💖 Oh My Aunty! 💖 (F4M) (Your Mother's Best Friend) (Second Date) (Seeing You as a Boyfriend) (Hand-holding & First Kiss Goodnight)

Transcript

Well, as much as I'd love to hear more about it, I have to go. I, um, I have a date. Mm-hmm.

Yes, a real one. A real, bonafide, grown-up date. You know, you're doing a really good job of holding that laughter in.

Mm-hmm. No, I do not wish to talk about it. Because you'll try and make it all cutesy and romantic, and it's just.

.. it's just a date. I just don't get hung up on technicalities.

No, you'll try and make it romantic out of me. Just go back to your toy boy and enjoy, please. And you leave my cynicism alone, it's served me well.

So everything's still okay with Mr. Dreamboat? Well, good.

Means I don't have to rough him up for you. I'm serious, you know. Shut up.

I'm allowed to be sappy about you. I just. ..

you're a really good friend. You're the best, and. ..

I just want you to know that. .. Oh, crap.

He's early. Why are men always early? Uh, it's.

.. nothing, it's. ..

Fine, I will go enjoy my date. Yeah, you let me do that. Love you, bye.

You scumbag. Talking to the mama and going out with the baby. Cradle snatcher, if I ever saw one.

Okay, no time to be sad. Titties out, ass up. Let's do this.

Hey, yourself. Exactly what time do you call this? Well, where I'm from, we call it early.

Oh, I'm sure, yeah. Well, you better come in, then. Well, partly that, but mostly you're letting in a draft.

Come on. I'm not pretty yet, but it's best you're given the facts early. No.

I'm old and decrepit, and it takes a lot to make this work. I'm saying I never hid anything from you. You gonna keep this up all night? This.

This, this, uh, romantic suave thing you got going on. Okay. No, no.

Be a gentleman all you like. Just please don't expect me to be a lady that's far too much to ask. So, where are you dragging me? Okay, um, is this okay for whatever we're doing? Well, this is what we got, so let's go.

You want me to slip the old girls on? What? What do you mean? Then what should I wear? What? Lance, where are you taking me? Okay, okay.

I'm game. I'm open. Just don't.

.. I know it's a big ask, but don't murder me. Yeah, I know, I just.

.. I just started this really good book, and honestly, I want to finish it. Now, I know it's a big ask, but I think if we keep the mood, you know, sorta neutral, then we should be okay.

I'm just being honest. You know, so many men have said how they just love me to shut the hell up, and I never know where it could lead. So we understand each other.

No murder, hmm? Shake on it? Boy.

Man. Something. Whatever you are, come on.

I am taking you seriously, relax. I mean, unless you'd rather I take you to McDonald's. Oh, shh.

You used to love that when you were a kid. I'm coming, I'm coming. Ah, young people.

So sensitive. So, who's driving? Pardon? I am not often speechless.

What do you mean? Oh my god. We're walking? Wow.

I feel like I'm back in high school. It's fine, come on. I'm down with the kids.

I'm really not, but I'll be down with you, come on. Yes, come on. It'll be fun.

I'm serious, come on. See it through, come on. You see, now the flats make sense.

Ah, it's all coming together. God, I thought I was anxious. You.

Stop. Worrying, that's my job. Mmm, yes.

Oh, you know, just about everything. Mainly you and me. Mainly you and your mom.

Mainly me and your mom. So, trying to look at this as objectively as you can, am I the biggest scumbag in the world, or. ..

I said objectively. That grin is not objective. That is the cheeky, cocky smile of a young guy.

Not looking at this from the scumbag perspective of the scumbag friend, and oh my god. I suck. So bad.

Yes, I know, you're a guy. You're a consensual age guy, and your mom's having a bit of a crisis that's not really a crisis, because she's in love and it's consensual, but I just. ..

What is going on? Especially with the familiar figures in your family. Like, what is in the water? I mean, are we all scumbags, or.

.. No, your mom isn't a scumbag. She's sweet and kind and thoughtful, and she's always looking out for everyone, and she deserves someone that makes her feel young and happy and taken care of, and all the rest of it, and.

.. Don't try and turn it around and make it cute. I'm an asshole.

That's what we're taking away from this. Because it's true. I am here with you, walking in the moonlight with the crickets, and it's nice, but I was just talking to your mom on the phone, and I lied, and.

.. Well, no, I said I was going on a date, but. ..

Yes, a date. That's what it is, isn't it? You're the one who said I should take you seriously.

Oh. Well, good, because I am, apparently. And I didn't even realize it.

Um, back to your mom. Uh. ..

Where was I? Right, I lied. That's what's bugging me.

I lied, not because I said I was on a date, but. .. I mean, should I just tell her? I mean, what have I got to lose except a 20-year friendship? I'm probably boring the shit out of you, sorry.

It's okay if I am. I mean, it's not okay, but it's okay to say you're boring me. Ah, there you go again.

Mean, sweet, and romantic, and all that. You're your mama's son, all right. Hey.

That's a good thing. She's sweet, and she's kind, and. ..

I don't know where this is going. I don't. ..

I am. I told you. I'm taking you seriously.

I wouldn't have put a stop to it the first night I was gone. I underestimated you. Not just because you came back, but.

.. You're not a little boy anymore. And I see that.

And I'm. .. I'm enjoying getting to know him.

Yeah, well. .. I like a slow burn, what can I say? Well, good.

Because that's what you're getting, mister. There's no quick ride around here. Oh, you got that.

The first rejection, or. .. Well, it's part of our story now.

No. No rewrites, no reruns. I want all the flaws and bumps out there.

Because. .. Then you know it's real.

Speaking of real, where are we really going? A little bit, yeah. Please don't murder me, we're making progress.

Okay. If I have your word, I'll trust you. Seriously though, where are we going? Hmm.

.. I'll see is not a satisfactory answer, you know. Where's my romance? Hmm, probably left it back in the 90s.

I mean, I can run back and try and get it. Well, at least you didn't drive me to a restaurant. It's the pressure and the falseness of it, it's just.

.. No, I know you would, I just. ..

I wouldn't feel comfortable. I feel like you have to pretend to be somebody else there, and I just. ..

I don't see the point. I don't dress up, I don't go out to fancy places, I. ..

I'm too old to pretend. You do know how old I am, right? I don't say that number out loud to me.

Nothing, I'm not embarrassed, I just. .. You are so obnoxiously young, and you say that number, and I just.

.. Stop it! Get away from me! You just stay over there.

Don't try to be all cute, get out of here. Why is this familiar? Oh, major deja vu, what the hell? Oh, don't tell me, don't tell me, don't tell me, why have I been here, what? Where are we? Shhh, no, I can do it.

Um. .. I used to take you here for picnics? Um.

.. Your mom and I used to take you here for picnics? Okay, okay.

What, what, why do I know this spot?