Nigel's Sexy Education

Transcript

Hello, listeners, Nigel back, and here today we are going to read some of the nastiest things that you can do to your Mrs. or Mr. or both with your body parts.

I hope you're prepared. Also be sure to have open communication with your partner before trying or doing any of these. No one wants to be surprised, at least not this way.

Show cards can be found at the front desk. Winners will be gifted a judging, slow, and painful glance. This list was taken from Urban Dictionary from InkedMagazine.com.

The Mississippi Birdbath. Filling a southern girl's mouth with Kool-Aid, making her get on her knees with her mouth open while you dip your balls in it. Refused in a sentence, my balls were super hot last night, so my girl let me give them a Mississippi Birdbath.

The Flying Circus. A sex act in which a woman is reverse cowgirl on top of a man. And then they attempt to jump or throw her to another man standing by a wall.

Unbeknownst to her, the second man plans to sidestep and let her hit the wall and fall down, hopefully leaving her writhing in agony. Then both men ejaculate on her. Used in a sentence, James found out his girlfriend was cheating on him, so we gave the bitch the Flying Circus.

A Leningrad Steamer. When one individual defecates upon another two individuals who are duct-taped together, whilst the two individuals are naked and engaging in penetrative intercourse, the defecating individual then proceeds to rub his or her face in the defecated material, orally licking it clean. In order to apply the defecation must contact the outer labia of the female reproductive anatomy and the urethra of the male reproductive system.

Cleveland and that Russian broad had a Leningrad Steamer last night with Rilo. Bobsledding. The act of laying the erect penis along the butt crack and essentially titty-banging the butt cheeks.

This takes place until ejaculation, resulting in a winter wonderland. If you'd like to titty-fuck her, but her boobs are too small, try bobsledding. Spicy Gringo.

The act of stuffing a woman's rear end with a volcano taco from Taco Bell and then eating it. Good Christ. Kyle has a sombrero and a fake moustache in his closet if ever someone decides to meet the Spicy Gringo.

The Blumpkin Plunger. A sexual move which occurs during or at the end of a blumpkin, requiring the receiver to force the giver's head into the toilet after dropping a deuce, usually happens due to lack of skill by the giver to make the receiver come. Mike gave Alicia a blumpkin plunger because of her inability to get him off.

The Bloody Mary. Tweet out a girl on her period, although unlike a rainbow kiss, there is no snowballing. John gave Carly a Bloody Mary because she still wanted some.

The Ramen Yamaka. The name given to the material ejected onto a fellator's head while being vomited on by the person you are fellating. What? Following a huge chili dinner, Frank failed to notify Darlene that he was extremely drunk when she began to fellate him.

It came as no surprise to him when he vomited his dinner onto a head. Darlene screamed and immediately ran to the shower to clean off her newly delivered Ramen Yamaka. A Nigerian Hurricane.

A sexual act in which a man poops, puts it in a blender and then proceeds to rub his body with it. After this, the man must quickly jump on his sex partner, attempting to cover them in as much of the feces as he can while also using anal penetration. John gave Marsha a Nigerian Hurricane.

She was never the same again. The Bus Driver. While having sex doggy style, the left thumb is inserted into the receiver's rectum and turned from side to side essentially driving the bus.

The right hand reaches around and squeezes the right breast, honking the horn to alert patrons the bus is coming. Don't forget to wave to the people waiting for the bus. It was a really successful date until I tried to give her the bus driver.

Guess I'll be walking from now on. The Unicorn. Following in the tradition of the Dirty Sanchez, this is a sexual act.

This can only be done to a girl with hair at least 8 inches long. While she is sleeping, you ejaculate in her hair, aiming to the front specifically. Then take a small clump of her hair at the very front and centre and pull it straight up till it's taut.

Rubbing the seminal fluid and holding the hair until it dries, she will wake up with a hair resembling that distinguishing feature of a unicorn. My girlfriend was being incredibly rude and I was sick of it, so after she fell asleep, I rubbed one out and gave her the unicorn and left for good. Skittles Harvest.

