[M4M] [M4A] My Photographer Crush

Transcript

I got thinking back when I was in uni, I had a boy crush. I got a little nostalgic over it and so I wanted to just tell that story. Something that never happened but it was nice anyway.

So when I had started my first year in uni there was this media student. They were always running around and interviewing people, setting up some cool shots, filming something, having radio plays, writing newspapers, websites, whatever. And you just kind of saw them running around all the time, doing their thing, experimenting, learning.

Maybe they had some passion projects from long ago that they just couldn't do without the equipment that they had at the uni. I don't know. They were always high-paced so they were busy, they were running behind schedule or maybe trying to hunt down some people for technical help during a shoot or I don't know.

And then there was this one guy. I don't know his name. I never spoke with him.

I don't even think he laid eyes on me. But I laid eyes on him and I was too shy to ever confront him and I never did during my university years. He was one class above me.

He was doing his bachelor's in, I don't know, something like media, multimedia, communication, TV production, something like that. And this one time they got commissioned. Well I say commissioned but they probably did it for free for the work exposure.

But they were responsible for taking the photos for our yearbooks. And well, everyone had to go. You can't just dodge the photos.

And well, we got assigned a day and a time and I met up. I had made myself as handsome as I possibly could just in case he was there, in case he was the one who would be taking my picture. Then I got there, waiting in the queue and my turn's up.

And he's not there. Well, he actually is but he's not the one operating the camera. He's not the one looking at me trying to make me look as handsome as I can be.

He's just operating some lights in the background. And well, maybe he glanced over me to see if my light hits my face in just the right way, but couldn't have been much. Our eyes never locked, that's for sure.

I pretended not to sneak peeks of him. Maybe the camera guy was surprised by how much I got distracted by the lighting guy. I just want to look at him.

He is timid, I think. He seems to avoid people if he can. But he also is passionate about operating camera equipment and taking photos and filming.

I've even seen him operating a microphone, so I guess he can do a lot. And he's kind of thin, kind of small. I'm much bigger than him.

And I'll freely admit that sometimes I fantasized about just towering over him and him looking up at me. His eyes are looking far ahead. He's always, his mind is always busy with something, I think.

And I keep wondering what that might be. Maybe he's thinking about projects. Maybe he's thinking about other guys.

Well, maybe he's not even gay. But they're always looking at something. They're always darting around.

I just can't, I just can't get that out of my mind. The way he's always buzzing around. I like it.

But I think he could stand to be calmed down by someone a bit more patient than him. Someone like me. Honeybrush.

Well, I exited that photo shoot trying to catch one last glance of him as I exited the door. And I did. But he was just so busy.

I've never seen him look up when he's operating something. When he's deep down in some technology that I can't even name. I wonder what makes him feel good.

And I wonder if I could give that to him. If only I could have a kiss and a hug. I'd be so happy.

Nothing ever happened. Nothing ever came from this. I was too scared to even approach him.

And we went on in our studies. I got busy. He started fading out of my attention.

And that was that. I lost opportunity. But I'm not sad about it.

Well, I do wish I'd have done more about it. But at least I got to see him. At least I got to think about him.

At least I got to feel that crush I had on him. And I felt it just a couple of days ago. I felt it again.

And I wanted to remember him and what I felt like. I wanted to fantasize about what could have been. And how his lips would feel against mine.

How I would probably crush him if I hugged him. And how maybe I could be the one to calm him down.