(M4A) It Won't Matter

Transcript

It Won't Matter by D.J. Pynchon I pulled you to me by the hair and looked you in the eyes. Then I eased you closer, past me, so I could talk directly in your ear.

Listen, I'm gonna tell you exactly what's going to happen. Do you know why? I paused.

I said, do you know why? No? You shuddered as you answered.

I thought about how much I loved the taste of fear and anticipation mixed together. But first, because it won't matter. I let that sink in.

I could feel the trembling run down your body. It won't matter, because you won't be able to resist my words or anything I ask you to do. In a few minutes, I'm going to start talking.

I mean, really start talking. And my words are going to fill up your brain and push everything out. Every last thought you had, every last ounce of resistance, every no that you're thinking right now, is going to squeeze its way out of your ears, out of your eyes, and out of your mouth, leaving you an empty, drooling wreck.

I could almost see you tearing up. You'll feel my words begin to slip inside you, showing what pleasure there will be from surrender. Your own body will betray you first.

I reached down and explored a little between your legs. Oh dear, it's already started. Your own body will want to surrender even more.

The more I talk into your ears, the more you'll feel your body want to give in to the indescribable pleasure that surrender will give you. In fact, the more I talk, the more your body will start to want me to keep talking. Because the more I talk, the more your body feels my words fucking every inch of you.

I could write a treatise on all the different sorts of ways a body can tremble. The most important chapter will be the one that describes how a body that trembles in fear becomes a body that trembles in anticipation, and then becomes a body that trembles in desire. Because your body is already going through each of those, and you can feel my words stoking the fires in your body, and I can see you try to resist.

Pretty soon you're going to feel your body banging on the doors of your mind, wanting to be let in. And you'll resist. Oh yes, I can see all the tiny little no's in your mind.

But listen up, listen good. And I paused again, waiting for that moment where I can tell you, you just want me to speak. If only so you can find out what happens next.

It won't matter. I admit I licked your ear here. The taste was exquisite.

Because from here on in, every word drives every thought out of you. Every word I say drives your very heart, and your very breathing, and all of that runs your body. And your body is demanding to surrender so it can have all the pleasure it knows my words can bring it.

So every word drives every ounce of resistance out of you. I can see you try to hang on to some kind of consciousness, hold on to something real. But everything you reach for slips between your fingers the more you grab for them.

And the thing is, you don't even know it. I mean, what day is it? I love that look of shock when I ask that question, and that split second when you realize that the place in your shrinking head where your sense of time is kept, it's gone.

Where do you live? Nothing. How did you get here today? Nope.

Who is the president? What's your name? That's the one that gets you.

And that's usually the one that gets you writhing. That's how much power my words have. They've chased all the little words out.

The more words I say, the less you have to think. The less you have to think, the less you have to worry about. The less you have to worry about, the more you can surrender to me.

What worries did you have? What might you worry about tomorrow? It won't matter.

It won't matter because you'll have already surrendered to me by the time I'm done talking, by the time I tell you all the things I'm going to do to you. You won't even notice that you're already on your knees, that I'm not even touching you anymore, and that you're just looking up at me, desperately straddling my leg like some out-of-control animal. Because my words have chased every last thought out of your head.

All you have to do now. All you have to do now. And I laughed as I wiped a tear and then a little bit of drool escaping your succulent kissable lips.

Actually, there's nothing you need to do. You're mine. Anything you might say now, it won't matter.