I'll Always Be With You. (Anxiety Comfort)

Transcript

Pumpkin, you've been going at it for a pretty long time now, I don't think you've really taken any break, um, so would you like to go grab some dinner outside? Are you sure? I feel like we both need the break a little.

Pumpkin, are you okay? Can I come in? I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go in, okay? Hey, you don't need to answer me, but would you like me to, to come closer? Yeah? Okay.

I'll come closer. Again, you don't need to respond, you can just, you can just nod or shake your head or raise your hand. Um, may I sit beside you? Yeah, okay, sure.

Alright, we've done this plenty of times before, okay? Countless of times before, right? Alright.

Pumpkin, can you, can you look at me? Do you want to look at me? Yeah, can you put your chin up a little? Okay, thank you.

Yeah, hey, it's me. It's me. It's always been me.

It'll always be me, okay? Yeah? Alright.

Do you want us to move to a different place? Are you comfortable here? Are you sure? Okay.

Do you maybe want to lie down? Okay. Alright, just, just lean back.

There you go. Just lean back, alright? And just, just listen to my voice, okay? You don't have to reply, you don't have to nod, you don't have to shake your head, you don't have to, have to do anything, okay?

But if at any point you want me to go, you want me to leave, leave you alone for a little bit, just, just, okay, here, give me your hand. May I, may I take your hand? Sorry.

Okay, here. Alright. I want you to hold my wrist, okay? Hold my wrist.

Good, good, very good. If at any point you want me to leave, you want me to, you know, or be quiet at least, you just, you just grip my wrist, okay? You just clutch it a little bit harder, alright? And I'll know, I'll know when to slow it down, I'll know when to stop, okay? Good, good.

Okay. Do you, do you want me to ask what's wrong? Yeah? Okay.

What's wrong, pumpkin? Yeah? Okay.

Oh. Okay. Yeah.

Right. Okay. Well, first of all, thank you very much for telling me.

I really, really like how you told me what was wrong. I really like how you trusted me. I really appreciated how honest you were with me, okay? And before you think anything of this sort, no, you are not.

You are not imposing anything on me. You are not being a burden to me. You are not being dramatic.

You are not being, being too much. You're not being too sensitive, alright? I'm not upset that I have to be here.

I'm glad that I'm here. I'm very, very glad that I'm here. Okay? And I will continue to be glad to be here.

I'll always be by your side no matter what happens, okay? And it is not an inconvenience. It is not something you should be ashamed of.

It is not something that you should be guilty of. Alright? You're having problems for a reason.

And we may not know what's going on, but they're reasons. And if it's important to you, if these reasons are important to you, then these reasons are important to me too. Okay? We're here together.

No matter what your problem is, it's my problem too. So let's treat it like it's our problem, okay? Okay, good.

Alright. Okay, let's do this, alright? Like we've done so many times before.

Okay? Alright, I'll slow it down a little. Okay.

What you're feeling right now, you know, maybe whatever's keeping you up and really keeping you thinking about a lot. Okay? Let's eliminate a few things, right? So, with your eyes, can you see what's giving you problems? Okay.

With your nose, can you smell what's giving you problems? Can you smell it? No, okay.

How about with your lips, with your tongue? Can you taste what's giving you problems? Right.

How about with your ears? Can you hear what's giving you problems? Okay, good.

How about with your hands? Can you feel what's giving you problems? Okay.

Good, you're doing very good. So, we can't hear it, we can't taste it, we can't see it, we can't smell it. We can't do any of those things, right? So, it's not something that's within our reach right now.

It's not something that we can touch. It's not something that's an active danger to us, okay? You are not in any danger.

Not at all. Because you're strong. And even past that, I'll protect you, okay? I'll protect you with all my heart.

Yeah? Okay, right, let's move on, okay? Can we move on? Okay.

Right, so, let's go with our anger memory. Yeah? Do you remember what an anger memory is? Okay, sorry, no, no, no need to answer.

Right, so, an anger memory is one really, really positive memory that we had. One very vivid, very positive memory that we had recently or a long time ago that you can still recall. Right? That's still fresh and clear in your mind.

Yeah? Do you have one? Okay.

Would you like to hear about mine while you think of one? Right, so, do you remember about two years ago when we went out on this. ..

