Levi (AOT) - Confides

Transcript

Hm? What did you say? No.

No. I don't um, I don't really care about any of that. For now all we have to do is just be on the lookout.

No. I'm sorry. I don't feel like talking right now.

Besides, what would we speak about? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm trying to say. There isn't anything that I'd like to speak about.

At all. Being inside of these walls and just continuing to fight every single day just to exist is exhausting. It isn't something that I want to continue to do, but if we don't do it, no one else will.

And that is truly saddening. Nonetheless, I can't help but just be completely filled with shame because I don't want to continue to do this. I don't want to be this person.

Captain Levi. Hm? I don't see myself as much of a captain, if that makes any sense.

Everyone does. Everyone sees me as a captain, but I don't. I see myself as a glorified butcher.

That's all I do now, isn't it? All I do is kill, and then kill some more. Here.

No. Nobody knows that I smoke, and the reality is I only smoke when I've been drinking. So that ought to tell you what I've been doing, right? No, go ahead.

If you have any questions, you might as well ask them. It's only you and I, and it's two in the morning. There really isn't anything else that we could talk about except the real shit.

And we're living in shit. So go ahead. Ask away.

Hm? That is the question now, isn't it? If we think this will finally end, if the world will ever be normal.

No, it won't be. Won't we really miss that? We miss it all.

And that's the saddening part. Nobody really remembers the world being normal. Nobody ever does.

I don't. And I'm pretty sure all the people that are older than us don't remember it either. This world, it's never going to get back to the way it should be.

You see that, don't you? You realize that, don't you? The world is filled with evil.

It is filled with grays. The world isn't just black and white. It's gray.

And that is something that nobody will ever understand. Most people never understand. There is never truly a moment where purity, innocence, happiness will prevail.

Ever. And if you believe that, then you are, you are lying to yourself. And I don't blame you.

It seems to be that you lie in order to live, in order to be able to live and well. Everybody lies to themselves in some way or another. Either with booze or cigarettes, sex, violence.

We try to do anything that will numb the pain of knowing that it won't get better. It will never get better. The Titans will continue to exist.

They will continue to be here. And there really isn't anything else that we can do in order to defeat them. We have but a little bit of faith and hope to carry us on to the next day, to the next week, to the next month, without truly knowing whether we're gonna make it that far.

We don't know, now do we? And that is what drives us insane. Or at least some of us.

It just becomes more difficult, day by day. And I, being praised for killing, always just killing, well, it doesn't really seem to be that great at all. And the worst part of it is that I try to make it better.

I try by all odds to find something that would make me happy in this world. But we all know the truth. It's impossible.

No, isn't it? Tell me, isn't it? What do you think? Yeah, it's what I thought.

There's barely anything left. And the resources that we have will not get us very far. Apart from that, I just don't see how we'll win.

But I'm a soldier. All I'm meant to do is follow orders and defeat that which stands between us and our goals. Nothing else, nothing more.

If I do anything else than that, it, well, then I'm not a good soldier, am I? Would you like a smoke? If I were you, I would take it, because I don't always, well, I never offer them to anyone.

Yeah? Here. Enjoy it.

Well, if I can thank anyone, it's you. Thank you for listening. It is something that I actually appreciate.

But now let's just sit here in silence and at least try to relax and find some peace before it all goes away. We're having to just wake up in the morning and face the same day that we had the day before, and the day before that, and the week before that. That isn't easy, is it? Whatever.

Finish your smoke. We have to go back inside. Change shifts with the early morning quadrant.

Hurry.