After eating Skittles a bag a day for a week, when a man ejaculates it tastes like Skittles and you scream, can you taste the rainbow as he ejaculates. The Skittles Harvest commercial with the mom and her son who has a Skittles tree as a boner. The Canadian Porch Swing.

A Canadian Porch Swing is when two completely naked people are standing upright, one behind the other. The person in the rear inserts their big toe inside of the anus of the person in front of them. As the person who has their toe inside the other person's sphincter moves their big toe in and out, it causes the person in front to rock back and forth, as if they were sitting on a porch swing.

There's got to be an easier way to do this. Tracy and Terry were doing a Canadian Porch Swing on their front porch and got themselves arrested. The Hickory Switch.

While engaged in doggy style sex, a man withdraws his penis from the woman's vagina, grasps it by the base of the shaft and slaps it against the woman's butt cheek, mimicking the act of corporal punishment with a Hickory Switch. Oh, that's not too bad. Instead of impregnating his wife, Ronald instead chose to finish with the Hickory Switch and stained the comforter.

A Dutch Rudder. Having someone complete the act of masturbation by pulling up and down on the forearm while the male holds his own penis. Jack Kick gave Tonkin a Dutch Rudder because they are two freaky people who like to try new things.

Charizarding. When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, you don't have enough badges to train me. Charizarding with Jenny was a night I'll never forget.

The Hot Richard. When a man and a woman are spooning and the woman farts on the man's dick, making it feel warm and cosy. While spooning on the couch and waiting for ham to cook in my portable microwave, my wife gave me a Hot Richard.

The Chuck Norris. A sexual act during Doggystyle in which the man, or strap-on lesbo, steps over and around the receiver's head with the leading leg, followed by a back roundhouse kick to the head with the hind leg, all in one smooth, badass motion. Dude, this bitch ended up being the freak of the century, so after I came in her ass, I gave her the old Chuck Norris for good measure.

Milwaukee Blizzard. The act of ejaculating into your sexual partner's hair and rubbing it into the scalp. Origin of the word Milwaukee in the definition remains unknown.

Some believe it is because it originated in Milwaukee, others believe it is due to the state of Wisconsin's heavy snowfall. Woman 1. I couldn't believe that douchebag.

Woman 2. What did your man do this time? Woman 1.

Without warning, he gave me a Milwaukee Blizzard during sex last night. It took forever to get out. Woman 2.

Haha, oh shit, I thought you just had dandruff. Woman 1. You mean I didn't get it all out? Boston George.

The act of ejaculating up a girl's nose, followed by the girl snorting the cum. And he gave Courtney a Boston George for her birthday. Ted Nugent.

It's when you sleep with a girl and she gets up to leave the room and you crossbow her in the back. Chris got mad at Evelyn, so he gave her a Ted Nugent when she went to the bathroom. French Rudder.

Female version of the Dutch Rudder. Having someone complete the act of masturbation by pulling up and down on the forearm while the female inserts fingers into a vagina. Melissa didn't want to be known as a lesbian, so instead of actually masturbating Wendy, she gave her a French Rudder instead.

The Facebook. To Facebook someone, the process of slamming your arse cheeks shut on someone's face, generally in a sexual act or to somebody that is asleep, as if you were slamming a book. I Facebooked your mom last night.

The Ben Franklin. The Ben Franklin is actually one of the oldest sex acts in the United States. In fact, it was invented by Ben Franklin 10 minutes after his famous kite experiment.

He used it on 96 of the 100 women he impregnated. Wait until your girlfriend is on the rag. While she is giving you a blowjob, tie a skeleton key on the string of her tampon and rub an inflated balloon on her head.

The gay version differs. While you are receiving a blowjob, you tie a skeleton key on a string, stick the key up your partner's ass and rub an inflated balloon on his head. That concludes this list.

Should you need any others, please leave a comment of your favourites or ones you need the world to know that you have enjoyed or enjoy hearing from me. Ta-ta, Nigel.