No... I Don't Mind If You Touch Yourself

Transcript

I see, yeah, family can be a lot sometimes. Well, we can definitely talk more about your family, but given that it's our last session and we don't have much time left today, is it okay if we switch gears and talk about something else? Okay, well, our last two sessions, you've seemed not really yourself, so I wanted to check in because you seem a little withdrawn and distracted, and everything that we've talked about today, it's definitely worth talking about.

It's all in lines with the themes that we've been working on, but I wanted to check in with you and see, is there anything else going on, anything else on your mind you wanna talk about today? Okay, yes, yes, of course, please. We can talk about anything here.

This space is for you. Yeah, yeah, I agree. The last few months have been great.

Yes, I enjoy working with you as well. Okay, strong feelings of attraction, and this is towards me. And when did this start? Two sessions ago, okay.

Yeah, strong, visceral feelings. It feels wrong and you don't know what to do about them. Okay.

Hey, hey, there's no reason to be distressed, okay? You have the freedom to say and feel whatever you want here, and be who you are and feel what you feel, and I will never hold it against you, okay? You're safe here, and these feelings, they're okay to have.

I can see you're embarrassed, but what you're feeling is completely normal. Yeah, we have a strong relationship. Therapy takes a lot of vulnerability, a certain nakedness, if you will, and you've shown me a lot of that, and in return, I've shown you warmth and acceptance, so it's natural to feel a connection, and given that you're a woman and I'm a man, that connection can feel sexual and visceral, as you put it.

So there's no reason to suppress this part of yourself. Yeah, desire is a good feeling, after all, but what other feelings does this bring up for you? Guilt, shame, confusion, perhaps? Mm-hmm, yeah.

There can be a lot of pressure to feel like we should be a certain way, whether it be from society, friends, family, and this is especially true for something as deeply personal as our sexuality. From a young age, we're thrust into a deeply sexual world, and it can feel like a lot. Mm, I see.

Well, there's nothing broken or flawed about you, and what you're going through is into reflection on you. I am early in my career, but I've seen a lot of people, and I've heard it all. Everyone has their own thing, whether it be shame about their body looking a certain way, being jealous of their friend, or, well, feeling guilty over being attracted to their therapist.

If you've felt or experienced any of those things, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It means you're human. You're a human having human experiences, and that's okay.

How are you feeling? Better? I'm happy to hear that, but you do still seem a little distracted.

Mm-hmm. The more you hear me talk, the more aroused you feel. No, of course, I said you're free to be your authentic self here.

Yeah, that's completely okay to say. Now, what does this arousal feel like, and where do you feel it in your body? Mm-hmm.

And this arousal builds with this sense of anticipation. Anticipation of what? Anticipation that you and I might have sex.

You just have this feeling that it'll happen, and it'll be amazing. Mm-hmm. Well, we're certainly not going to act on that feeling, but I do encourage you to sit with it.

We can't control our feelings, but we can control our actions, and with the comfort of that control, we get the full freedom to explore our emotions like this feeling of anticipation. In fact, we can go ahead and do an exercise here. Why don't you go ahead and lie down on the couch and just settle into your body? Yeah.

Just follow along the sound of my voice, okay? All of these feelings are okay. It's okay to feel aroused.

It's okay to want sex. And it's okay to wish that things were different, that I'd join you on the couch and show you just how great this session can be, and that I'd say to hell with it and just take you and give you what you really need. You can feel that.

I want you to feel that. It's who you are, and it's a good feeling. Do you need to masturbate? Hmm.

Hey, hey, there's no shame in that. Whenever you feel the urge, you can touch yourself as much as you need to, all right? It's important that you don't suppress these feelings, so if you feel like you need to masturbate, I think you should.

You should embrace that part of yourself and show her it's okay. There you go, yeah, get comfortable. You're safe here.

Now, no need to force anything, but as that feeling of lust, that thirst for more builds up again, go ahead and be with your body and give it what it desires. Hmm, yeah, relax. Hmm.

Attraction is not a choice. We can't help but feel what we want, but that's part of what makes it so fun and seductive. It's something that I have to contend with myself.

I see a lot of women in my practice, younger, older, from all different walks of life, and some of them are beautiful, but they're easy to work with. Talking to them feels wholesome, yeah. They don't have it.

Some women, and they can be any level of attractiveness, they do have it. When they come in, they just ooze sexiness and every part of their body screams at me. Come breed me.

Women like you, they're the challenging clients for me. What does that bring up for you, knowing that I want to breed you? You don't have to say anything.

Show me. Show me with how you touch yourself. Hmm.

There you go, good girl. I love seeing you embrace yourself. Now I can see what this brings up for you.

You want more. You want so much more. Well, I feel it too.

I feel what you're feeling. I've felt this since our first session. You've gotten me excited on more than one occasion.

