I Choose Us!

Transcript

It's so funny how your perspective change when you lose something that you really love. And sometimes it takes losing something to see the value in it. I'm so sorry, baby.

I love you so much. I wish I would have told you that more. I wish I never would have took you for granted.

You know, my therapist told me that I should move on and focus on my healing. He told me that I should accept that it was too far gone and you were never coming back to me. As long as I fantasize about the relationship and focus on all the things that I did wrong, I'll be stuck.

I'll be trapped in this repetitive cycle. And I told him, I couldn't let my pride and my ego rob me of what could potentially be the best thing that ever happened to me. That at the very least, she deserves to know that she was worth fighting for.

That's something that I never did. That's something that I didn't have the capacity to give her, not the way she deserved. We fell in love with each other at our worst.

Imagine loving each other at our best. When I'm alone at night and I roll over in the bed and nobody's there, and that cold spot that you once laid, it's just silence and your absence and my thoughts. I don't want the story that we create in our heads to become the reality that we tell ourselves.

I've always loved you. I've never stopped loving you. Not one day has passed by that I didn't think about us, that I didn't think about my best friend, that I didn't think about my person.

I wish I never hurt you the way that I did. I need you to understand that I would do anything in this world to take it back, to make it up to you. I'm so sorry for not fighting for you.

I pushed you away because of my own insecurities. I've always wanted a relationship. Every time I told you that I was okay with the relationship ending, I didn't realize the damage that it was causing you.

You cry, you hurt, and I said it for the last time and you took me at my word and you stood on it, and now I'm living with regret. You've always been enough for me. I should have never walked away from my situation, but instead take the advice of someone that I love and respect so much.

They told me that the grass is not greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it, and you're worth watering. I was nowhere near the person you needed me to be or the person you deserved in those moments, but I love you enough that I want to make this thing work. I'm willing to do whatever it takes, however long it takes to have you in my life.

I don't believe this is the end of us. I think this is just a bad chapter in a long book. There's better days ahead, but if you tell me you don't love me, if you tell me you've moved on, if you tell me you don't want to respond and you choose not to respond, then I respect your decision and I'll move on with my life, but I couldn't close the door on what we had without trying.

I've seen the life that we can have together, and I choose us. You're my person, baby. Baby I choose us every time.

I'm going to be the first one to tell you that actions speak louder than words. It's a true statement, period, across the board. That's why everybody says it.

Your actions have given her a narrative that she will carry with her, no matter that she one, wasn't enough, two, you never trusted her, and the third part of that is she won't let you do the things that you were fighting for because you gave up on her. That's what that means. Let's be honest.

When you tell somebody, I'm done, I can't go any further, what you're saying is you are not worth my effort to put into this, so you truly were there with Jordan even if you were emotionally strained. At what point were you going to say, hey man? I am nowhere near the person you need me to be, but I love you enough that I want this to work and whatever we got to do to make it happen, I want to work with you to try to get this done.

When people truly care about each other, they find ways to navigate those things. In your case, what were you looking to do to navigate those things, or were you at a point that it was easier to let it go than it was to work through it? She may feel, you know what, for everything that I was given, I was doing all I could to make it work, and he was shooting me down on every level.

That's her reality. You're scared for people to see you. You got to realize how good of a thing it is when somebody is willing to accept those flaws in you and still be there.

The hardest part is you. You just being able to accept it. Jordan, just want to let you know you're an amazing lady.

I'm sorry for everything that I've done to you or what you perceived I may have done to you, and I know the things that I've done to hurt you. I apologize in every way, shape, or form. I wish you nothing but the best.

I want you to succeed in life and just know that there is a person out there that truly knows how special you are, and I hope that you remember that for yourself. The more you question what you've done, the more you question, do I need to do this extra, the more you look up things to say, hey, the more you do that, the longer this process takes. I really don't want to let it go, though.

I really don't.