Led far from my comfort zone but unable to resist. A family affair of sorts

Transcript

So, I'm going to get into some subject matter in telling you all this story that may not be agreeable to everybody. So if stuff that could be characterized as slightly taboo or testing limits or norms or power dynamics is not something that you feel entirely comfortable with, I'm not going to tell you to leave, because if you're drawn in and you're not motivated to leave by my words then please, please, please, please stay. But I'd like to invite you to check in with yourself, I guess I should say, and make a conscious decision and alert you that this story tests my own boundaries and, you know, made me squirm in uncertain discomfort and conflicted arousal as it unfolded.

And you know, it's personal and I have set a precedent already of sharing real life stories that don't leave, that don't alter enough details that were a person, however tangentially involved in them, to stumble upon these tracks, they would perhaps have a powerful revelation, but certainly be able to identify themselves. So life serves the risk taker, right? Something about that turns me on, to be perfectly honest, the thought that some people mentioned in these stories, or people who know them, could come across them, I find that hot.

So let's get into it. My uncle Craig was a character, he's no longer with us, God rest his soul, but he was a real renaissance man, he was an orthopedic surgeon, and he was also an outlaw biker drug trafficker. And not even in separate chapters of his life, those occupations overlapped.

And he was really quite capable in both roles, from what I have gleamed, and how people seem to still recall him, and he's definitely a, wow, had a larger than life persona, and left behind a reputation and a legacy that people still mention to me today. He was also very down to earth, and very savvy to what was going on in my life as a teenager and in my 20s, and right up until he passed away, he was very attuned to what was going on in my life, and dispensed very realistic and honest, but still somewhat paternal advice. But he just had a different way of coming at some things, such as, and he said to me, you've got that sort of quiet self-assuredness, that's why you date older women, don't you?

Yeah, you do, yeah, that's right, I can see that, I can see that, I was that way when I was your age. You know, it's the quiet self-assuredness, you know, you don't gotta talk, you don't gotta prove anything, you know, it's good, it's good. But that needs to be developed, you know? You need to spend time with older women, you need to spend time with a lot of women.

Don't settle down too early, whatever the fuck you do. It's hard to hit a moving target, just remember that. It's hard to hit a moving target.

I'd say, what the, you know, Uncle Craig, what the hell are you talking about? Just saying that you deliver is, if it's gonna be so impactful, doesn't really mean shit to me, but, you know, I'll take your word for it, no problem, I'll stay slutty. So, you know, what exactly he meant by that totally escaped me at the time, and over the next year or so, he continued to unpack this point of thinking that it was important that I spent time with older women who didn't suck me into drama or, you know, bring out insecurities in me or ask me to tend to theirs, that I should be learning to be, I guess, a better lover independent of that sort of more superficial drama.

So, you know, like I said, he was a complex cat, especially when one day we were at the bar and he was, you know, belaboring this point that was getting less and less practical and, you know, wavering in and out of seeming to make any degree of sense to me, and he turned to me and said, you know, your Aunt Katie's a real freak in the sheets. I don't know if you would have guessed that looking at her. I said, well, you know, I mean, I don't really know what to say right now, you know, you're an intimidating guy, and yes, your wife, my aunt, is very attractive, but yeah, I'm not feeling so self-assured as to emphatically make that point.

And he says to me, listen, if I get locked up, if I disappear for a while, whatever the case may be, you go over and talk to your aunt, and I'll plant the seed ahead of time, but you should have sex with her. I think it would be good for you. I think it would be good for both of you.

It'll boost her self-esteem, that a young man finds her attractive, and, you know, not for nothing, you can't trust everybody, and if I'm out of the picture, you know, like you know, you know your uncle's not a monogamous kind of guy, you know, and I don't really keep tabs on what she does in that way either, but my thought has always been that I want to take care of things in that regard to where if their attention strays or mine does, nobody's confused that that's happening because of some insufficiency, because of some lack. It's just a desire for variety, or new experiences, or excitement, or whatever the fuck else, but it's not because you're not tickling their hoo-ha in the right way. So you were with me, Uncle Craig, until you said tickling their hoo-ha at the end there, and oh my god, I'm burying my head into my crook of my arm, and cringing, and like, why are you talking about your desire for me to fuck your wife so loudly in this bar?

I am so uncomfortably aroused by that. This is very strange, but I expect nothing less from the guy at this point, to be perfectly honest. So you know, and that last point that I just recounted is something that has been valuable to reflect on and try to see at work in my life, you know, to be unattached and make room to explore all these wild desires that, you know, things like this platform give us the opportunity to share with one another and probe into a bit.

So I had a couple more drinks, and we would often go to this little corner neighborhood bar and drink, like, peppermint schnapps, and I don't know, yeah, different, like, liqueurs and order, it was a very funny place for us to end up, I think it was a, it was an Eastern European restaurant of some kind, and we were eating steak tartare and drinking peppermint schnapps, I remember, I was just like, how does it get any, and me being, you know, giving a paternal lecture on my uncle's desire for me to fuck his wife should he become incarcerated or dead, gotta love it. So after I had a few more drinks, I became more intrigued, more comfortable talking about it. I said, right, are you, first of all, let me establish, are you serious? He said, oh, yeah, I'm 100% serious.

