Rambling Till We Both Fall Asleep (1 Hour)

Transcript

Hey, what's up? You can't sleep? Yeah? No, no.

You don't have to wake me up. It's okay. It's all right.

Don't worry. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. Do you want to sleep with me? Yeah? Okay.

Do you want me to talk for a bit. Until you fall asleep? Okay.

No no, it's fine. It's fine. I won't do anything.

It's okay. Just listen. Just listen okay? Okay.

Good. Come here. Come here.

Better? That's good. I'm still a little sleepy so don't expect me to give you the best words of encouragement, but I'll try my best, okay?

And you try your best to go to sleep. Does that sound good? Okay.

That's good. Good. It's been a long day.

You've had to deal with a lot of people. A lot of things. A lot of responsibilities.

A lot of points. A lot of situations. A lot of experiences.

Sometimes it just feels like we don't have enough time to to really think about everything. To put things into order. No.

Life just keeps running at us. Full speed. They want us to sprint this marathon.

I know things are tough. I know. So, so tough.

But why don't you give yourself some credit? You've already made it this far. You've already gone through so many things.

You've already beaten so many situations. So many challenges. You've already proven to yourself that you can make it another day.

All of these things that are bothering you right now they are nothing compared to you. They are nothing compared to the person that you are. They are nothing compared to the person that I know you can be.

You are so, so, so, so strong. You inspire so many people. You just don't know it.

And I know in your head there's a million things running desperately trying to disprove me. Why don't you listen? Just tonight.

Right here, right now. For once, just open yourself. For once, just open yourself to the possibility that you're worth something.

That you're a good person. That so many people find you lovely. That at the end of the day you are cared for.

You are thought of. You are missed. And you are loved.

Give yourself, give yourself that benefit. And trust me, things will get better. And trust me, things will be much, much easier to take in.

I know there's those few things that's always nagging you. That's always just running at the back of your head. Never really going away.

Never really stopping. No matter how hard we try to push them away. It's the lousiest moments.

They just keep coming back harder. Feistier. More annoying.

Everything. I really wish I could make all of those go away. I really do.

I wish I could give you that roadmap. I could give you the step-by-step. The things that you have to do to make it all go away.

But no one has that. I don't have that. You don't have that.

You don't have that. The most we can do is try. And try, and try, and try, and try.

But maybe we're tired of trying. Maybe we're tired of always having to prove ourselves. Every day.

Proving yourself to your parents. To your siblings. To your relatives.

To your friends. To your teachers. To yourself.

It's tiring. But it's worth it. I know it is.

You are worth it. You know that. They always talk, big talk about how there's always light at the end of the tunnel.

To the point where I can't even take them seriously anymore. I've just heard it way too many times. And right when you think there's light, there's just more tunnel.

More tunnel. But the longer that journey, the brighter that light is. We can't just sit there, give up.

We can't just sit down, right in the middle, letting that darkness and that crampness eat at us. When I know that there's such a bright light waiting for us just ahead. You may not see it now, but I do.

So many people do. And at some point you will see it too. That beautiful, beautiful light telling us that all that darkness was worth it.

That all that darkness meant something. And all the times that you just sat there or lied down, nearly giving up, all of that led to something. All of that led to something.

All of that led to something so, so much more. Things aren't okay. And not everything will be okay.

But the biggest and best parts of us that we can control, we can look at it, we can do what we can and say that we will be okay. All those other things that we can't control, we don't have to make it all okay. We don't have to make it all perfect.

We don't have to all just toil away trying to make every single thing picture perfect. Because we're gonna lose ourselves in that journey. We're gonna lose ourselves in each and every single brush stroke.

And we're gonna forget why we started. Why we started painting. Why we started taking that picture in the first place.

And at the end of it, we're not even gonna express ourself. We're not gonna let people look at our picture and our drawing and find out who we really are. They're just gonna see what it is that we want them to see.

And they'll never understand us like that. Never. So let's give ourselves the benefit of painting an honest picture.

Of being an honest person to ourselves. And things will fall into place after that. Okay.

I hope I'm still making sense. In my head it makes sense but I'm not too sure. There will be times where there just seems like there's no way out.

It's like the best course of action is not to act at all. And we're going to get tested during those times. People are going to look down at us We're going to look down at ourselves.

And it feels like the only thing we can do is spiral out of control. The only thing we can do is give up. The only thing we can do is pretend like we're okay.

Pretend like we're still trying. Pretend like we're still trying. Or pretend like we care that we're not trying anymore.

I have those moments too. I used to. And I still do now.

Moments where I'm just lying down. Just lying down. Just listening to the hum of the wind.

Not wanting to think about anything at all but thinking about everything at the same time. All my decisions. All my worries.

All my futures. All my regrets. All the things wasted.

It just never seems to go away, that thought. When that happens what I like to do and what I would like you to do is to keep things simple. To look back and flip that question on.

To look back and flip everything on its head. If you can name one big thing that makes you feel so, so bad you can name two things just small things that make you feel just a little bit better. For me it's it's finding out that there's more chapters to this web novel that I'm reading.

Or maybe the video that I'm watching is so good that I don't want it to end. So when I hover over that when I hover over the bar thing at the bottom I can see that there's half of the video left. You know, just little things like that that make you feel good.

There's so, so many things like that in our lives. We just have to go out of our way to look for them. These little things these little minute details that fly over people's heads we can take those.

We can think about them. We can ground ourselves. We can keep ourselves sane by thinking of those little pleasures in life.

And don't even get me started with all the big things in life that make us just so happy. Friends TV shows games There's so many things if you really try to think about it at least one two things in your life that bring you happiness that bring you comfort. You bring me comfort.

You bring me happiness. You give me reasons to keep on going. You give me reasons to be happy.

You give me reasons to feel. You just give me reasons to be human. And I can't ask for much more.

Who am I to be upset when I have such a beautiful person in my life? Who am I to feel angry at this world? Who am I to feel like who am I to feel angry at anything? When someone somewhere out there gave me a person like you I didn't mean to be all sappy but thinking about things that make me happy tends to make me like that.

Are you trying to think from time to time the things the people that make you happy the people that give you purpose the things that give meaning to your day the things that give meaning to your struggles to your worries to your anxieties to your sadness There's just so many things that can keep us going, isn't there? So much. Hey look at me hold my hand Am I not a reason to keep going? Am I not a reason to be happy? I'm not saying you can't be sad because I'm in your life I'm saying there's just one more reason to be happy to find meaning Okay?

Come here It's okay It's okay I know It's gonna be okay There's some things Some things that we can control Some things that we can't.