Koala Crush Wants to Smoke Kush and Hang

Transcript

Hey mate! Good to see you again! Come here! Hug time! That's better isn't it? I'm so happy to see you again! But, let's get out of the doorway.

Can you come inside for a bit? I'll smoke you out. Of course I will! What do you think this is? Some back alley deal? You hand me some wrinkled old bells and I hand you a bag of my middest mids and we disappear into the night?

Come on! What kind of koala would I be if I didn't sample the plants with you? Huh? No no no, you didn't wake me.

I've been rocking PJ bottoms all day. Cute right? There's even a little koala on my arse.

How cool is that? I bet you're jealous. Anyway, as your cannabis sommelier, I've selected for us the finest nugs of Colorado sunrise.

A hybrid of… hang on, I have this written down somewhere. It's on the tip of my tongue. Doesn't matter.

Smell that. Isn't it lovely? Makes my toes curl.

Look at all those DHC crystals! Almost a shame to grind up a hunk like this. Oh, this'll definitely knock you on your arse.

So, keys in the key bowl. You're not going anywhere for a bit. Come on.

For me, I haven't seen you in forever. And I miss being best mates with you. You know, when we were joined at the hip.

Always hanging out. I miss that. Hey, hands off.

I'm trying to impress you here. I got really, really good at rolling joints without you. I know your secret.

Turns out, it's just a lot of practice. And when everyone knows you roll the best joints, you get a lot of practice. Which means nobody else gets good at it.

Look at that. Beautiful. You know I want to put something on? The TV's busted.

Friend's pup chewed through the cord. But we can use my laptop. Same password as always.

Oh, I can't stop thinking about what it would be like if you just grabbed me by my cute little ears and face fucked me. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. You were not, not, not, not supposed to hear that.

Or that. Fuck. If you just felt me up and took me.

If you wanted me, I would melt into a puddle of slut. Stupid audacity. Stop playing.

Oh, I know I look all soft. It's not fair that I need to be fucked so roughly. I only wish he knew.

Yeah, I guess this is what we're listening to. She's kinda hot, right? I mean, does she sound like me? Does she though? Like, almost all koalas have Australian accents.

It could probably be anyone, really. But if you like it, we could leave it on. That, no, that'd be weird.

Take a hit. My throat slut training is going really well. I can take this one all the way to the balls.

And now it's going straight into my pussy. I'm so horny today. I can't even stand it.

And it's all because he's back in town. Oh, it's almost like my body wants to get ready. Yeah, she is pretty hot.

Do you like her voice? And when he comes over, oh, I've got some really strong weed. Oh, I'm gonna smoke him out.

And then, oh God, I'm gonna climb him like a tree. Oh, I said that. I mean, fuck.

I mean, oh, hang on him upside down and gobble his cock while I force his face into my pussy. I am. Are you sure you want to hear this? Oh, and I'm recording myself like the slut I am.

Oh, can you hear my pussy? Oh, I tried not to touch myself when I heard he was stopping by for the weekend. Oh, and I almost exploded.

Oh, God, it come at least one more time before. That's him. I'm just gonna pull up these cute little pajama bottoms.

Maybe he'll find out I'm not wearing any undies. That's as far as I got. Do you want to get really, really high and pretend none of this happened? Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude.

I just physically can't look at you right now. I feel humiliated and flustered and, and, and what are you doing? I'm sorry.

I shouldn't record myself masturbating when I'm fantasizing about you. I, uh, I guess. You taste like California sunrise.

And you're literally taking my breath away. And you can do that as much as you want. Oh, I feel much better now.

Do you want to have sex? I'm probably gonna catch feelings for you. Well, more feelings, I guess.

But it's fine. If you want to, then how should we start? Yeah, my pajamas are really soft.

Shut up. They don't make my butt look nice. I think you just like my butt.

Are you really asking? I've been edging myself all morning. I'm practically feral.

You know, I'm too shy to ask. So how about you stop asking and just touch me wherever the hell you want to touch me. Oh, I think you liked my audio.

Well, I can tell because something's rubbing up on me. Do you need help with that? I'd love, I mean, can you, do you want to use my throat maybe? I could give you a blowjob.

I've sort of been practicing, but if I'm honest, really, more than anything, I want you to fuck my face. Please. I'm, oh, at least I'm the good kind of nervous now.

Excited. I'll lay down on the couch like this and, you ready? Mm-hmm.

Mm, you're doing great. Oh, can you see my throat bulging? Oh, yeah, you can snuggle into my thighs if you want to grope my ass some more.

Mm, it should give you a good grip for thrusting into me. Hey, what are you doing? Oh, that's a fucking head rush.

Oh, God, you're strong. Oh, I'm, I'm inverted. Are you going to drop me? Are you sure? Okay, okay, this is, sorry, I didn't mean to stop.

This is very nice, like my number one fantasy. Can you push me up against the wall? Don't bark.

I'm going to suck your cock. Mm, no, oh, don't eat my pussy. Oh, I'll come too hard and then I'll black out.

Oh, I'm serious. I come really, really hard when I'm upside down. Everything just clenches.

It's a reflex to keep me from falling out of my tree.