Opening Up to Your Boyfriend

Transcript

Hey. Couldn't sleep? Yeah, me neither.

Mind if I join you? Would you like something to drink? Would you like some coffee? I know that it's 2am, but who's stopping us? Oh, no.

No coffee for me. But if you want, I can make you some. Yeah? Sounds good? Alright, one sec.

Alright, here you go. Careful, it's hot. Yep, you got it.

What time did you wake up? No, I was just. ..

I was awake the entire time. I didn't get to sleep. That's nothing.

I guess I was just thinking about a lot of things. Here and there. There and here.

What about you? Right, yeah. I mean, if you.

.. I don't know. Would you like me to talk a bit about my own stuff first? Yeah? Sure.

It's like a million things and nothing are happening at the same time. I was gonna just. ..

I was just gonna say, actually, that it feels like we haven't done this in a while, you know? It feels like we haven't done this in a while, you know? Just you and me, sitting by the window, cup of coffee, cup of tea, and just looking at the stars.

It sort of feels like there's been a lot going on between us, and just with our own lives, I guess. When was the last time we did this? A few weeks ago, maybe? And for the past, I guess, however many days it's been, I have just been going through it.

You know, I had that episode where, you know, things got a little iffy, I guess, with me. I don't know. We already talked a lot about that, though, so we can just move on from that.

But, you know, things have been going good. I've just been doing my own things, and I guess hoping to see what works, what doesn't. You know, there's not a lot of stuff going on, really.

Ah, that's enough about me, though. I mean, yeah, I only talked for like three minutes, but it's whatever, you know? I came here to ask about you, and, you know, I just wanted to know how you were doing.

I only talked for like three minutes, but it's whatever, you know? I came here to ask about you, and, you know, I feel like you've been asking about me a lot of the time. So it's about time I returned the favor and asked about you.

Do you want to talk about anything if you want to? Yeah? Yeah.

Okay, how about you come here and snuggle up with me under this. .. Here.

Under this very, very warm blanket. You can be the little spoon. I'll be the big spoon.

And you can talk about whatever you want to talk about. Don't have to worry about anything. Don't have to worry about me being busy or whatever.

You can just talk your heart out, and if at any point it feels like it's being a bit too much for me, then I'll let you know. Okay? How's that sound? Sounds good.

Okay. Come here. Come here.

You feeling better? Yeah? I'll just wrap my arms around you, okay? Okay? Do you want to hold my hand? You do? Okay, you can hold my hand.

Hold it real tight, okay? Do not let go. If you want me to tighten up and cuddle you some more, then just squeeze my hand, okay? And I'll get the memo.

I'll get the memo. Pumpkin. Look at me.

Yeah. I love you. So much.

To the heavens and back. Even if we're not feeling ourselves. Even if we feel like there's a lot of things that are messed up right now.

I wouldn't replace these memories, these experiences. And I definitely wouldn't replace what we have right now for anything. No matter what it is you think you did wrong.

No matter what it is you still have to do. I will always be here. Caring for you.

Loving you. Respecting you. Reminding you.

That I am a billion percent yours. Okay? Okay.

You want to tell me a bit more about what's been keeping you up? Yeah? Okay.

Go ahead. Mhm. Yeah.

Okay. Mhm. Mhm.

Yeah. Okay. No, no, it's okay.

Pumpkin. Hey. No, no, no.

I want to hear more. Okay? I want to hear more.

Do not think for a second that you're being a burden to me. Do not think for a second that you're talking too much. In fact, I want you to talk too much.

Alright? Just try me. Just try me.

Go ahead. Yeah. Yeah.

Mhm. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Mhm. I know I've said this a million times before, but I'm really thankful.

Whenever you share me all these things, I really am super thankful. It's not often that we get to talk about things like this, but I really want to cherish the times where, or when, we do. So thank you for trusting me time and again to tell me all about these things.

Mhm. I'm not gonna bore you with all the stuff that I've already told you in the past about how much I accept all your imperfections and all your this and that and this and that. I've already told you all that stuff so much.

So I'm just gonna. .. I'm just gonna hold you for a long time.

And I won't let go. Not until you want me to. Oh.

Pumpkin. Could you look at me? Not a day goes by where I don't think about you and all the stupid little things you do.

Whenever I see you, every bit of life has so much more color. Every time I hear you, flowers bloom all around me. Whenever I feel you, life is just that much more complete.

It honestly sucks. You know? Life.

We keep trying our best time and again. But it keeps shooting us down time and again. Sometimes I find it hard to wake up.

Sometimes I find it hard to get out of bed. No, that's every day, actually. But just sometimes I find it difficult to to get up and start the day right, you know? It's hard to fall into the routine that I've built up.

It's hard to walk down the flight of stairs and not feel the weight of the world. It's hard not to just want to stay with you the entire day. Sometimes even just prefer to be alone, I guess.

It's really hard. Whenever I go to work, I just want to go home. I just want to lay down and bury myself in 50 sheets of blankets and 200 pillows and just stay there for the rest of my life.

And late at night, I just sometimes think to myself, what's the point, you know? Whenever we do one thing, the next thing comes up. And it never ends.

And it feels like it never will. So why do we have to keep on going time and again? What on earth is stopping us from just giving up? Just lying down and letting the waves ride out? At times like those, I just like to sit up in bed, look out the window and if I can, count all the stars.

All the stars that I can see. And in those moments, I think to myself even more, why am I still fighting? Why do I still keep on going? Why do I keep on taking that next step and the step after that and the step after that? Why? Why? And then I look up at the moon and I think to myself like some some weird romance lead that moon up there.

If you were two thousand miles away from me would you be looking up at the same moon? Would you be looking up at the same sky as me? If you were here with me and when you're here with me I think to myself would they count the stars with me?

Would they let me know how many they see? And you know what the answer to that is in my head? It's always a resounding yes.

Always. When I try to think of all the reasons why I'm fighting all the reasons why I take that next step and the step after that and the step after that and after that and after that I think of so many things.