[M4A] You've Summoned Something You Can't Handle [Summoner Listener] [Demon Speaker] [UH OH] [Hot & Mild] [Like the Biblical Devil] [Nine "Baby"s]

Transcript

Oh, oh, oh. God damn, it feels great to be back. Oh baby, you just made a very big mistake. Ah, I don't think you fully comprehend what you just did. A little salt circle isn't gonna stop me. You're woefully unprepared. Just who are you trying to summon? A crossroads tiny little imp? You got way more than you bargained for. I'm not just any demon. Haha, baby, I'm the devil, capital D.

So tell me, just what were you trying to buy? Uh-oh, come on, and don't be shy. I'm older than sin itself. I'm temptation. I've seen it all, and I can certainly do it all. Wanna curse an entire lineage, get a new body, win the lottery, start a global pandemic, immortality, baby, I won't judge. No, no, fucking way. You wanted a companion demon? Haha, you overshot by a lot. Luckily for you, I'm down to play house, even a bit of bedroom, but it's gonna cost you.

Oh baby, I own every soul in hell. It's how kingdoms work. I'm sorry to say, yours is nothing special. You've got lust all over you. You're probably gonna end up belonging to me anyway. And now what I want is something no one down below can offer me. I want a pint of ice cream. Hmm, what, can't the devil engage in a little gluttony anymore? Oh, you wound me, mortal. Here I was trying to give you a premium offer, and you look so stunned. And they call me evil just for that. Clothes aren't coming off to the third date. I mean, oh, so now your ears perk up.

You're terrible, baby, absolutely terrible. I bet you're just imagining a whole slew of things I'll do to you, all the lines I'll make on your body with my claws, all the bites I'll leave on your neck. You'll end up a sweaty, exhausted mess once I'm through with you. Hmm, baby, I can be whatever you want me to be. Shape-shifting is one of my perks, but something tells me I'm already perfect. And perfection has a steep price.

Ah, I want a quart of French vanilla, vanilla bean, vanilla, and old-fashioned vanilla ice cream. I've just been dying to know the difference, and it's not like we get it in hell. No, I mean, obviously we don't have cows down there. No one ever dies with a tub of ice cream. The last time I had all the ice cream I could eat was during World War II. I've been fiending for it ever since. Oh, I just love the comforts you have up here, like an actual day and night cycle or cotton candy or Breaking Bad.

I'm gonna add so many terms and conditions. Oh, come on, let me have this. I know you want to. It's not every day you'll get to date the devil. I'll make it worth your while, mortal. I've got all the perks, body like a furnace, tongue like a snake, and the hips that won't quit. So what's there to be scared of? I know you want me. All you have to do is grab me. I know you want me. All you have to do is grab me. Come on, get handsy. I'm right here.

Oh, oh, you naughty little thing. Really took a handful, didn't you? Ah, here, let me seal the deal with a kiss. There, now we've got a contract. And now I can list off all the ways you fucked up. And no more talking to other people. You're mine and mine alone. I won't tolerate having someone else's hands all over you. You're gonna quit your job. You to spend every waking hour right with me. You only go outside when I let you. When you go buy everything I want.

Uh, baby, I'm old money, ancient even. You really think I'd force you to quit your job and use all your money on me? I know I'm the devil, but even that's pushing it. You do know I'm not like evil, evil, right? Oh baby, they really brainwashed you up here, didn't they? Or am I brainwashing you right now? The whole thing's pretty much true. You got kicked out of heaven, and gee, made a place for me. Why serve in hell when you can rule in hell? I hate it being a servant, and no one gets to control me. I mean it, no one.

Don't start thinking I owe you anything just because you summoned me. Do you know what you're getting out of this contract? Absolutely nothing. Everything I do is because I want to do it. This deal exists because I want it to exist, and right now, I fucking own you. Be scared. You should be. Though I think I can smell something. I think I can smell something else mixed in there. Not just fear, but excitement. Do you like it when I'm scary? Is that it, baby? Are you into unhealthy relationships?

Hmm, or maybe you like the idea of belonging to me. Oh, I'm definitely using that against you. I can do whatever I want to you, and you'll take it. And you'll take it, won't you? I could leave as many bruises as I want, as long as I fix it later. Is that it? Wrong answer. You look so fucking confused. Don't worry, you did well trying to please me. But forgiveness isn't really my thing. You know, stand up for yourself a little. You don't, I'll walk all over you.

Hmm, what was that? Yes, please. How brave. And here I thought you didn't have a spine. I think you've earned yourself a bit of a reward. You, me, bed, now. It's colder than I'm used to, and you're gonna warm me up.