I don't know what was going through my mind, but we went out on this picnic date really in the middle of nowhere. Do you remember that? I think it was either two or three years ago.

I'm not too sure. But I remember I rented out this sort of like van. It was this red minivan, like the ones that soccer moms would take to the games or something.

And I remember when you saw it, when you walked out the door, you called it like a soccer mom mobile or something. You know, something really, really just plain stupid. So I told you to pack a bit of food, you know, whatever food you wanted to take from home, and I would bring the rest.

So we loaded it into the minivan, and it was about 5.30, I still remember. And we hopped in, we took off, and for about two hours and 45 minutes, we were just driving. And about halfway through, I got really sleepy for some reason.

I think it was because I must have been doing something in the morning, so I got pretty sleepy. And so we switched. So if you remember, we were just like standing.

Sorry, not standing. The car, the minivan was just parked under the bridge because it was starting to rain a little. And we just sort of like sat there in the van, and you told me if I was getting sleepy.

And since we had to hunker down underneath the bridge, you offered me two things, you said. Would you like, like you were offering me to sleep. You know, you were asking me, do you want to go to sleep? And then the other option was for us to switch.

So you'd be the driver for the rest of the trip, and you know, I could catch up on some sleep, I guess. And I mean, both were good options, but I don't know, I leaned towards the first option. Just the thought of me falling asleep with you there beside me really was very, I don't know, something that I really wanted, I guess.

And so I fully put the minivan on park, and we were just beside that, you know, underneath that bridge. The rain was starting to pick up a little, and we moved back to the backseat. Remember that? That really, really sort of cramped, but also not so much, backseat.

The one that had like, weirdly very soft cushions. So we moved over to the back, and you laid your head on the window, your back against the chair and half against the car door, and you offered your shoulder to me. You offered your chest, and you told me if I wanted to sleep that I could just lay down on your chest and on your shoulders if I wanted to.

And, you know, I did. And so, I don't know why, but I was a little nervous, I guess because we hadn't done that in a really long time. But I moved closer towards you, and I laid my head on your chest.

And I was thinking of laying my head on your shoulder. You know, maybe that would be more comfortable for you. But, um, I guess something took over me, because I really enjoyed sleeping on your chest.

And I could hear your heartbeat. And that rhythm, the toot toot, toot toot, toot toot, that really slow heartbeat immediately put me to sleep. And I was supposed to only sleep for about 15 minutes, but it ended up being 45 an hour.

But yeah, that's one of my anchor memories. Do you already have one in mind? Yeah? Okay, good, good, good.

Right, so let's do this for a bit more, okay? Our five senses, right? So, in this anchor memory that you have, do you want to describe to me real quickly what was happening?

Real slowly, rather. Yeah? Okay? Okay? Mm-hmm? Yeah? Okay.

Can I be a little bit more specific? Okay. So, um, what did you see? You know, what was one thing you remember seeing that you knew you wouldn't forget with this anchor memory?

Okay, good, good. Do you remember tasting anything? Okay.

Do you remember smelling anything? Mm-hmm. Okay.

Do you remember hearing anything? Yeah? Okay.

And do you remember feeling anything, physically, touching something? Okay. Right, good.

No, no, that's good. That's very, very good. So you just remember these little details for me, okay? While you're going through, you know, what it may be that you're going through, I want you to replay all these little details, okay?

No need to get too detailed with everything. Just feel it again, right? Just feel again what that felt like during that time.

Yeah? Okay. That's very good.

That's very, very good. Would you like me to come closer? Okay.

All right. Come here, come here. It's okay.

It's okay. Everything is going to be okay. All right? Everything is going to be okay.

Okay. You are not a burden to anyone. You should not be guilty of anything.

You should not be ashamed of what you're feeling. You should not be any of this and so, so much more, okay? You're safe with me, okay? You're safe.

You're completely safe. You're safe. All right.

I want you to breathe with me, okay? I want you to breathe with me. Okay? Let's start off slow.

All right? Let's try to catch your breath. Mm-hmm.

All right. Doing so good. So good, pumpkin.

All right. Okay. So, let's start.

All right. Let's breathe in. Breathe out.

Breathe in. Breathe out. And just like that, okay? Breathe in.

Breathe out.