It's why I often sit in these peculiar positions so that you don't see my body expressing what I cannot. So yes, I feel it. I feel what I cannot.

So yes, I feel what you feel as well. But as I said, feeling something and acting on it are two different things. Hmm.

So while I am embracing my feelings, I'm not going to join you on the couch and scoot closer and closer until we're laying side by side. I'm not going to lay my hand on your cheek, gently turning your face towards mine, leaning closer and closer. No.

Though I may feel the need, I'm not going to kiss you. Kiss the way I've been craving for months now. The way I fantasized about every night of our sessions.

How we'd start gentle at first, slowly sinking deeper into more passionate kisses. As we get comfortable with each other. I won't lay my hands on you, pulling you in closer as you continue to touch yourself.

Running my hands up and down your body in all the places that you want. And though it's what I've wanted for so long, it doesn't feel enough. But that doesn't compel me to start undressing myself so that I could reach down and touch myself as well.

Joining you in a sea of pleasure. Where we both embrace our feelings and just see how connected we really are. Though we want those things and more.

We're not going to act on them. But we can still get so much by embracing that feeling and getting in touch with who we are. So keep touching yourself for me.

Whatever makes you feel good. It's okay to wanna be happy. And as you touch yourself, feel what comes up when you think of me going in and out of you.

Holding you in a passionate embrace. Does it make you feel warm and cozy? Hot and heavy.

Thirsty for more. Just keep touching yourself for me. Let these feelings take over you.

There you go. Good girl. I can see how much you're enjoying this.

I love seeing you feel this good. I've wanted this for you for so long. Seeing you physically embrace your feelings like this.

If you don't mind, I'm going to physically embrace some of my own feelings while we're sitting here, okay? Okay. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Oh, yes.

Oh, these are great feelings. You don't have to watch me unless it's what you feel like doing, okay? You can always listen whatever feels natural, yeah.

Mm, this is all about you. Oh, and this is your time. Oh, you make me feel so good, though.

Oh, seeing you in so much pleasure. Mm, you really are one of my favorite clients. Oh, one of my favorite people.

Oh, you're just so precious. Oh, oh, I notice you start to squirm around the couch. Oh, squirming without inhibition into whatever position feels good.

And oh, your clothes start slipping a bit. And I can see more of you. Oh, wow.

Oh, it makes me wonder what it'd be like to take you. Oh, to take all of you. You've gotten me so aroused, but oh, if you've taken a peek, you already know that.

Oh, my hand sliding up and down my full length. Oh, I wish it was your hand right now. Your hand on me and my hand on you as we give each other what we so desperately craved.

Mm, mm, oh. Oh, are you feeling good? You haven't told me whether or not you're on medication.

I know that can make it hard to climax. Maybe you wanna feel something different and that craving is okay. I want more too, I really do.

Oh, but just enjoy yourself to whatever degree comes naturally. You're in a happy space, okay? Your space where you can be my good girl.

And nothing can take that away. So, moan and touch yourself in whatever way feels natural. And the pleasure that comes, you'll find that to be enough, mm-hmm.

Oh, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Oh, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Oh, there you go, yeah.

Just listen to my voice, let it, oh, let it do things to you. All the things you wish my body could do, my voice can do. Oh, feel it slide along your fingers, heating you up.

Feeling that fire, oh, that want for more. Oh, mm-hmm. Oh, oh, maybe you're wet, maybe you're not.

Both are okay, yeah. It's normal to want more of a good thing. Sometimes a little help is all you need.

Here, let me come over, yeah. Mm-hmm. You can use your hand to take some of my pre-cum for you to use to pleasure yourself.

Yeah, yeah, of course, it's okay. I want you to, yeah, I want you to feel amazing for me. Oh, there you go, yeah, take as much as you need.

Oh, your hand feels so good on me. Oh, you should see more come out in a second, yeah. Oh, yes, there you go, yeah.

Oh, that should give you a little more lubrication, yeah. But if it's not enough, that's okay, too, okay? Just enjoy yourself.

Oh, oh, yeah, oh, yes, dear, what do you want to say? Like I said, we can talk about anything. Oh, it's hard to talk and touch yourself at the same time.

Mm-hmm, okay, well, let me lend a hand then. Mm-hmm, anything to help the therapeutic process, yeah. Oh, how it feels so good to finally, you're doing such a good job.

Oh, tell me whatever you want, darling. Oh, sink into my fingers and let your body think for you. Oh, feel all that pleasure bubble up.

Oh, yes, sweetheart, I know. I know you want more than my fingers so, so much, but oh, you want to say to hell with it all and take me in with the most primal instinct, but oh, oh, I know you're tired now. You're tired of holding it all back.

Oh, but you don't have to reach for anything. No, let the feelings come to you, okay? Oh, I'm right here, I'm right here.

I'm not going anywhere. Oh, I want you to sleep.