Only One Bed! Sleepy Mutual Masturbation With Your Best Friend Turned Lover

Transcript

Phew. We're finally here. You definitely have everything.

Bit late if you don't. Now the bus is gone I guess. Fingers crossed you do.

Oh my god I can't believe how late we are. I hate flying so much. How hard can it be to just get the plane there on time, huh? Okay.

Yeah, hate is a very strong word. But I fucking mean it. Besides, I don't really hate flying.

Flying itself is fun. It's everything else about air travel I hate. Airports are possibly the most stressful place on earth.

I don't know how you stay so chill about it. But I'm very grateful. I would have been way more stressed out if it weren't for you.

In fact, I don't know why this is the first time we've gone on holiday together. We should have done this years ago. Here we are anyway.

Let's hope check-in's still open. I'm sure it is. They must have people arriving late all the time.

Oh, let me get the door. Your suitcase is way bigger than mine. Oh.

Hmm. Okay. It's looking a little tired, isn't it? The photos on the website must have been taken when they last decorated.

30 years ago or so. Oh well. It's just somewhere to sleep.

Let's just hope that they've got new mattresses in that time, yeah? Ah. Do you have the booking confirmation and stuff? I thought I did, but.

.. Ah. Ah, yeah.

It's in the little pouch. Phew. But I didn't feel it in my pocket right away then.

I was like, fuck, we're going to be sleeping on the street. Anyway. Okay.

Let's get checked in. Uh, yeah, we'd like to check in, please. Yeah, the name should be Fasmin.

Fasmid Asmin. Weird name, I know. Don't ask.

Here's the booking confirmation email, if it helps. We printed it out. Thanks.

Wait, hold on. One double? As in, one double bed? Uh, no, no, no, that's not.

.. That must be the wrong one. We booked two single rooms? One each.

Uh, are you sure? Damn. I must have.

.. I don't know. Well, do you have anything else available? Just any other room would be fine.

And there's not like a cot in the room or something. It's just the double bed. Just.

.. Can you give me a minute? Thanks.

Look, I guess I fucked up. You heard all that, right? So, what do you want to do? I mean, we could try our luck elsewhere, but I'm guessing if this place is fully booked, then everywhere else probably will be, too.

No, no cot, I asked. We'd have to share a double bed, and. ..

Well. .. Uh.

.. I. ..

I guess? I don't see why not. It's not what I was expecting, but.

.. Hey, fuck it. Yeah, you have a good point.

There's no reason not to. All right, we can top and tailor or something. We'll make it work.

See, there you are again, so good at making things positive when I'm getting stressed. Uh, yeah, we'll take that room. Thank you.

Ah, okay. The rooms are about as old looking as the reception. That's good.

I mean, at least they aren't any worse. Yeah, let's go with a retro. I feel like you're really pushing your ability to put a positive spin on everything to its absolute limit today.

It's been fun seeing just how far you can go with it, I have to say. God, I'm so tired. I don't know how you're able to sleep on planes and buses like you did.

I can never get to sleep in situations like that. I'm always too anxious about missing my stop or something. Yeah, I guess when you can just lean against my shoulder and rely on me to wake you up when you need to get off, you don't need to worry, huh?

No wonder you're so carefree. Let's try this bed. I'll unpack my suitcase later.

Maybe tomorrow. Oh, hey, how about that? This actually isn't too bad.

I was fully expecting to be able to feel every single spring in this thing. I just want to go to sleep right now. I'm so tired.

Yeah, you're right. I should brush my teeth. Really can't be bothered, but I guess if we're going to have to sleep in the same bed, I should at least make sure I'm not breathing stinky breath all over you.

Where's my toothbrush? Hair stuff? Moisturiser? Nail clippers? Why'd I bring those? We're only here for a few days.

Where's my fucking. .. Oh man, I think I've forgotten my toothbrush.

Hey, maybe they leave a complimentary one in the bathroom or something. No, of course not. I really don't want to go out and buy one.

Do you think I could use yours? What do you mean you can do even better? Oh my god, you brought a spare.

You're a godsend, did you know that? A blessing. I'm just going to ignore the implication that you think I'm so silly and forgetful that I wouldn't bring my own.

Besides, you were right. Oh, you even brought a tiny baby tube of toothpaste. Hey, why is it that tiny things are so cute, like, this is just a tube of toothpaste.

But it's cute, because it's small. Why is that? I mean, yeah, okay, it's hardly an exception.

There are loads of things that are cute because they're small. Ah, toffees. Tiny little seahorses.

Those miniscule octopuses too. Yeah, you're pretty small, and you're cute. Oh, pygmy octopus, that's what it's called.

I don't know why we went from puppies to sea creatures like that, but whatever. Huh? Oh, a pygmy octopus? I think that was the last thing I said.

They're these tiny little thing before that. Seahorses, wasn't it? Or puppies.

They're pretty small and pretty cute. That's all I was talking about. Why? Uh, no, I don't think I said anything between the two.

I wasn't really thinking. I was just rambling while I was brushing my. ..