Listen, you know, I'm not like other, whatever, you know, it's not a traditional kind of thing. We got no illusions about who we are. It doesn't bother me, the idea that what my nephew slept with my wife, you know, I told you to.

So, okay, I'm going to decide to believe him at this point, and, you know, when that reality settles down, it's actually a possibility. I am one, very intrigued and excited, and two, nervous as fuck, because, you know, I'm young, and my aunt is hot, and the situation is very strange. And so I asked him, you know, well, are you planning on leaving sometime soon, or what's what's going on here?

He said, no, this is just a general conversation. But if you want to make a pass at her anytime, go ahead, you know, I prefer you do when I'm not home, but I don't know if I see movement in that direction. I'm not stupid.

I'm not making myself sparse. Oh, noted. Let me just follow my intuition on that one, then, and plant that in the back of my head.

I think I asked him a few more questions about what my aunt Katie would feel about this. And he said that he was going to plant a seed, or frame a request, in such a way that it would be a sure thing, and bypass any normal need for flirtation, and, you know, a pursuit to end, or, you know, dance of attraction and tension in that way. I said, well, I don't want to forego that, or whatever, and he said, well, let's just think of it more like a signal phrase, you know.

I said, well, what's the signal phrase? He said, well, if it comes time, and you're feeling nervous and confused, and you don't know how to broach the subject, you say, honey, baby, this is a do or die, ride with me till the end, home stretch, make or break, life or death, are you down kind of situation, are you with me, do you trust me, are you here for me, I need you to do one thing, I need you to fuck your nephew. I'm going to say that to her, and you know, it comes out different every time.

That's how they're, you know, this is a fourth quarter, make or break, big exam, you know, high pressure, big stakes, bored room, delivery, once in a lifetime, you know, you'll wind up like that, and then you say, are you with me, my sweet baby, and then I tell her, I need you to, so I'm going to tell her just like that, I'm not even going to float the idea, I'm going to tell her, when you come to her, that she shows you a good time, she teaches you all that she has to offer, all that she's gleamed about womanhood, and taking care of a man, that she go ahead and impart that on you, am I the coolest fucking uncle or what, you know, and I will hear about it if you're fucking lame, you know, weak sauce in the sack, I will, she ain't scared to tell me what she thinks, I'm not going to go so far as to tell you to make sure you, you know, fuck my wife as well, but, you probably think I'm such a whack job, don't you, I mean, well, one, I am, but two, this stuff has broad implications for your life, you know, if you can't lie down next to a woman who is more powerful, more experienced, has more financial resources, has more authority, you know, has more clout in the community, and satisfy her and be unintimidated by that fact, then you got a lot of fucking growing up to do, you know, so, those experiences humble a man the right way, you know what I mean, plus I can tell you're like me, you got a high ass libido, you fucking freak, so, I was just trying to think to myself how long it was in between that conversation and when my uncle first disappeared for a little while and then did pass on, I think it was about two year period in the interim, and in the meantime, you know, I saw my aunt at some family get-togethers here and there, I think we even had coffee one time and I put the flirtatious energy out there, but there was still a pretty big barrier, you know, I mean, she's not a blood relative, but she's someone that had been in my family my whole life, and is the mother of my cousins, and you know, there's a hurdle there, I wasn't sure if I was entirely comfortable with the whole thing, well, that's a fucking lie, I was certain I wanted to fuck my aunt Katie, I just felt I had to bide my time and wait until, one, until, you know, logistically things were so arranged that it felt less certain that that happening would immediately be disseminated to the rest of the family, that's the one thing I wanted to avoid, so, after the whole grieving and funeral process had settled and a week or two went by, and things started to return to a sense of normalcy and moving forward in the family, I found reason to stop over at my aunt Katie's house, and when she saw me pull in, I went over unannounced, I knew she would be home though, I just had a gut feeling, she's a school teacher, and so her schedule's pretty predictable, and she really did love my uncle too, so I knew, I don't know, I thought for a while, oh, what if she's already dating somebody else or whatever, and then the thought that followed is, one, did you hear anything the man said about what that, you know, means and the significance of all that, and two, I don't think she would publicly be, you know, what she did on her own time, I don't know, but I think she, out of a sense of respect to him, would have wanted a longer interim period before publicly dating somebody else, so, I don't even know why I got off on that, I pulled into the driveway, and she was excited to see me and gave me like the typical upbeat shipper aunt Katie greeting, and then I think she gleamed that I was just there to see her, when I didn't offer much of an explanation, you know, I didn't say, oh, I was just passing by and I wanted to pick some cucumbers out of your garden, I said, what's up aunt Katie, I've been wanting to stop by and see you, and the energy shift that came over her, she went from my sweet and upbeat and positive school teacher aunt Katie into a fucking vixen.