Mile High Panic💘

Transcript

Why on earth am I on a plane? We landing or taking off? Is this a joke? Oh! Wait, is that you? Now you've possessed an air steward? That's a bit harsh.

I'm already inside him, you know that. Very cute. What's going on? I'm going to be helping him, but at the other end of the flight.

He's not even aware of me yet. Well, he will be now. And he's still in awe that he slapped your arse and didn't get slapped back.

Well, that can be arranged. No need. Here's your ticket.

First class. There's an empty seat by the window. First class, eh? I should think so too.

The person in the middle row next to you is about to have a full on panic attack. You need to help them. Why me? Isn't that your job? I mean, you would definitely be the hostess with the mostess instead of pushing me up here.

Trust me, I can't do what you're about to. What the hell does that mean? Just go and help them.

Come on, come on. Just go over there, there, there. For fuck's sake.

Go, go. Hey. Hey, hey.

Look at me. Look at me. Look here.

My eyes. Is this your first time flying? Yes.

Keep looking at me. I'm going to help you. I promise you.

You are perfectly safe. You literally could not be safer anywhere than where you are right now. Can I hold your hand? Here.

I'm holding you. It's okay. Keep looking at me.

Ignore the screens for now. And breathe. Deep breath.

In. Take it with me. And out.

In. And out. A little deeper this time.

In. And out. Keep breathing.

Keep looking at me. Relax your tummy muscles. Each one.

Focus. One by one. Totally relax them.

There you go. That's better. Relax them all.

I have pretty eyes. Why, thank you. I'm glad they're helping.

You have pretty eyes too. No one's ever said that to you before. I can't imagine why.

Maybe you're showing them for the first time. Maybe because I can see how deep they are. Windows to the soul, you know.

And yours is very pretty. What's your name? Blimey.

Pretty name too. Lucky you. I'm Caberbell.

But you can call me Pinky. Long story, but less of a mouthful. I called the windows screens.

Yes, I did. I was pretty scared the first time I flew Long Haul too. In fact, that's very much an understatement.

I know you wouldn't think so to look at me now, but I tell you, I was so mad that my head convinced me of all sorts of things just to get through it. And one of those things was convincing myself that they're not windows, they're screens playing a video. It's like you're taking part in a flight simulator at a fairground.

You're actually on the ground, safe and sound. Just looking at images. You're just going through the motions.

And when you look at the video and see the clouds and the sunset and the twilight, the most beautiful colours you could dream of. It's one of the most amazing videos you could ever watch. And I stared at it.

And I kept staring at it. And the more I stared, the more beautiful it became. Inspiring, peaceful or inspiring flight simulator.

You're on the ground and you are safe. Look at the screen to your left. Can you see that image that I want to paint when I get home? To keep it forever.

Yes, I'm an artist. I'll make one for you if you like. So you can remind yourself of the time that you sat staring into pretty eyes and beautiful screens while being so calm, relaxed and grounded.

Hey, you're welcome. Now, what are your plans when this flight simulator opens the doors again? Where are you staying? Oh, I know that one.

You'll love it there. Yeah. It's a pretty special place and the staff are so kind and thoughtful.

Lucky you. Again? Oh, I would love to have dinner with you but I'll be going in the other direction when the doors open.

We have dinner here though and being as it's a night flight, there are definitely more options available. Well, there's not quite enough room on the plane for dancing but there is room for something else. Just about.

Oh, that would take your mind off it. So we're on the same page here. I 100% agree with you.

Here, let me whisper. You've heard of the Mile High Club, right? Well, shh.

But watch in a few minutes. Women first class see the washrooms near the front of the plane. In a while, they'll turn the lights down and draw the curtains across in front of them to keep the lights dimmed.

It gets quiet. Most go to sleep. There's a curtain and washroom on each side and they're both accessible.

You just walk to the other side so it's very easy for one to meet the other without anyone even realising. There's barely any room but it won't need much. The challenge is making no noise while you're at it.

And there's a way around that too. I'll show you if you want. The trick is to when you know you're likely to make a noise that you're not going to be able to stifle, just breathe all the way out.

Empty your lungs so that no sound can come. Breathing in even fast is much quieter. So focusing on breathing all the way out and not making a noise means you won't be able to when you're most likely to because you'll have no air in your lungs.

Well it's good to see your breathing is calming. It's good to have something else to focus on and I'm happy to be your focus if it helps. Let's watch.

Oh look. Right on cue. One curtain and two curtains.

And now we wait for them all to settle down for a bit. So tell me about yourself while we're waiting. What's the occasion that's so wonderful that got you into this flight simulator in the first place? Oh wow.

Wow. Huh? My gosh.

Well that sounds amazing. Lucky you! Seems to be a theme running here.

The word lucky. You really are you know. Might be good to remember that.

Speaking of lucky. Are you ready for some fun you're not going to forget? Yes? Okay.

You go down that side. It's vacant. I'll go this way.

The one on my side is occupied. You go in yours. I'll likely tap it with my fingers three times when there's no one around and we'll come in again.

I'll just be a few seconds after you. Hehe. Hi.

Shh. Remember no sounds. I'm going to.

.. What? What? You want me to show you how to be quiet? Don't you want to learn for yourself? Because I so badly want to make you go right now.

I hope you can do that next time. You just want to make me come? Are you sure? You'll get no complaints from me.

Okay. Sit there. I'm going to lean against the counter with my leg over your shoulder.

Okay. Keep your eyes up here on me. I'm lying.

Oh god. Your tongue feels so good. Fuck.

Did you know that tiny spot on my clit? Fuck. Fuck.

Keep that up. It's going to be game over very quickly. Fuck.

Oh god yes. Slipping your fingers inside at that speed. Oh god.

That's it. That's it. Okay.

Oh god. You should not have to fly me. Okay.

You see? That's how you be quiet. Okay.

You're feeling better. Hmm. You go back first.

I'll come out a minute after you and back round to the aisle I went down. It's easy. It's close to the snacks.

I can pick some up on my way back. Shh. There's not one there.

Go. Shh. Shh.

Oh. Look at you. The smile tells me you're feeling a bit better.

Are you hungry? No? Well if you're sleepy I can help you with that too.

Just hold my hand okay? You can feel what I feel. It's all good.

Oh. Holding your hand. There's a surprise waiting for you when the doors open and you get off this simulator.

How do I know? Oh. I'm psychic.

It's one you won't imagine so anything you guess won't be it. But you're gonna love it. There you go.

Feeling my calm. You are feeling calm. Just close your eyes and dream.

I won't let go. You'll feel me if you wake up. You'll have a good deep sleep and will feel wonderfully rested when you wake up.

Shhh. Have a wonderful dream. Shhh.

It's okay. Shhh. Shhh.

We're just coming into land now. Time to turn your bed back into a chair and strap in properly. You looked like you were sleeping well.

You were out for a solid eight hours. Well done.