I'm surprised you could even understand it. Anyway, I want to. ..

Okay, fine. I think I said you because you're small and cute. There.

Happy? No, I just want to go to bed. I'm knackered.

You're not going to let me live that down, are you? It was just a joke, okay? Just a silly little joke.

I don't really. .. I mean, I.

.. No, I don't not think you're cute. It's just.

.. That's not the sort of thing we usually say to each other. But okay.

Yes. Cute. Cutie.

Very small, cute person. Okay? Now, please let me get into bed.

Please. Thank you. Are we going to sleep with our clothes on? Yeah, I didn't bring pyjamas.

I figured it'd probably be pretty warm, and it is. And I usually sleep naked anyway. No, right, I guess we can just keep our underwear on.

Maybe I'll wear a shirt or a vest or something. It's probably for the best, right? Yeah.

I'm not going to inspect these sheets too closely because I really don't want to go back down to reception and get fresh ones if they aren't clean. I'm just going to close my eyes and cover my ears if I see any dirt. I'm sure they're clean.

They're probably clean. At least it's comfy. It's actually really not too bad, is it? So, you not tired yet? Or what are you waiting for? What are you standing around for? Oh, wow.

Not like you to have doubt. Well, we can pack everything back up and go out and see if we can find somewhere with another room available if you really want. I don't want you to be uncomfortable or anything.

I mean, I'm a tiny bit uncomfortable, but not so much that my desire to sleep can't overwrite it. I'm sure I'll get over it. You're not uncomfortable at all? Well then, what's stopping you? Look, I can, I don't know, put a towel or something down the middle between us if you like.

Make sure things stay completely separate. No? Okay.

If you're sure, then climb on in here. Let's get some sleep. I am knackered.

There we go. Just pretend you're in your own little bed. We're both just in a single bed each and the beds just happen to be really, really close together.

That's all it is. Yeah, I should shut up, shouldn't I? Well then.

I'll get the light. Good night. See you in the morning.

Good night. What? No.

Um, no. Hey, are you awake? I don't know if I even care.

Probably should though. Hey, you're on me. Yeah, yeah, you are, like, on me.

I don't know how else to say it. You were, you were cuddling me from behind. Spooning, I guess, is the word.

No, it wasn't that bad. It was nice and warm, actually. Did you just do it while you were sleeping or something? Subconsciously, like? Well, it wasn't so bad.

You can. .. You can do it again if you like.

It was nice and warm. Yeah, that's nice. No harm in it, is there? Friends cuddling friends, it's okay.

Especially when they've come to a new country for the first time together. Hey, what time is it? Like, is it almost morning, or? I don't even know what woke me up.

3am? Okay. We've only been in bed a couple hours then.

Have you been sleeping? Yes, not so bad, is it? These pillows are okay.

I'm usually really picky about the pillows I sleep on, but I guess I'm just so tired that it doesn't matter right now. Your elbow's digging in a bit there. Thanks, that's better.

Oh no, I'm waking up a little bit now. I want to stay sleepy. A few thoughts of what we might do tomorrow came into my head and I got a little excited.

No, I want to sleep. Could you just, like, shuffle right up next to me? Keep me warm? I think I was finding that really comforting.

It was making me sleepy. Hmm, yeah, that's really nice. You know, if I.

.. If I had you in bed with me every night, maybe I wouldn't be so chronically sleep-deprived. It's just so comforting.

No, I don't think so. We can't have a sleepover every night. That'd be silly.

We've got our own places to live. Besides, I don't think my landlord allows guests for more than a week in a row. Fuck landlords.

Okay, let's just treat this holiday like every night is a sleepover. How about that? Oh, sure, I can take a tan, be in the big spoon if you want.

Let me turn over. My arm there okay? Okay.

Hmm, you smell nice. No, there's nothing weird about it. Fuck you.

Just your hair smells nice. Whatever you're using it, it's good. Look, let me have this, okay? Don't make it weird.

Hey, I'm not the one making it weird. I just said you smell good. It's a statement of fact.

There's nothing weird about it. You're the one. You're in.

Whatever you're doing, I forget. It's nice to be close to you like this. You know what is weird is that we've never done this before.

Well, how long have we been friends, you know? Like, best friends, right? We're best friends, aren't we? Yeah.

I wouldn't normally. .. I wouldn't normally want to put a label on it like that, but I think we are.

Shit, we came on holiday together. I think it's a reasonable thing to say. And best friends cuddle each other.

It's completely normal. I don't know. Maybe not all best friends cuddle each other.

They smell good, but some probably do. And hey, you haven't said that to me. It's only a one-way thing at the moment.

I do smell good. Hey, that's weird. Don't say that.

Weirdo. Alright. I'm gonna.

.. I'm gonna try and get back to sleep. You're lucky.

You're gonna get to be the little spoon all night. Sweet dreams. I love you.

I said sweet dreams. Oh. Oh yeah, okay.

Just forget about that bit, alright? I'm too tired. No, I'm just sleepy.

It wasn't. .. It wasn't the right time.

No. Now I'm even more awake.