Not Every Holiday is Happy

Transcript

I know you're struggling. And I know why. This time of the year isn't easy, and this year over the past couple of weeks I've gotten the impression that it's been a little more difficult than normal for you.

Even though you wouldn't say anything. Am I right? Yeah, I thought so.

So, because it's part of the best friend code that I can't let you be alone and depressed during the holidays, that's just not a thing, here I am with all of the necessities for making you feel better. Yes, necessities. Funny movies.

I have a list that we're going to pull up on Netflix, Disney Plus, and I will also go into my Google Play account. I have really bad junk food, like the kind of junk food that you're kind of worried you're going to end up with diabetes or something the next day. Yeah, that kind of junk food.

Board games. Oh, come on, it's been a long time since you kicked my butt at Monopoly and I'd like to redeem myself. Mm-hmm.

Yes. Yeah, just like when we were kids. Mm-hmm.

So, what do you say? Do you want to pretend with me that we're 12 again and just enjoy the evening and forget about what time of year it is and all the other stuff? Okay, good.

Hey. Okay, you just said you're down for it, but you still seem kind of off. What's up? Yeah, part of knowing you most of our lives is that I can tell when you're putting up a front and when you're BSing me.

So, do you want to talk? I mean, there's nothing here that won't keep. Mm-hmm.

I'm a really good listener. Yeah, sit down. Here.

Okay. So, what's going on? Oh.

I'm sorry. I didn't know you were going through that. Mm-hmm.

Well, no wonder you're feeling like this. No, no, it's perfectly understandable. Absolutely.

First and foremost, you're allowed to feel how you feel. Yes. Go on.

Keep talking. There's clearly more you need to say. No, I'm not going anywhere.

Mm-hmm. Oh. Oh.

I see. Mm-hmm. Yep.

Okay. It's okay to stop and take a breath. We have all night.

It's okay. Yeah. No, no, I get it.

I totally understand why you feel like you do. Keep going. The more you talk, the more you talk about it, the less it's hanging around in your head.

And it's just me. You know that you're safe, and whatever you say stays between us. So please say whatever needs to come out, okay? Okay.

Mm-hmm. Mm. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Right.

Right. Oh boy. Mm-hmm.

It's okay. You're okay. Mm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I wish I could say something to make that better for you.

The only thing I can say is I'm sorry that you're dealing with that. And. ..

you are so incredibly strong. But that doesn't mean that you're not allowed to be upset, and you're not allowed to feel down, and you're not allowed to feel like you feel. And it's okay.

No. You don't have to be happy, and you don't have to be bouncy. If you just want to sit here in silence all night, then I'm totally fine with that, too.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Whatever you need.

Mm-hmm. That's what I'm here for. That's what friends are for.

The holidays put so much pressure on us to be happy and to spend time with our families and to do things that. .. are out of our comfort zones, first of all, and second of all, might bring up things that we're not ready to deal with or things that we don't want to deal with.

And that's not fair. Yes, there's lots to celebrate a lot of the time, but not everybody feels like that, and it's okay. You don't have to feel like celebrating.

No. Mm-hmm. We all have good memories of different things, and we all have memories that we'd rather not have.

And if those memories are around the holidays, that makes it even more difficult. Mm-hmm. Well, not all of my holidays have been amazing either, but I have some good memories.

I choose not to think of them as holiday memories, though. I choose to think of them as you memories. Yeah.

It doesn't matter what time of year they were. Uh-huh. Like what? Okay.

How about the one when we were 16 and we tried to help with my big family dinner? We were tired of sitting at the kids' table, and we thought if we helped with the meal, we could sit at the big people table. And yes, we still called it the big people table at 16.

And so my mom trusted us to make something and we ended up trying to take over the whole meal, and we burnt the whole thing. That is the first year that we had to order takeout for the holidays. Mm-hmm.

Yep. And I remember when it came, we took it into the kitchen and we put it on plates and we served it like it was the meal that we had made. And they let us sit at the big people table.

Do you remember? Yep. We were so impressed with ourselves.

Even though we ruined all that food, we still got to sit at the big people table and then we realized how boring it was and we wanted to go back to the kid table because it was more fun. Because I'm pretty sure that's the year that my cousin got peas stuck up her nose. Yeah, I think so.

That would not have been nearly as fun if it wasn't with you. Yeah. How about when we were 13 and we wanted to pull an all-nighter to prove that we could because we were trying to negotiate later bed and breakfast and we didn't get to do it.

Because we were trying to negotiate later bedtimes and they had all of these holiday movies on TV that we wanted to watch. So we convinced my dad to let us stay up. You were sleeping at my house.

We convinced my dad to let us stay up all night to watch these movies and the deal was if we could handle it, we would get later bedtimes. And your parents were on board, my parents were on board, everybody was on board. And remember we fell asleep? Mm-hmm.

And by the time my dad came to find us to see what was going on because we'd been quiet for far too long which with us usually meant that we were getting into, you know, something. Yeah, the TV station had switched over to the raunchy movies. Mm-hmm.

And here we were laying on the couch and when he came in it looked like we were still laying there watching the TV and it was this inappropriate thing on the TV and he flipped and he woke us up and that was awful because we had no idea what was going on. Do you remember? Yeah, we lost that one.

We didn't get later bedtimes. And my dad reconsidered cable at that point as well. Remember? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, not a holiday memory, a you memory. We were absolutely horrified but it was so funny later on. It wasn't funny when my dad told it but when we thought about it, we laughed.

Yeah. And you know, even the hard ones were better because we were together. And remember the year that I felt like you do now? It was only a couple of years ago.

Mm-hmm. It was the first holiday after well, we won't rehash but let's just call it a loss and I didn't feel like celebrating anything and you came and you sat with me and you brought funny movies and really horrible junk food that made my face break out so bad that I had to completely change my skincare regime for about two weeks after but that was okay. Totally worth it.

And you brought board games and we spent an entire weekend just pretending it wasn't a holiday. Remember? Yeah.

And by the end of it, I didn't feel so awful. So holidays are about the people that you love, right? The people that you spend them with and lucky you, you get to spend this one with me.

So whether you want to call it a holiday or whether you want to call it just a weekend of bad decisions, hey, I'm down. As long as we're spending the time together like we always have, it's good. And by good, I mean it's okay to just be and if that means feeling low, then that's how you feel and it's okay.

Okay? Yeah. Yeah.

You don't have to talk. You don't have to laugh. You don't have to eat.

You don't have to do anything. In fact, you can tell me to pound salt. You can tell me to leave.

You don't want me to leave. Okay. Well, that makes me feel a little bit better, but it's not about me.

It's about you. So if at any time you want me to leave, I know where the door is. Okay? Okay.

So do you want to sit and talk? Sit and talk? Do you want to.

.. All right then. Junk food.

Yeah. Oh. Oh.

You haven't seen the bags. Mm-mm. No, no.

And there's some really bad decisions being delivered in about an hour for dinner. Uh-huh. Your favorite.

You look like you're feeling at least a little bit better. Just a bit? I'll take it.

Now, what kind of junk food should we start with? Because I feel a little bit silly and I think we need a sugar rush to get the night started. What do you think?