Milking The Deranged Tsundere Milkman.. M4F

Transcript

Uh-oh, they're taking me back to your special room, detective. I know you're going to pull all sorts of dirty tricks on me there, isn't that right? But it won't matter.

You'll never find out where all of my milk is. I made sure to keep it far away from you devious little creatures. Only those worthy of drinking my delectable milk may be served personally, by me.

Anyone else who tries is simply a fraud, for I am the only true milkman. Now, what are you trying to get out of me, detective? I see right through all these little games you play.

You know that? If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were hitting at your desire for my services. Oh, what's the matter? You've gone all quiet.

That's a shame. I was quite enjoying your whole tough girl facade. You're never going to get any milk, just face it.

Hey, you're talking again. Welcome back, it was so lonely without you. Wouldn't you like to know what happened to that customer this morning? Ha, they were taken care of.

What more do you need to know? Your little, what was it again, SPC foundation? Just has to get its grubby little hands around everything fun.

I was never harming anyone, detective. I was just doing my job as normal when you decide to kidnap me and take me to this damn facility. Who's the real villain here? Surely not a man trying to make an honest living.

What's with that, detective? Is it because you have a thing for me? You've been eyeing me up this whole time, haven't you, you little perv? Oh, detective.

You know this whole setup has been so elaborate. If you wanted to save yourself some of the trouble, you could have just requested my milk services. You didn't have to be so shy, you know.

Ah, you can keep that aloof attitude all you want, pumpkin. I can guarantee it now. You're not going to leave this room until you achieve your goal.

And I can tell you right now, you're not getting anything out of me until you explain to me exactly why I'm here. Then I can decide what you deserve to hear, foolish foundation members, always trying to interfere with our operations. Filling everyone's mouth with my milk is what I was made to do.

Even here you can't stop me. Try as you might, you mortals will never be able to comprehend my abilities. So let me make this very clear.

Someone in this room is going to have a mouthful of milk by the end of this little interrogation. And you can bet it's not going to be me. I've already had my daily recommended dose of calcium today.

And there's only two of us here. I'd say that narrows it down quite a bit. Now explain yourself, detective.

Why exactly was I captured? I'll admit that the bait house was clever, but it still wasn't enough to prove anything. Oh yeah? What sort of tests did you do on that milk I delivered? You claim to have found a certain growth hormone, now did you? How would you know unless you had some of it to drink? Just what is it growing, anyway? No proof.

Drink the milk. Drink the milk or you have no proof of any supernatural activity going on here. All you did was arrest an innocent, hard-working milkman.

Don't you feel ashamed? The nerve of you people. Isn't growing enormous mommy milkers a good thing? Uh, I mean, what? No, no, no, no, don't be silly.

That. .. I didn't.

.. I didn't say anything. How can you claim that as an admission of guilt? Absurd.

Ugh. It's not like you have it on recording, anyway. Isn't growing enormous mommy milkers a good thing? Ah! It's a setup.

I was doomed from the start all due to this corruption. Ugh, you vile humans. Quit playing dumb, detective.

You let on much more than you say. I wouldn't make your job any easier if you're just going to seek punishment for me. So what are you really after? If my suspicions are correct, then you're willing to make a deal.

Am I right? Hmm, thought so. Now, what can I do for you? But more importantly, what can you do for me? Um, excuse me? Wait, wait.

I am hearing you correctly, right? You actually want to purchase some of my milk in its titty-enhancing formula, uh. ..

I mean. .. Well then, just what are you going to offer me in return? To me, this is sounding an awful lot like some sort of setup.

What sort of skin are you willing to put in the game? Don't say foreskin. Uh.

.. Huh. So.

.. This was all just part of your sinister milker enhancement scheme, wasn't it? But, if you really say you can provide me with this so-called booba bonanza, then let's see it.

I want to know just what we're working with here. If you meet my demands, then I'll reveal the location of my latest stash. But first, you better take me out of this damn interrogation room.

It reeks of the foul odor of goblin smegma in here. I can't believe you Foundation folks don't run a much tighter ship around here. Ugh, seriously.

First you refuse to bow down to my mere presence as the all-powerful man of milk, and then you assault my senses with the odor of such a foul creature. I'll have to report you to the health inspector. What a filthy establishment.

I don't care if you're not in the business of food service. I would refuse to serve this establishment out of sheer principle. Now, take me to your office, or somewhere where I don't have to be constantly inhaling that vile miasma.

Oh wonderful, look who's finally coming to their senses and understanding my point of view. I'm sure you wouldn't be acting the same if you were in my shoes. It's not like I wanted to be captured by your G-men and brought here, and I- Hm? Oh yeah? I'll be rewarded for behaving.

Is that so? Perhaps what sort of reward are you getting at here? Uh, well in that case, consider me a star student.

Holy crap dude, this chick is going to give me an army of free ducks. Sweet! That's gotta be the best trade deal in the history of trade deals.

Alright, uh, ma'am. Allow me to get that door for you. Ah, is this your office? The amount of plushies.

I always get picked by the mentally ill ones. Let's go! This office rules.

