🫦 😉 Hit On Me 😉 🫦 (F4A) (Adorable Older Woman) (Work Colleagues) (Drinks & Flirting) (You Wanna Try Dating?) (Okay, Shoot Your Shot)

Transcript

And on that note, we are officially done. Free dumb from the grind. Let's go home and be irresponsible, and by that I mean eat copious amounts of food and switch off mentally from the world.

All finished. You alright? No, no staying behind like tonight, go home, for god's sake.

Because these big bad companies do not care about the overtime or effort that you put in. Go home. Do you know what the reward for working hard is? More work with less pay.

Go home. Switch off, be one with the sofa. I believe in you.

You can do this. Well, if you don't want to go home, how about this? You come out with me and have a wild adventure, and by that I mean we go to a respectable place of business and have two or three drinks.

Come on, I'll pay. Well, one I'm older, and two you need to do something beyond work and sleep. Come on, hang out with the old fogey.

Do not be expecting wisdom to come from this, there is none to be had, but there will be drinks and food, so all is not lost. Come on. Yes? Oh, well, don't do me a favour.

Thank you, that is the correct response, come on. Oh, do not be silly, nobody is driving any car, we are getting an uber. Yeah, and I am in my late thirties, it only takes two drinks for me to be sloshed.

Well, at least I'm a cheap date. Come on. No, no, you went on a date with Sandy from accounts, how did that come about? Oh, no, you don't fall for the trap of a pity date, for goodness sake.

No, no, no, no, you think you're doing a kindness that is not a kindness that is just a gateway into awkward, awkward, awkward land. Please, for the love of God, tell me it ended there. Yeah, she will say racist things, because she's racist.

Oh, I'm sorry. Here's to no more pity dates. Speaking of dating and excluding pity, are you seeing anyone? Oh, not even anything casual? Well, it just seems that's everybody's response nowadays.

We're all too tired and, well, quite frankly, apathetic. And I can't really blame us all, I mean, we're all exhausted and disillusioned about the future and our place in it, and it just feels so like men v. women and gays versus lesbians and it's just like, what is even going on? The straights are not okay, the gays are anxious, and everything is just.

.. No, thank you, I'd rather be in my bed. Alone with snacks.

Again, not a criticism, just. .. I feel like we're all just too overwhelmed to even try, you know? I can really.

.. Because by the time I've finished my 9 to 5, got home, exercised, made dinner, had a shower, there's only like an hour and a half for me to either read a book or watch something and then it's lights out because I have to do it all over again, and it's like. ..

Where would I find time to even start a relationship in that? It's not giving soft girl energy, it's giving I'm on my arse and then when I have time off, I need to lay down and stare into the pillow. Oh, no, no, no, no.

I think I might be past dating at this point. I don't know, I just. ..

It all feels rather transactional. What do you bring to the table? What kind of table do you have? Why are we talking about tables when this is supposed to be about love and connection and intimacy? But there you are, it's turned into a table conversation.

And it all just feels so aggressive and intense and I am not any of those things and. .. I mean, what happened to the good old days of just marrying the first person that asked you? Not that I want to go back to those times, obviously, it's just it was simpler.

And I think that's what this is, it's just a big open space of question marks and that's why everyone's like, I don't know what to do, are we supposed to be masculine, feminine, submissive, dominant, curious, bisexual? What are we supposed to be? And it just leaves people feeling like, I'm going to take to my bed because I don't have the answers.

Again, totally understandable. Just prattling on about nothing. So, if you're not dating, do you want to? No, I don't think you're stupid, I think you're brave.

And it's nice that you're being honest, a lot of people now are just like, oh, I don't know. I'm serious, it's good to be like, yes, I would like to, I'm just terrified. Valid, sensible, wise.

But also brave, because it's brave to be like, I would like someone. Don't ever be embarrassed about wanting to date, ever. Why is it embarrassing? That is not embarrassing, what's embarrassing is being too lazy and scared and just laying in your bed and going, ah, I'm lonely but I'm not that lonely.

Anyway, if you want to date, you should date. Because life is for living and all that shit and we need to embrace and be brave and go forth and find connection and meaning and you can do this. And I might slightly want to live vicariously through you, but you know, that's a separate issue.

Come on, be brave, I want to live off your romance. Yes, you can, you're very nice. And you're smart and you have nice teeth and a job.

Homeless people date, okay? You have attributes, okay? You have skills and empathy and very good diction.

I may have had a mimosa, but I know what I'm talking about, okay? You are very nice. And you have very pretty hair.

Which I should have told you about earlier. Yes, it's super glossy. You're welcome.

So, are we going to put you on a dating site? But I'm bored and if I use you as a guinea pig it means I have to live through you with zero consequences. But you'd be a good dater.

Well, you're polite, cute, not creepy. Three for three. Come on, let's do a practice introduction.

Because you want to date and I want to help you and I'm bored and. .. What else are we going to do? Scroll on our phones all night? Exactly.

So, you face me, I face you. Hello. Hi.

I'm T. I'm 37. I work in an office.

It's very boring, but I make it work and I enjoy being lazy, cosy and yeah. Oi! What are you laughing for? You're not supposed to laugh at your date.

Oh, I can't be bothered with all that lying bullshit of like, oh, I occasionally jog. No, I don't. Because I have to and my organs say, move, bitch.

That's not a hobby, that's something I have to do. And yes, I can make it more pleasant with music, but I'm not going to lie to you that moving is my entire personality because it's not. In fact, my personality is very much rooted in laying down.

So, work with it. Nice to meet you. Oh, you're also a connoisseur of doing what you want, which includes doing very little.

This seems promising. Well, maybe people should be this honest, you know? What's the point of being like, oh, and I like to do this and I've travelled here.

It's like, maybe you have done those things, but is that you? Is that the core of you? Is that really what you're advertising here? False advertisement is not appreciated in the dating world.

Nobody wants an indecisive Devon or Deborah. We want a sincere Susan or Steve. And Susan sincerely says, I'm not that interesting, but then I'm also not a thesis paper.

So, I do this job, but it's not my personality. I have these friends. I like these shows, these comics.

That's pretty much it. And I have a cat. And she is my world.

You will never replace her. But I'm very loving and warm. I will make you feel at the centre of the world, because you will be the centre of the world to me.

Nessie! Honesty is the best policy, even if it's not that glamorous. It will be sincere.

Here you go. Come on, keep the conversation going. Oh, thank you.

You're very pretty too. I didn't realise we were actually going to flirt. How scandalous.

You know I think you're pretty. I told you you were polite, you have nice teeth and glossy hair. Of course I think you're pretty.

You don't have to list things back. No, it has to be sincere. You don't just have to match me compliment for compliment like you gave me one so I must give you one back.

Oh, that's nice. It's actually been ages since someone called me pretty. Yeah.

Well, I am sufficiently flustered after one compliment about my appearance, so I think that's further proof that I shouldn't be dating and you are more than capable of securing a date. Good job. No, you didn't embarrass me, I'm just.

.. I'm just being stupid. And we should get the bill and I should pay for an Uber.

You didn't, you didn't do anything wrong, I'm just being stupid. Because this is why I don't date, because I just. ..

Somehow I. .. Sorry, I'm just being strange.

Sorry. No, it's just. ..

I really don't want to sound like a complete creep, but the reason I asked you out is because I. .. have a slight to moderate crush on you and I wanted to spend time with you and now I'm just.

..