Mama is injured and needs attention. Lots and lots of attention.
Baby, your sexy motherfucker's home. And she may or may not require assistance. Please help, I'm injured.
I fluffed up. And I'm facing the consequences of my own actions. It's a disaster.
Hey. .. Don't panic, it looks worse than it is.
It's just. .. It's just some swelling, it'll be okay.
Yeah, but I mainly just shouted at you because I wanted some sympathy. But I'm just a big, muscly baby. Who fucked up her shoulder through her own arrogance.
Oh, I'm okay. Honey, I promise, I'm okay. Yeah, it's red, of course it's red.
I'm always red. I'm always running or jumping or lifting or sweating or doing something that makes me red. I'm okay, I'm just a baby.
A baby with a sore shoulder. Ai yai yai karamba. Help.
Oh, don't be silly, I just overused. Because I'm stubborn and stupid and I don't listen to people that know what they're talking about. Is that what you wanted to hear? Cause I'll say it.
Well, I'm dumb, but I'm not blind. That is a jacked up shoulder. From Jacksonville of Jacksonville 5.
Mm-hmm. Jackie, Jackie, Jack, Jack. I know you would've come got me, I didn't want to bother you.
Well, I couldn't leave my car there, so. .. I know.
I know you said don't go to the gym, have a rest day, but then I was like, ah, demons, thoughts of demons in the head, I must go. Sweats it out, no. I am being taught a lesson by the gods that I do not believe in.
Mm-hmm. Any pity for the big muscly girl? Oh, please show me pity and pathetic.
Mm, needy and bruised and swollen and. .. Learning my karmic lesson that yes, I should listen to my boyfriend.
And I knew that would make you so happy, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I don't mind you gloating, but could you help at the same time, please? Please? It's fine, everybody can drive with one hand.
That's how I eat my McDonald's. Yeah, but it's better in the car. Just this, don't, don't think about it.
Help me to a horizontal position, please, plus. .. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ugh. Oy vey. Babe.
Why don't I ever listen to you? Matter of fact, why don't you ever make me listen to you? Mm-hmm.
That's where the real error lies. Well, I don't see why I should have to accept responsibility for my own actions. Mm-mm.
That sounds like hard work and requires introspection, and you know I'm not about that. Mm-mm. I'm all about lifty-lifty, runny-runny, sweaty-sweaty.
I got that side covered. Oh. Mm.
Hmm. No. Oh, maybe I'm a little bit tired, but just a normal amount.
Oh. Maybe. ..
Maybe it's possible that I have been overdoing it for some time now. But it's really hard when it's really fun and helps me sleep so good and makes me not feel shitty. Mm.
I like not feeling shitty. Who thought it? Mm.
Ugh. Oh, it's okay. It'll be okay.
It's just. .. Really sore.
Oh, come on, you know gym girls with the biggest babies. We can lift and lift and squat and squat, and as soon as we're sore, we're like, Ow! Beep! It's cause we're just little princesses who can bench press.
Mm-hmm. I was born a strong woman. I identify as a strong woman.
But according to my boyfriend, he's just a baby. Mm. I'm your baby, look after me.
Meow. I'm your stubborn, silly baby, help me. But I don't want to learn from my mistakes.
I want to be pig-headed and stubborn and. .. Just to keep going.
Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. This is how I ended up here. Oh.
That's not even the worst part. We might have to cut me out of my bra. Cause I tried to take it off in the lockers and.
.. There was cursing. Lots and lots of cursing.
Mm. But it's my favorite. Mm.
You got me it for Christmas, remember? Meow, but I don't want another one, I want this one. Because I'm a baby and also you got it for me.
I know the mind of women boggles you, but trust me, it makes sense to me. Mm. And because you were one of the few men in my life who wasn't like, ugh, you have muscles, gross, put on a skirt.
And I was like, oh my god, he actually has a brain. Thank fuck. And then you got me this bra and this set and I was like, yes, I loves him.
And if I have to cut this off, it will symbolize something in my brain. So I might just have to be stinky for a while. You'd still love me.
Ultimate keeper. Do not try to understand the female brain. We barely do.
If you had titties, you would understand. I tried massaging it, but. ..
Oh, honey, you don't have to. You sure? You want to massage me? You're so sweet.
Okay. I just lay like this. Where did that come from? See, I told you having sex on the couch was a good idea.
Oh. Mm. Mm.
Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm.
Oh. Mm. Ah.
No, it's okay. Ah. Mm.
Mm. Mm. Mm.
Mm. Mm. Mm.
Mm. Mm. Mm.
Mm. Hell, you made it so much better. Uh.
Mm-hmm. Uh. Oh.
Ooh. Ah. Yes, sir.
Oh. Oh, boy. Oh.
Is that so? You've been doing your research? It's almost like you could have predicted this was going to happen.
Oh. Ooh. Mm-hmm.
Mm. Mm. Oh.
Oh. Mm. Mm.