You know, for a detective, you have quite an interesting style. That's alright. I've always been into the quirky ones anyway.

Everyone knows the quirky ones have guerilla grip, but- Mind out of the gutter. Oh, it's nothing. Now, where were we? I believe we had some business to discuss.

You want that supply of supernatural growth milk, correct? And I want that army of ducks. I also wouldn't mind grabbing some of those bazookas.

So here's the deal. I'll lead you to that supply of my precious nectar, but you have to send the duck army right away. And let me get a squeeze.

Otherwise, no deal. I think that's more than fair considering you're overstepping your official duties here. It would be a shame if an anonymous tipper leaked some of your activity using an anomalous material for personal gain.

Hmm. Quite literally. Personal gain.

Oh no, pumpkin. I'm not implying myself by any means. I'd sooner die than snitch on someone to this quasi-government organization.

But you never know who would. So how do you propose we get out of here without being seen? I don't think your staff would be willing to look the other way if they saw us walking together all buddy-buddy.

Hmm. With the way you just picked up those handcuffs, I'm taking it you have something all figured out. That's all right.

I guess I'm into it. Honestly, what did I expect when I came in here? Fine.

I'll play along with it. But just know that these mortal shackles can't contain me. I have the power of infinite protein on my side.

Now if you must. Ow. Not so damn tight.

Even with my endless strength, I still have feeling in my wrist, you know. Now let's get out of here. Uh, wait.

What do you mean this is nothing personal? Ah, you don't need to be so rough. I won't be taken to the dungeon.

You can't stop me, you foolish mortal. Uh, so you think we fooled them? Listen, I'm trying my best to act over here.

Now I'm out of these handcuffs. I could have done that at any time, you know. We're out of here.

I'm not letting any of those other filthy humans lay a finger on me. Oh, how dare you? Comparing me, the milkman, to any ordinary mortal being.

An absurd comparison. They can't even mimic a fraction of the power I possess. Now lead me from this place.

You are familiar with the facility, after all. A mortal holding my hand? Well, you better.

If this was anyone else, I would have sent them to the cow dimension. But I won't do that to you. Hey, no funny ideas.

It's purely out of utility. And you're not so bad looking. That must have been the wind.

For God's sake, just get me out of here. This day has been too much to handle. This whole thing has got to be some sort of fever dream.

Alright, if you say so. Working with mortals is always such a pain. It's not like I asked to be kidnapped.

Finally, the parking garage. One of these cars is yours, right? You bastards even confiscated my milk van.

That baby was top of the line. That better be included in our little deal too. Whatever.

I can get you to the stockpile location. Just give me those keys and trust me. I've been delivering my milk for centuries now.

I know all these roads like the back of my hand. Now come on. Get in.

Hopefully your people don't get suspicious of us. It's down this way. I think you'd be surprised at how well I can hide in plain sight.

You silly humans. No perception when it comes to things of this matter. You just need to go straight to the source, didn't you dear? I almost wouldn't mind being captured like this.

As long as it was by you anyway. For a mortal, you know, you're not that stinky. And you don't have cooties either.

I suppose you are rather fair as well. But that doesn't have to do with anything. You're still a human.

A most powerful anomaly like myself would be crazy to. .. Why are you giving me that look, dammit? I'm not supposed to be affected this way.

No, what's happening? You just. ..

sit there and stop messing with my head like this. Get your head out of the gutter. Alright, we're almost there.

After this, this whole ordeal is over. Just focus on that. Up ahead, I stored the milk in that giant refrigerator trailer with the milk advertisement on the side.

Seriously, what were you expecting? I'm dealing milk, not plutonium nyborg. Well, I brought you here, didn't I? Go ahead, have a drink.

This whole thing isn't over till somebody's mouth is filled with milk. I've already had my fair share. Don't mind me, I just need to see those results.

You didn't forget about your end of the deal, did you, human? Of course not. Now drink up.

I want you to tell me just how it tastes. Go on, this is what you wanted after all. That is, if you're not scared.

But if you're willing to go this far just to get a hold of some, I doubt you're going to back down now. So go ahead, you'll see just why they call my milk the best in the business. Ah, now just what did I tell you? Guaranteed booba growth up to 100% in some cases.

It looks like you didn't suffer from the explosive side effect either. That's good news as always. That has been a quirk of this particular formula.

Yeah, I could have warned you, but I feel like that wouldn't have gone over too well. Regardless, it worked, right? So about that squeeze, hmm, yeah, like I'd forget about that, especially now.

With the way you kept eyeing me in the car, somehow I think you're more than happy to accommodate this little arrangement. Isn't that right? Oh, there's that look again, but this time I don't think I mind.

In fact, you've got to be one of the cutest mortals I've ever seen, how sweet. It's cold in here, so feel my warm hands reach up you. How warm those gigantic bongos of yours are.

Oh, what's the matter? They're sensitive, aren't they? That just means I get to control you for a bit.

How do you like it when I press up against your back like this? Mmm, that feels nice, doesn't it? Of course it does, so just enjoy the feeling while it lasts.

What is it, dear? Wait, you want more?