of that. I never wanted to hurt you.

I only wanted to make you smile. I only wanted you to be happy. What do you mean why am I calling? Why am I telling you this? No, please don't.

Don't be angry with me. Please don't cry. I'm not trying to rehash the past, and I understand you was moving on.

You was living your life, and I fucked up your day. I wasn't trying to fuck your day up. I was trying to bring peace and healing to the situation.

It's nothing that I can do. I've done enough. Well, I'm sorry, and I realize in your absence that you were the best thing that ever happened to me, and there'll never be another woman like you.

I want to try again if you'll have me. If you don't want me, if you don't desire me, I'll never bother you ever again, and I understand and respect your decision because I truly love you. I never stopped loving you.

I don't feel like I love myself. I don't feel like I was doing the things necessary to get myself to a healthy place. I was looking for refuge and comfort in what we had, and I lost myself.

I lost myself in you. I lost myself in the relationship. I just want to be a better person.

No, no, I don't want to be a better person for anyone else other than myself. If it means becoming a better person for you also, then I love that. Great, but I had to get away from myself.

I had to heal for myself, and I just wanted you to know that. I've always loved you. I've never stopped loving you.

I feel like a prisoner almost. I try to do everything in my power not to think about you, but I can't get you out of my head. I can't erase the memories.

I can't shake the feeling. I can't erase the memories. I can't shake the feeling.

I need you. I need our love. I need what we had.

I don't want to go on living without it. Is there anything that I can do to get your love again, and I'll do whatever I have to do. I'll start off small even if it means being your friend.

Anything that I have to do to have you in my life, I'm willing to do. You need some time. I heard you.

I understand. Well, it was beautiful hearing from you, and I wish you well.