Oh your a new VA? Welcome to the company. I'm with HR.

Transcript

Hey, this is Frustrated Author, and I just wanted to remind you to please like, upvote, and follow me if you enjoy my content. This audio is for 18 plus only, and I hope you enjoy it. Oh hey, you must be the new hire? I'm F.A.

from HR. Nice to meet you. I just wanted to welcome you to the team and drop off your orientation packet.

This gives all the details and the perks available to you. You know, travel discounts, gym membership, commute passes, things like that. The sexual harassment policy is in there.

How to do it effectively, how to accept it, things like that. I can go over it more in detail later if you want. We usually wait until we have several new hires to do harassment training so you can practice on each other.

There's a calendar with all the special office themes for the next month. Wet and Wild Wednesday is coming up next week. That's always popular.

Don't wear anything that can't handle getting water on it. A lot of people just start with a swimsuit that day. My personal favorite is Free Use Fridays though.

No, it's opt-in. The lobby has lanyards that mark you as free use while you wear them. We tried buttons, but it's too easy to end up naked with nothing to pin the button to.

The lanyards look like this. Yeah, yeah, I wear it every day. It only means free use on Fridays though.

The rest of the time it's just a signal that I'm usually willing. I mean, that's why I got into HR. I'm a people person.

I love working with people and making them happy. On another note though, there's an info packet in there on the training courses that we offer. I know a lot of VAs have particular things that they'd like to improve, and we offer dozens of courses to help out.

Sure. Some are taught by HR and some are taught by other VAs. If there's nobody in-house with a particular skill, we can bring in an outside expert to teach as well.

Oh, absolutely. We recently had a sound design expert in to teach us some effects and editing tricks, for example. What were you thinking you'd like some training in? So some of our upcoming classes include advanced glucking, voice acting in orgasm, outdoing Meg Ryan, making your own wet sounds, fake kissing noises, Foley vs.

reality, and why it doesn't matter. The last one? Oh, I'd teach that one actually.

It's about why sound effects don't necessarily sound like the actual noises something makes, but it doesn't actually matter, because what's important is that it sounds like the listener expects. Okay, so you've heard audios where somebody unzips their pants, right? Have you ever actually heard a zipper that loud? Or one that lasts that long? Exactly! The sound effects are just another part of the performance.

They help tell the story. And the real sounds don't necessarily sound like you expect them to. Sex sounds in particular, yes.

It just doesn't really sound like somebody squeezing Jell-O. The slapping sound of Body on Body isn't that loud or that rhythmic. Here, let me show you.

So when you want a spanking sound effect, you don't actually spank yourself or have someone spank you. Here, let me take off my pants and you can give me a spank so we can compare. Yeah, I don't wear underwear, obviously.

It simplifies things. Kind of underwhelming, isn't it? The mic isn't usually in a good spot for it, and it doesn't have the right sort of snap to it.

And really, if you're recording alone, it's hard to get a good angle. So instead, you slap your thigh or just clap your hands and you get an effect like this. Big difference, isn't it? You don't have the visuals to help.

It's more important that it sound like people expect than that it actually sounds real. Anyway, the next class is in a couple weeks. I'd love it if you signed up.

If you've got the time, I know you've got so much stuff to learn as you're getting started. I also teach a class on continuing a dialogue while giving oral sex. You know how you'll hit an oral sex scene and you think all you hear would be slurp, slurp, but the VA pauses to say things, right?

Um, are you willing to help me demonstrate? Great. Here, sit up on the desk and slide off your panties.

So, you're acting out an oral scene like this. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

And every now and then you kind of pause. Mmm. Mmm.

And talk to the listener about how they taste. Mmm. Mmm.

Delicious, by the way. Mmm. Mmm.

Or how wet they are. Mmm. Which, very much so.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Or you mention how much you love making them feel good. Mmm. Even though you typically just, like, lick until they come.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

You're ready to come, aren't you? Mmm. Mmm.

Do it. Mmm. On my tongue.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Ah, there you go. There you go. Mmm.

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Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

See? So, yeah, that class is, uh, in about a month. If you'd like to sign up for it.

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Mmm. Yeah. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Yeah.

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Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Hmm.

I mean, seriously. I'da love to fuck you right here. Tapi- ха-.

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