[M4A] Encounter with a Supervillain - Part 1

Transcript

Right, security codes entered, all of the camera footage is looping, and my night just got a whole lot easier. Guards are unconscious or locked into their office now, so all that stands between me and the payday for that jade statuette over there, is a stroll along this hideously decorated hallway. It's almost too easy, of course, invisible tripwires, I knew it.

Must have recently had them installed, those blueprints I bought were out of date. Probably have to speak to the fixer about a discount for that. But for now, focus on the task at hand, getting past them.

Not like that's going to be so difficult for a master thief like me. And there we are. One jade statuette, come to papa.

Oh my, you are more tantalizing up close. They keep you locked up in a stuffy museum, don't worry, I think you'll be much happier coming home with me, someone that'll take care of you, actually appreciate you, worship you, at least until I sell you, though you are awfully pretty. I know, I got hired to nab you, but maybe I won't do that.

I think you'd look awfully nice sitting on my bookshelf with the rest of the artifacts I've- Whoa! What on earth? Why, hello there.

I see we have an eavesdropper, and a superhero no less. You spooked me. I wasn't expecting company, and such pretty company at that.

Yes, I can see you, perched up there in the shadows, all dramatic, like, why don't you come down here, I promise, I don't bite, much anyway. Come here, let's have a chat. You're already crashing the party, might as well socialize a bit.

And I always like to see who I'm talking to. Just watch where you land, the tripwires are still active, after all. I'd hate to have our talk interrupted by some alarm bells ringing.

Good, glad to see you're polite. How long were you up there watching me? In fact, how did you even know I was here? I was being perfectly sneaky.

None of the guards knew what hit them until they were unconscious, so how did you find me? You saw me entering the building. Wh-wh-why? I did that from the rooftop.

You must have been awfully high to notice a thing like that. Can you fly, perhaps? You're not wearing a cape, but the flying ones usually do.

Swinging, like, from a vine, like Tarzan. Oh, interesting. Hang on, I think I've heard of you.

Aren't you that super new one that's just shown up recently? The one that everyone hates and can't seem to catch a break from? I am such a big fan.

Gosh, the media certainly loves having a go at you, don't they? If they're not accusing you of being a criminal one minute, they're saying you're causing too much collateral damage the next. Not like the other superheroes don't cause way more problems than you do.

But I guess that's besides the point, isn't it? You're not a member of any teams, and I suppose people need someone to blame for their problems, don't they? It must be really hard.

Living your life, I mean. Oh yes, I know a fair amount about you. The shadows just threw me off for a second.

I always try to keep an eye on the supers in whatever city I'm currently operating in, but I've kept a much closer eye on you. There's something a little different about you compared to the other heroes. Something that helps you stand out.

That costume, for one. I love it. The collars, the logo, the tightness.

Must be awfully hot in there, but I suppose the style is worth it. In fact, once I'm out of here, I might have to ask my tailor to make me my own copy. You're okay with cosplays, right? Not like you have much of a choice anyway.

I'm inspired! What do you mean, I won't be getting out of here? Arrest me? You're going to try and arrest moi? Oh, like I haven't heard that before.

You're not the first superhero I've met, you know. Though you are the first that hasn't just started throwing punches as soon as they saw me. So thank you for that.

Nice to see you've got a brain behind that mask. Some of these heroes are so thick-headed. They think just because I'm a little bit well-known and wearing a costume all the time that I want to fight.

Most of the time. Actually, well, all of the time? I really don't.

I'm a pacifist at heart, if you can believe it. My name? Well, my codename's Shroud.

We're not close enough for real names yet, but it's lovely to meet you. Oh, yes, I have quite the reputation. Shame you haven't heard of me.

One would think a hero such as yourself would keep their ear closer to the ground, but then again, I suppose that's hard when you're swinging through the skies, saving the city every other Tuesday. I am a supervillain, as you can tell, but not one of the dramatic evil ones. I'm not affiliated with Baron Blitz or his assembly of awful lunatics or anything, so don't worry about that.

Just like you're not affiliated with the Heroes Guild, correct? Right, I thought so. You've got way too much class for that group.

Ain't that funny, though, that you and I met like that, just a couple of outsiders, neither of us fitting in with our respective cliques. You want to, though, don't you? Fit in, I mean.

Why else would you be doing this? Seems nowadays most of the so-called superheroes are just doing this for the money, or the fame, or the movie deals. Can't say I really blame them.

A friend of mine, Shockwave, turned hero a while ago, joined the guild after a whole kerfuffle. They've been doing quite well, far better than when they were a villain, but it's not for me to judge. Me, though, I'm fine where I am, on my own, doing my own thing and robbing museums.

Speaking of which. .. I know we're having quite the engaging conversation here, my friend, but I think you were about to.

.. What was it? Oh, yes, now you remember.

Sorry for distracting you. You're here to arrest me, to prove yourself to the Heroes Guild one criminal at a time and one day join their ranks, correct? No? Ah, good.

I was hoping you were going to let me go, after all. I'm not as bad as some of those other villains you've fought, am I? Not as nasty or vile or murderous? Oh.

So you are planning on arresting me. But you're not doing it because you want to join the guild. I see.

Thank you for clarifying and for not throwing punches. Very kind of you. Some of the heroes would take any opportunity they can to take out one such as I, even though I'm not even remotely threatening.

Glad to see you're not one of them. So go ahead, slab the handcuffs on me. I'll give you no trouble.

I know when I'm caught. You. ..

you don't carry handcuffs. Well, however do you apprehend villains, my masked friend? Knock them unconscious? Oh my, my, my, how surprisingly savage of you.

And here I thought I was speaking with a kind-hearted soul. You're not going to hurt me, are you? I know I talk a big game, but I really am quite fragile.

I don't possess superpowers like yourself. See, everything I do is based on experience and skill. I wasn't always this competent, I'll have you know.

Oh, good. I don't think I'd survive a blow from one of your super-powered fists. Why, the muscles of you somehow fit into that suit.

Sorry, sorry, I'm getting distracted, which is certainly very easy when I'm in your vicinity, darling. But really, what's the plan, then? You have nothing to apprehend me with, and you don't seem the type to attack someone who's not threatening you.

Do we just wait for the police, or. .. Oh, yes, I forgot.

They have a reward out for your capture, don't they? Terrible shame. I bet that doesn't help with your escapades much, does it? I suppose you could leave a few moments before they arrive, but then there's the risk I'll escape, isn't there?

Hmm, what to do, what to do. .. I don't suppose you could just let me go, could you? After all, it'd be oh-so-terrible for someone as charming and friendly as me to wind up in prison, wouldn't it?

No? Hmm. ..

Well, in that case, then, my friend, I think we're at an impasse. Yes, yes, there's. ..

There's only one option, indeed. I'll. ..

push you! Then I'll grapple out of here, and you can take the blame! Uh.

.. Sorry to disappoint you, my friend, I certainly was enjoying our conversation, but I have bills to pay, and. ..

Hey, hey, what are you. .. The statue! Give it back! Why, you cheeky.

.. Well played. Tell you what, let's call it even, shall we? I escape, you keep the statue.

Deal? No deal. Well, in that case, I'll just have to close this window and lock you inside, how about that? I wouldn't have locked you in there if I thought you couldn't, but it'll give me head start, even if it's only a few seconds.

That's all I really need. But don't think I'm happy. You made me fail my mission, darling.

That's the first time something like that's happened, and I promise it won't happen again. Ever. But for now, I'm content to call it even.

So, see you around, and remember, the next time we meet, I'll be far less gentle.